# Adventures in bureaucracy: Changing your name and pushing the red button **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 29, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523 "2005-12-29T01:15:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/21 "2005-12-29T17:40:58Z")
> [@SanibelMan](#): > > The county license bureau only just started taking debit cards, for which they charge a 2 percent fee. The last time I saw a fee for using your debit card in a non-government store was about five years ago. Some explanation for that: generally, banks charge the store a fee to accept payment from a debit card. 1. In a commercial store, this fee can be covered by just raising the prices of all the goods sold a bit to cover this as part of the ‘overhead’. Government agencies often don’t have the freedom to do this. Their fees may be set in the statutes. 2. In many cases, there are regulations that the fee charged be related to the service provided. And prohibitions on cost-spreading to all users. That is what you are asking for – you want everyone to pay a little more, so that you will have the convenience of paying with your debit card. 3. Stores accept multiple forms of payment because they have to – their competitors do so, and they have to match them. There probably isn’t any competition for a license bureau, so they don’t have to do all the expensive overhead things that stores do. You still may not agree with these reasons, of course. ---
**Author:** ![ethanwinfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/96bed5/32.png) [@ethanwinfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ethanwinfield)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/22 "2005-12-29T17:56:40Z")
I renewed my license about 3 months before I got married. At the time, they took a new photo which is “stored in their system.” I know this because they told me so and because when I had moved 2 years prior, they used my old photo on the license with the new address. After getting married, I took my original marriage certificate to the DMV to change the name. I was told that the original was not good enough; it had to be a certified copy. I waited a few weeks for said certified copy. It was nothing more than a Xeroxed copy of the original with the same “certified” stamp as on my original. The only difference is that my original is stamped “certified original” and the copy is stamped “certified copy.” Armed with my original and copy, I returned to the DMV to change the name. I thought it would be as simple as changing my address. I was ready to leave with my paper temp license when the clerk said, “We need to take your photo now.” “Huh? You just took my photo three months ago, can’t you just use the same one?” The reply: “No. You change your name, you change your photo.” Suddenly visions of what could happen flooded through my head. I pictured myself driving down the freeway and getting stopped by a cop. “Ma’am, this isn’t you. Clearly the photo is of someone with a different last name than yours. You have stolen her photo, what else of hers have you stolen?” Not wanting to deal with my imagined eye-rolling fears, I let them snap a photo. At least I won’t need a photo taken for another 10 years, since this one is stored electronically. Unless, of course, I change my name. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/23 "2005-12-29T18:12:14Z")
NJ recently (in response to massive fraud allegations) changed to a complex 6-point system of verifying personal I.D. when acquiring or renewing a driver’s licence. So I brought in my old license, my passport, my FAA pilot’s licence, some bills addressed to me at my home, and a partridge in a pear tree. Problem was, everything except the old license had my middle name or initial. No good. Need official I.D. with middle name/initial. “Bring in your birth certificate.” Yeah, but my birth certificate has my birth name, not the name I’ve been using these past 41 years. “So bring in your marriage license.” Yeah, right. Where the dickens is _that_? So hubby had to go calling and trekking about the town where I lived when we wed, the town where he lived, and the town where the marriage took place. Finally obtained a copy, returned to the DMV, where this time all went well. The good part is that these days all the folks in the DMV are remarkably friendly and efficient. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/24 "2005-12-29T18:40:05Z")
> [@Mama Tiger](#): > > I knew a couple who, when they got married, combined their two previous last names into a new one – not hyphenated, an actual new name. It was sweet, actually, but oy, the aggravation. It’s really not worth going to all that trouble, I wouldn’t think, unless you’re sentimental fools like they are. The new name wouldn’t happen to be “Dreslough”, would it? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/25 "2005-12-29T19:02:33Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Just a thought: Mr. Jones marries Ms. Smith = Mr.& Mrs. Jones-Smith > Mr. Black marries Ms. White = Mr.& Mrs.Black-White > > each couple has children- the Jones-Smith girl loves the Black-White boy. > > New couple - Mr. & Mrs. JonesSmith-BlackWhite - when does the madness end- 😉 ? > > crazy! As someone whose parents gave her a hyphenated name at birth, I’d like to congratulate you for being the FIRST PERSON TO EVER THINK OF THIS QUESTION! Go you. Trust me, find a hyphenated person and ask them this, they will find it hilaaaaaaaarious. Amusing related anecdote: a family friend was recently married, and tacked her husband’s name onto her own, no hyphen. But thanks to weird spacing, her new SS card was issued with the last two letters of her maiden name missing. The result is pretty hilarious, as her maiden name is Spanish and the “ll” in it is cut off halfway through. Like, it went from (this isn’t her name, but it’s the same idea) Carillo to Caril. Her married name is in its complete form all alone on the next line down. Now she has to go back and get them to move her maiden name to the next line so she can fit in both of her last names. How stupid is this? Do they not have functioning brains at Social Security? In closing, congratulations to **Sani**! Man, do I feel old now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/26 "2005-12-30T00:44:48Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > \ > But you know what? I never should have changed the doggone name in the first place. No law requires it; no reason any woman should have to give up her name just because she got married. It’s a dumb tradition whose time has long since passed. Just a few thoughts on this - some of us have fathers who we have no interest in honouring by keeping their name. I gladly changed mine to my husband’s name when I got married for this reason alone. I agree that the tradition is dumb and its time has passed, however. Now, if we girls got our mother’s name at birth, and the boys got their father’s, that would be a whole different ballgame. I’d totally be down with that. I’d love to have a last name that belonged to the women in my family down through the ages. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/27 "2005-12-30T02:50:26Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Just a few thoughts on this - some of us have fathers who we have no interest in honouring by keeping their name. I gladly changed mine to my husband’s name when I got married for this reason alone. My friends whoknew that I have little use for my father marveled at the fact that I did not change my name when I married Mr. S. “Why would you want to keep your father’s name?” Yes, it’s his name, but it’s my name too – it was given to me when I was born. I’d already been using it for 23 years and did not feel that I had become a different enough person on marriage to warrant a name change. It also belongs to my father’s family – aunts and uncles – who are bright and interesting and with whom I feel much more affinity than with my mother’s family, who are somewhat vapid. (My father is the odd duck of the family. I should have been my uncle’s kid!) That said, I had a bit of runaround with my bank when I called to tell them that I was getting married, but NOT changing my name, so was there anything else I needed to do with my accounts? “Just bring us the info when you change your name.” Back to Listening Comprehension 101 for you! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/28 "2005-12-30T04:01:59Z")
Oh, and congratulations to **SanibelMan and Woman**. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/29 "2005-12-30T04:36:06Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Just a few thoughts on this - some of us have fathers who we have no interest in honouring by keeping their name. I gladly changed mine to my husband’s name when I got married for this reason alone. I agree that the tradition is dumb and its time has passed, however. Now, if we girls got our mother’s name at birth, and the boys got their father’s, that would be a whole different ballgame. I’d totally be down with that. I’d love to have a last name that belonged to the women in my family down through the ages. After putting a few years of thought into this (from the fairly slow but steady stream of threads on this subject) I’ve concluded that we no longer need last names. And _that_ is the tradition we should chuck whenever we please. Just give your kids a good, nice sounding string of names and let the last one be their last name. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/30 "2005-12-30T04:37:58Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > This is one of many reasons why I always advise people not to muck around with their names when they get married. The world will not come to an end if all parties keep the names they were born with. > > I changed my name to my husband’s last name when we married … > > The fun started when I decided it didn’t sound like my name, and I wanted to change it back… > > But you know what? I never should have changed the doggone name in the first place. No law requires it; no reason any woman should have to give up her name just because she got married. It’s a dumb tradition whose time has long since passed. I decided to revert to my maiden name several years after we were married. I too wish I’d never changed it in the first place. I have nothing at all against _his_ name but it’s not mine and I wanted mine back. Maybe bureaucracy has increased tenfold since I walked down the aisle but the carry-on and hurdles I had to jump to change my surname back to that which I was born with made it almost not worth the trouble. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/31 "2006-01-05T07:28:04Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Just a thought: Mr. Jones marries Ms. Smith = Mr.& Mrs. Jones-Smith > Mr. Black marries Ms. White = Mr.& Mrs.Black-White > > each couple has children- the Jones-Smith girl loves the Black-White boy. > > New couple - Mr. & Mrs. JonesSmith-BlackWhite - when does the madness end- 😉 ? > > crazy! In high school I read a “future history” book written in the 70s. It focused alot on feminism. Apparently by the year 2000 all women will keep their own names and after kids start to have names Smith-Doe-Public-Smithee the government will change the law letting people have only one name as long as no one else has the same name. Enter Milleny (first child born in 2000). Her parents aren’t married (no one feels the need for marriage anymore), they don’t have a kitchen (people have community kitchens). Also America switched to a parliamentary system after the second Ford adminstration and gays and lesbians worldwide got total equality in 1981. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/32 "2006-01-05T13:51:48Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Just a thought: Mr. Jones marries Ms. Smith = Mr.& Mrs. Jones-Smith > Mr. Black marries Ms. White = Mr.& Mrs.Black-White > > each couple has children- the Jones-Smith girl loves the Black-White boy. > > New couple - Mr. & Mrs. JonesSmith-BlackWhite - when does the madness end- 😉 ? > > crazy! They could use the hispanic method. Sr. Verde meets Señorita Roja and marries her. Their son is Sr. Pablo Verde-Roja. Sr. Verde-Roja meets Señorita Perro-Gato and marries her. Their daughter is Señorita María Verde-Perro. María marries Sr. Arbola-Hombre and becomes Sra. Arbola-Verde. ¿Bueño? ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523/33 "2006-01-05T14:17:41Z")
Legally in the UK and Ireland a married woman may keep her maiden name or take her husband’s name without filling in any additional paperwork. If however, one or both of you wish to hyphenate you names or if the husband wishes to change his last name, the name change has to be by deed-poll. A copy of the marriage licence is all that is required if you wish to apply for a new passport, driver’s licence, change you bank account etc. Three months after getting married, my college and hospital IDs and my Irish bank accounts are in my new name, my drivers licence, passport and my UK bank accounts are in my old name. I’m changing a little at a time, as I need to. The next thing will be my passport, I’m going to apply for an Irish passport in my new name and a British one in my new name shortly afterwards, as we’re going to Portugal in May and it is booked under my married name. So far it has all been very hassle-free. I chose my husband, in a way I did not choose my father ( I love him dearly, but I didn’t _choose_ him). Taking my husband’s name is something I wanted to do…if I have to carry somebody’s name, I’d rather it was the name of the man I chose. Plus “Dr irishgirl marriedname” sounds like a super-hero, while “Dr irishgirl maidenname” sounds like an elderly lady. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adventures-in-bureaucracy-changing-your-name-and-pushing-the-red-button/337523.md?page=1)