# Advetising gimmicks that should be punishable by death. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049 "2004-04-20T16:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/1 "2004-04-20T16:58:29Z")
I was driving into work this morning, and the radio played a commercial for a certain home improvment store. This particular commercial promised that they’ll have everything you need to “take your bathroom to the next level.” ARRRRGH! I hate that “next level” crap! Not only is “taking [something] to the next level” a horribly overused cliche, but it’s totally meaningless. How do you take a bathroom to the Next Level[sup]TM[/sup]? How do you take anything else there, for that matter? What advertizing gimmicks elicit this kind of response from you? What are the cliches, gags, recurring motifs, and other gimmicks which, if you ran the world, would never be used again? ---
**Author:** ![AV8R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@AV8R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AV8R)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/2 "2004-04-20T17:16:04Z")
The quality of this thread is _ **2nd to none!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/3 "2004-04-20T17:17:39Z")
“my-” no it’s not mine, you dicks. “ice cold” what if I like it merely cool? “piping hot” f u. I hate advertisers. This should be in the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/4 "2004-04-20T17:26:02Z")
Any use of the word “extreme” or “ultimate”. Also, whoever comes up with the Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles “Fred and Barney in the fad of the week” should be locked in a portable toilet, which would then be set on fire. ---
**Author:** ![PecanSandy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@PecanSandy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PecanSandy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/5 "2004-04-20T17:39:03Z")
The worst thing for me with radio ads is when they play the sound of a car horn honking. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Miabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@Miabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miabella)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/6 "2004-04-20T17:39:20Z")
One thing I’ve always felt should be illegal is sirens in radio commercials. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought there was an emergency vehicle approaching and it turned out to be on the radio. I think this poses a serious traffic hazard. But I guess the FCC is too busy cracking down on real dangers like Howard Stern. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/7 "2004-04-20T17:48:19Z")
I hate it when magazines send you a bill for renewal, even though you have months or even years left on your subscription. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/8 "2004-04-20T17:53:01Z")
The fake radio call-in show. It’s not amusing and nobody’s fooled. Ditto on the fake radio news story. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/9 "2004-04-20T17:53:59Z")
My pet peeve: “Think you’ll never find a (X) which (Y)? Think you have to settle for (Z)? Think Q? Think again!” Some day, I want to hear one where instead of “Think Again!” it ends with “yeah, you’re probably right”… ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/10 "2004-04-20T17:55:51Z")
> [@Miabella](#): > > One thing I’ve always felt should be illegal is sirens in radio commercials. I don’t know how many times I’ve thought there was an emergency vehicle approaching and it turned out to be on the radio. That’s just what I was going to say. There was one a while back for a brake repair place that had squealing brakes and a car crashing sound effect that was a little too realistic. Scared the crap out of me every time I heard it. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/11 "2004-04-20T18:00:53Z")
> [@PecanSandy](#): > > The worst thing for me with radio ads is when they play the sound of a car horn honking. :rolleyes: Yo. Our local radio station (yes, the town is that small) calls itself “The Bug” (trademark is a yellow New Beetle with the station’s logo all over it) and apparently has a big ad deal with a VW dealership about 60 miles away (don’t ask me why) such that they play the VW ads several times an hour. The ad ends with a loud VW horn: “BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!” Startled the crap out of me the first time I heard it. (I listen to the radio only when I’m in the car.) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/12 "2004-04-20T18:02:13Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Any use of the word “extreme” or “ultimate”. For the IT sector, and anyone else for that matter, I’ll add “solution”. Radio only: playing the sound of sirens, police whistles and/or horns in ads should be punished by strapping the offender next to [this](http://www.victorysiren.com/x/index.htm). ---
**Author:** ![maniondl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@maniondl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maniondl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/13 "2004-04-20T18:12:00Z")
"This is \ (sound of flutes, guitars, whatever) This is \ (sound of different musical instrument) Put them together and you get \ (different instrument tracks joined together, in a spritely little melody)" This was cute the first twenty three thousand times. And it’s not like this approach actually tells me anything about the product or service! :mad: Now I’m just waiting to hear it used for something like a septic tank cleaner. “This is an overfull septic tank” (tuba plays) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/14 "2004-04-20T18:12:26Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > I hate it when magazines send you a bill for renewal, even though you have months or even years left on your subscription. Heh heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/15 "2004-04-20T18:14:13Z")
I have a few that really annoy me: “\ **may** \.” - Mostly this one is for food that’s supposed to reduce the risk of cancer or heart disease. “\ is good for you **as part of this balanced breakfast**.” - Just about anything will pass if you surround it with all that other good stuff. “\ reduces **the appearance of** aging/wrinkles/etc.” - Of course it’s always phrased to sound like “It will _really_ make you young!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/16 "2004-04-20T18:24:14Z")
I’m lovin’ it, yo! ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/17 "2004-04-20T18:35:01Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > ARRRRGH! I hate that “next level” crap! Not only is “taking [something] to the next level” a horribly overused cliche, but it’s totally meaningless. How do you take a bathroom to the Next Level[sup]TM[/sup]? How do you take anything else there, for that matter? I dunno, sometimes it’s appropriate. Admittedly this wasn’t an advertisement, but once in a roleplaying game who was undead, and in the habit of eating fallen enemies. I’m not sure how, but saying that that takes hostility to the next level just felt right. (I wouldn’t have mentioned this, but you’ve got a nearly perfect view/post ratio going and I didn’t want to mess it up). ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/18 "2004-04-20T19:05:48Z")
Commercials which masquerade as news broadcasts\*. I have seen quite a few examples, but the current one is the Gieko ad where the reporter is reporting from the scene of a volcano. It’s just plausible enough for you to do a double-take if you catch it out of the corner of your eye. I guess it’s the same as radio commercials with car horns or sirens – it’s too easy to mistake it for the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/19 "2004-04-20T19:09:53Z")
LOST of commercials piss me off, and I _take it to the next level_ 😉 insofar as avoiding doing business with the worst offenders. I mean, it’s not like an organized boycott or anything and I don’t think I’m going to make a dent in these practices, but I’m not going to pay them to piss me off. Most recently, my local talk radio station has 6 or 7 different commercials for different companies that all go something like this: You are watching your children playing in the snow. You see that their faces are red with the cold, but you know that the smiles on their faces mean they’re having fun, like you did, when you were a child. You put your hand on the window and are shocked to find how cold it is. You feel the windowsill and find that it is equally cold. You know that if there is this much cold air coming into the house, there must be an equal amount of warm air escaping through these windows. You stop and wonder just how old are the windows in your home anyway? And THEN it goes on with the informative part of the commercial, the part they could have played by itself without all the BS before it. I donno, maybe it doesn’t bother other people, but when I’m bombarded with these types of commercials a couple dozen times a day, with advertisers trying to suck me into their little BS warm fuzzy world, I have to turn the radio off. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/20 "2004-04-20T19:36:54Z")
Any law firm advertisement should say in plain english “Have you been hurt? Give me a call. We’ll sue their ass off. You and I will make money!” Improvements on products that really didn’t need an improvement, i.e. those new water bottles that are “virtually unbreakable”. I don’t really remember the last time I broke a water bottle. Weight loss pills or supplements that promise you’ll lose weight guaranteed when combined with a healthy diet and regular exercise. Hell, you could lose weight eating dirt if you combine it with a healthy diet and regular exercise. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049.md?page=2)