# Advanced urinal etiquette
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 2, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675 "2005-12-02T03:15:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 7
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/21 "2005-12-02T23:27:32Z")
Stand next to him and “cross streams”
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
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### Author:  [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2005, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/22 "2005-12-02T23:34:23Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> If every other stall is taken you take the one closest to you. If you take the other one it implies that you made a concious choice to be near the guy at urinal E. The only reason for this is that you want to see his pecker you big pervert.
So, I have to make a conscious choice to make it look like I’m not making a cnoscious choice. Interesting.
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### Author:  [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)
#### Post date: [December 2, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/23 "2005-12-02T23:55:27Z")
> [@ethelbert](#):
>
> When faced with difficult decisions like this, I generally smile vacantly and wet my pants.
OK, this just about killed me.
I especially like the idea (implied by the “like this”) that there are a number of similarly difficult decisions that **ethelbert** would handle the same way.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/24 "2005-12-03T00:51:24Z")
> [@Fiveyearlurker](#):
>
> So, I have to make a conscious choice to make it look like I’m not making a cnoscious choice. Interesting.
Yep.
Plus, when I’ve been drinking in a bar, the choice is usually the closest one just out of practical concerns.
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### Author:  [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/25 "2005-12-03T00:57:46Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> Yep.
> Plus, when I’ve been drinking in a bar, the choice is usually the closest one just out of practical concerns.
I gotta say, that I’ve been lurking these parts for a long time, posting for somewhat less time. I read GD all the time. This is the first time that I have ever opened a thread with one opinion and had that opinion completely changed. Your “closest urinal to make it look non chalant” method makes complete sense.
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### Author:  [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/26 "2005-12-03T01:07:50Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> Boy, am I glad women have private stalls. I had no _idea_ the problems that can crop up in the men’s room!
Surely the ladies must quickly calculate all the variables while nonchalantly, and confidently walking straight to the most appropriate stall. Just as we guys do with urinals.
You go into a bathroom with your girlfriend. Five stalls A-E. C & E are occupied. Your girlfriend beats you to stall A. Do you go for stall B, or stall D?
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### Author:  [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)
#### Post date: [December 3, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advanced-urinal-etiquette/333675/27 "2005-12-03T06:53:16Z")
::crickets chirping::
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