# Advertising ploys **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142 "2010-07-18T18:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/1 "2010-07-18T18:37:00Z")
Inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=571284). > [@A Brit vs. Yank question--minor \[meaning of "buffeting"\]](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-brit-vs-yank-question-minor-meaning-of-buffeting/547128/13): > > I can’t imagine that the British are any more impressed with that idiotic sales pitch than Americans are. I’m sure there are similar proportions of folk who are so excited by the “coolness” that they overlook the fact that no one was complaining about choppy air or buffeting in the first place, as well as of people who stare at the ring and don’t realize that it’s just a ducted fan, and not bladeless at all. I’m getting tired of marketing hype. Dyson, the subject of the linked thread, has their ‘buffet-free fan’. Then there are the HD Vision sunglasses. Oy, veh… Yeah, yellow lenses do make things ‘pop’ in sunlight. But these aren’t ‘shooting glasses’, as we used to call them. They’re HIGH DEFINITION glasses! :eek: What, real life isn’t high-def enough for you? What happens if you watch a high-def TV while wearing high-def glasses? Do you enter another dimension? Oh, and they’re ‘Euro-Style’. 🆒 ‘Euro-Style’ makes them better. You know the Germans always make good stuff. :rolleyes: Lowe’s is selling ‘high definition’ paint. :dubious: Hey, any details in my walls are going to be irregular seams in the drywall. I don’t _want_ high-def paint! I want to cover up flaws, not bring them out! Say, how about gold? It’s an asset _you can hold in your hand!_ Well, isn’t that just handy-dander, salamander! Why not invest in a house? That’s an asset you can _live in!_ And what better time to buy, than at the top of a bubble? And don’t get me started on those ‘100% pure 24 karat gold-clad proofs’. ‘Gold-clad’ means it’s pot-metal with a microscopic shell of gold over it. OK, these adverts are fun for comedic purposes. But I hate that they think I’d fall for them. (As if they were targeting me, specifically.) Anyway, that’s my opinion and you’re welcome to it. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/2 "2010-07-18T20:22:44Z")
You should buy the Dyson fan and watch the airstream with the HD Vision sunglasses just to confirm whether or not buffeting occurs. Then use the fan to dry the HD paint on your walls. You’ll have to give up the gold to pay for it all, though. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/3 "2010-07-18T20:32:49Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Say, how about gold? It’s an asset _you can hold in your hand!_ Well, isn’t that just handy-dander, salamander! Why not invest in a house? That’s an asset you can _live in!_ You reminded me of watching the first round Auditions of Last Comic Standing, and this hilarious bit Kurt Metzger - The economy is hard. Have any of you had to sell your gold? You see those people in that commercial, they’re overjoyed. They had no idea that gold was worth money. I just got $40 to go to Six Flags and all I had to do was melt down my grandma’s stupid necklace she hid from the Nazis. I thought we were going to lose the house. But my wife said, “What about our pirate treasure?” ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/4 "2010-07-18T22:41:39Z")
I like the ads with offers that are so special and in high demand that they absolutely must dictate when you can contact them (e.g., people with last names from A to M can call today, and those from N to Z must wait until tomorrow). ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/5 "2010-07-18T23:20:52Z")
What gets me are ads I’m seeing lately about a reproduction of some valuable coin, buffalo or something like that. They talk about how rare and valuable the original coin is, and then they proudly announce that they’re selling an imitation at a very low price. Well no crap, of course the price is low. It’s not the original. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/6 "2010-07-19T04:26:04Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I like the ads with offers that are so special and in high demand that they absolutely must dictate when you can contact them (e.g., people with last names from A to M can call today, and those from N to Z must wait until tomorrow). I actually like those ones, because being in N to Z, that means I never have to call. When tomorrow comes, the same ad comes on telling me to call tomorrow, so I just keep putting it off. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/7 "2010-07-19T07:27:38Z")
How about the ones that say “call in the next ten minutes and you’ll receive…” Wow! So they have a call center that can keep track of every time and place their commercial airs, so they can tell if I’ve called within ten minutes? That’s amazing! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/8 "2010-07-19T07:38:16Z")
Another one that gets me: There’s a mattress store in this area that goes through this same stupid cycle every week. I know they’re not the only company to practice this, they’re just the one that pops to mind. The advertisements usually go something like this: Monday: We have this awesome sale going on! Unlike anything you’ve ever seen! Tuesday: You’d better get down here and take advantage of these prices, this sale is only going on for a few days! Wednesday: You haven’t come down yet? What’s the matter with you? There’s only a few days left! Thursday: If you don’t come down here **now** and buy something during our awesome sale, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Friday: Only three days left! Oh my god! What are you waiting for?! This is the awesomest sale ever! Saturday: What the fuck is wrong with you? The sale ends tomorrow! Get your ass down here!! Sunday: THIS IS IT!!! THE LAST DAY OF THE SALE! You’re blowing it! You’re the biggest loser on the planet! How can you miss this sale? Holy fucking shit! Monday: We have this _new_ awesome sale going on! Unlike anything you’ve ever seen! ---
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/9 "2010-07-19T22:31:58Z")
I’m not sure if this is a natural chain, but out on the West Coast, there is a large chain of music stores called ‘Guitar Center’ that used to advertise non-stop that they were having a sale. It became a running joke that we would actually buy someone lunch if they were able to find something in the store that hadn’t been marked down. And forgive me for asking, but considering that 100% of pawn shops have guitars as part of their inventory, who the hell would ever buy one new anyway? Same goes for timeshares and boats. As far as the ‘Cash for Gold’ thing, the ads are definitely geared towards poor idiots. Then again, there are plenty of poor idiots who 1) don’t comparison shop and 2) have managed to get crappy gaudy gold jewelry during their life and didn’t realize there was an easy way to convert it to cash. I’m always amazed that they want you to mail it in though. Even the stupidest person on the planet should be worried that they will simply say they never got your pre-paid package. And yes, Dyson is a mystery to me, since Consumer Reports consistently gives them mediocre reviews and the ‘black dot of death’ in terms of price relative to other vacuums. And maybe I’m an idiot, but I can’t even tell you what brand of vacuum I own. I’ve never had a vacuum that ‘loses suction’ unless the bag is full. I only buy new vacuums when the old one breaks. The idea of replacing a vacuum that works perfectly fine is a foreign concept to me. Then again, I’m still trying to figure out why my wife needed an expensive mixer/paperweight in our kitchen that takes up the whole fucking counter just because it says ‘KitchenAid’ on it. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/10 "2010-07-20T22:12:31Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > Another one that gets me: > > There’s a mattress store in this area that goes through this same stupid cycle every week. I know they’re not the only company to practice this, they’re just the one that pops to mind. The advertisements usually go something like this: > > Monday: We have this awesome sale going on! Unlike anything you’ve ever seen! > > Tuesday: You’d better get down here and take advantage of these prices, this sale is only going on for a few days! > > Wednesday: You haven’t come down yet? What’s the matter with you? There’s only a few days left! > > Thursday: If you don’t come down here **now** and buy something during our awesome sale, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. > > Friday: Only three days left! Oh my god! What are you waiting for?! This is the awesomest sale ever! > > Saturday: What the fuck is wrong with you? The sale ends tomorrow! Get your ass down here!! > > Sunday: THIS IS IT!!! THE LAST DAY OF THE SALE! You’re blowing it! You’re the biggest loser on the planet! How can you miss this sale? Holy fucking shit! > > Monday: We have this _new_ awesome sale going on! Unlike anything you’ve ever seen! Around here, there are a lot of car dealers. They have stupid slogans like “We’re stockin’ ‘em deeper and sellin’ 'em cheaper!” And “We’ll take _anything_ in trade! From a side of beef, to Granny’s false teeth!” They run ads a lot like the ones you are talking about, but by _Monday_, their ad is going like this: “This sale was _so popular_, it’s being held over by popular demand!” Srsly? ‘Popular demand’? Uhhhhhh. . .the mind boggles. And mattress store ads piss me off anyhow: “If you find an identical set cheaper, _anywhere_, we’ll give you an _additional_ 20% off! Plus free delivery, haul-away and set-up! Plus FREE sheets and pillows! Plus a FREE frame! All this proves that our prices _will not_ be beat!” Well, no, your prices _won’t be beat_. You know why? Because the stupid freakin’ mattress manufactures all make _slightly_ different mattresses for different mattress stores, just so they can do this kind of grating advertising! Gah. Makes me all stabby. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/11 "2010-07-21T03:22:59Z")
A question for morons. If you need blue mountains to tell if your beer is cold does that mean that you burn your hand on the stove because there’s no gimmick to tell you that the burner is hot? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/12 "2010-07-21T03:27:02Z")
My stove has red spirals where it’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/13 "2010-07-21T03:41:46Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > A question for morons. If you need blue mountains to tell if your beer is cold does that mean that you burn your hand on the stove because there’s no gimmick to tell you that the burner is hot? I was just commenting on this today. The next logical step would be to make a braille version of this for blind people. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/14 "2010-07-21T03:47:40Z")
I’m annoyed at the Grey Power auto insurance commercials than go on and on about how “If you’re over 50, and have a good driving record, you’ve _earned the right_ to pay us your money.” > [@Magiver](#): > > I was just commenting on this today. > > The next logical step would be to make a braille version of this for blind people. There’s a cold nipple joke in there somewhere, but I can’t exactly see it. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/15 "2010-07-21T03:56:44Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > My stove has red spirals where it’s hot. I wish I had a witty reply, but I keep coming up empty. > [@Magiver](#): > > I was just commenting on this today. > > The next logical step would be to make a braille version of this for blind people. When the bumps rise off of the label, you know your beer is cold. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/16 "2010-07-21T04:03:26Z")
I don’t know if this fits in anywhere, but there’s a new Subway commercial with some guy talking in a “cowboy” accent talking about “tomaters” and lettuce and all of the delicious stuff on this new sandwich. And square dancing. Not sure why but this commercial totally irks me. It’s like they are trying to appeal to…middle America? I don’t know who. But I hate that guy’s accent and how he is supposedly a cowboy talking about vegetables. And square dancing. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/17 "2010-07-21T04:42:47Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > A question for morons. If you need blue mountains to tell if your beer is cold does that mean that you burn your hand on the stove because there’s no gimmick to tell you that the burner is hot? My husband laughed and laughed when I referred to this one as “a solution in search of a problem.” (Of course, Mr. M is on pain meds right now. Everything is funnier with Oxy, apparently.) Ditto the “new and improved” beer bottles with the swirled (rifled?) interior of the neck. Who the hell ever had a problem pouring the damned beer out of the bottle? Doesn’t gravity take care of that? And do the swirls go the other direction south of the equator? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/18 "2010-07-21T05:30:54Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > I wish I had a witty reply, but I keep coming up empty. > > When the bumps rise off of the label, you know your beer is cold. Nice. Multi-layered comedy. I like it. 🙂 Is that beer cold or is it excited to see me. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/19 "2010-07-21T05:39:13Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > My husband laughed and laughed when I referred to this one as “a solution in search of a problem.” (Of course, Mr. M is on pain meds right now. Everything is funnier with Oxy, apparently.) Ditto the “new and improved” beer bottles with the swirled (rifled?) interior of the neck. Who the hell ever had a problem pouring the damned beer out of the bottle? Doesn’t gravity take care of that? And do the swirls go the other direction south of the equator? :dubious: 😃 The final problem now is too much head. What causes head? Carbonation. So, to get rid of beer head, make uncarbonated beer. Yes, brilliant! Excuse me, I have a call to Budweiser to make. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142/20 "2010-07-21T05:40:17Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Nice. Multi-layered comedy. I like it. 🙂 > > Is that beer cold or is it excited to see me. Both. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advertising-ploys/547142.md?page=2)