# Advetising gimmicks that should be punishable by death. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049 "2004-04-20T16:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/101 "2004-04-22T20:26:14Z")
> [@The world's most deadliest...](#): > > The only other commercial that comes close in my book is TrimSpa or whatever the hell it is Anna Nicole Smith is hawking. The new version is slightly less ridiculous, but the original…well, just picture it: > > Anna Nicole gets out of a stretch Hummer (bad enough right there) to a crowd of adoring paparazzi and wild cheers from her fans (we’ve now entered totally ridiculous) and while she poses, primps and preens for the cameras we hear shouts from “reporters” along the lines of “How did you do it?” and "You look amazing! " Her response? “TrimSpa, baby!” and…the most meaningless comment ever…“I’m Back!” Does anyone else think she looks completely grotesque in this commercial? I agree the follow-up is not nearly as bad, but the first one makes her look absolutely bizarre, like they just crushed all her fat into her breasts and hair somehow. The drugged-out way she says “Trim-spa-babe-eeee” really makes my hair stand on end too. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/102 "2004-04-22T23:13:32Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > I’ve just about had it with the “film noir detective” knockoffs. > > _It was a dark and stormy night…suddenly a disheveled dame appeared… > “You gotta help me Mac, I haven’t slept in weeks!” > “You must be suffering from a too-firm mattress, toots! Let me tell you about the SuperSnooz SleepSystem!”_ > > _GROAN_ SO LAME!!! > > Radio ads do this the most, but TV ads are guilty on occasion as well. GEICO currently has one running that is completely retarded. Saw one yesterday with an allergy medicine. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/103 "2004-04-22T23:37:25Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > I’ve just about had it with the “film noir detective” knockoffs. > > Radio ads do this the most, but TV ads are guilty on occasion as well. GEICO currently has one running that is completely retarded. That reminds me of one that I hate. The concept was cute once, maybe, but that was long ago. Now it makes me want to kill: :mad: **AFLAC!!!** ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/104 "2004-04-22T23:52:46Z")
An earlier post reminded me of another I hate: “Blahblah, buy this. Hi! I’m \! Blahblah, buy this.” If you’re going to introduce yourself, do that _first_, dammit! Don’t do it in the middle! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/105 "2004-04-23T00:01:36Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Another lame gimmick: those DirecTV ads where a famous actor reads a customer letter. I guess that’s not so bad, but what’s really irritating is the “ad-lib” segment after the letter has been read, where the crew filming the commercial breaks out into applause and hysterical laughter at the painfully unfunny “quips” that the actors make. > > The worst offender is Joan Cusak weighing the words “wow…great” while everyone hoots with laughter. Gimme a break. Those commercials would work a LOT better if the letters began this way: "Dear DirecTV. I am a student at a small Midwestern college, and I never thought this would happen to me … " ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/106 "2004-04-23T00:41:31Z")
I would welcome a wide ban on any national car ad that shows people driving recklessly. I’d reference one, but there are far too many to mention. Oh, wait…the worst offender had to be the one with the gorgeous young woman driving at top speed through the narrow streets of a (european?) village. Her careening death ride is finally halted when she skids sideways to avoid hitting a mirror. Then she admires the reflection of her irresponsible self in her luxury car. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/107 "2004-04-23T01:49:12Z")
> [@The world's most deadliest...](#): > > At first, I thought they were kinda funny in a creepy way. But now, I have to think - if I was a guy I’d feel like these commercials were screaming “YOUR DICK DOESN’T WORK RIGHT! FIX IT!!!” Hell, I’m female and after seeing those commercials I feel like my unit is subpar - until I realize I have no unit. With the advent of commercials for “male enhancement products,” I think I finally understand how women feel about commercials for feminine hygene stuff. Sorta like :o + :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/108 "2004-04-23T01:50:47Z")
There’s always an active peeve of mine being used in current advertisement. Many have already been mentioned, but there have been a few others that have not yet. Like: - Car ads with people dancing in their seats to trance/electronica. I am sick of seeing people dancing in their seats. These have gone pretty much by the wayside now that producers aren’t afraid to pay people to actually speak in their commercials. But back when SAG was on strike, this was a big one… and I hated it. - Rock and roll hits being used in advertisements. I grew up with these tunes, dammit… and I certainly don’t want to be forced to associate Led Zeppelin with Cadillac. Kee-rist… when I was in college, Zeppelin was the default tuneage for pot smoking and acid tripping… - Zoom zoom. Get outta here, kid, you’re a dork, and are guaranteed to get beat up and buggered by your mates on the recess pitch. Why are you qualified to pitch autos? - The robitussin kid. Go drink an entire bottle and then run and hide from the hallucinations! OKay, how about any cute kid who was casted just for the sake of its cuteness. Bleargh! There are a few commercials I like (anything for Pantene, for instance), but they don’t make up for the sheer quantity of the ones I can’t stand. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/109 "2004-04-23T06:55:32Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > **Sampiro** , the Robert Vaughn personal injury lawyer commercials are syndicated and bought by local firms around the country…Florence Henderson does a similar commercial for carpet retailers. Around here, it’s Carpet One that uses it. I’ve seen Jimmy “JJ” Walker ads that were also very obviously “your name here” advertisements. Jimmy (who is now fat, which is so odd considering what a toothpick he was on _Good Times_) leads in with “You ain’t gwine believe dese grocery prices!” or something equally minstrel-esque (it reminds you of why John Amos and Esther Rolle left the show in protest), then the ad for the local grocery store specials, then return to Jimmy saying, you guessed it, “Dy-no-mite!” The worst part is it’s on a really cheap videotape. I’ve literally seen the Robert Vaughn ads in Macon, GA, Atlanta GA, Montgomery AL, B’ham AL, & Charleston SC, always for a different law firm. I hope he’s raking it in because I hate to think he’s destroying his career (what there is of it) for nothing. Of course Jim Varney made millions doing his Ernest ads for a few thousand per and shooting a dozen or more in a day long before the Ernest movies made him richer still. I understand that he came to hate the Ernest character for the same reason Yul Brynner hated the King- it made him rich, but nobody wanted to see him do anything else. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/110 "2004-04-23T12:10:29Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Please, anybody who pimps their children in their advertising, just all go straight to hell. Amen to this. We’ve got a car dealership running ads with twin pre-teen girls singing Daddy’s praises. One ended with one sister asking “Are you sure Mary Kate and Ashley started like this?” :rolleyes: There was another series for an oriental rug company that has since gone out of business. Both the son and the daughter were extolling the virtues of the hand made rugs and the furniture and decorator items. Their ads convinced me never to patronize the place - maybe that’s why they’re all gone now. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/111 "2004-04-24T17:37:24Z")
Girl thinks Guy is checking her out but he’s really only interested in Product. Done to fucking death, ad execs. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/112 "2004-04-24T18:28:29Z")
Several Mentos ads used to irritate, but none more than the man who won’t move his car so that an attractive young lady can park behind him (just points at his watch apologetically) then runs upstairs and watches amused through the window while the lady has four bodybuilders move her car into space. Alright, you didn’t have time to reposition your car like a decent human being because you were in a hurry to get to your office… where you have time to look out the window… I hope that woman gives each of the bodybuilders six packs of Mentos to go up to that office and make you their squealin’ little piggy boy while the security guard looks on pointing apologetically at his watch. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/113 "2004-04-25T07:08:26Z")
Of course [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) has some pricelessly annoying visual ads, a perfect example being this not quite thought out ad for the Harry Potter [Nimbus 2000 tie-in.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005NEBW/104-2606866-4018362?v=glance&s=toys&me=A3UN6WX5RRO2AG&vi=pictures&img=14#more-pictures) ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/114 "2004-04-25T07:12:01Z")
I’m sure you will all be pleased to know that Gallagher (yeah, the watermelon guy) has been spotted doing commerials for auto title loan companies. Incredibly cheesy ones, too. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/115 "2004-04-25T15:47:34Z")
I don’t think anyone has mentioned this type of advert so maybe they aren’t ‘popular’ in the U.S (or maybe I missed a post) but these really piss me off: Ads for beauty products that use made up, vaguely scientific sounding words to hawk there wears. ‘Oil of Olay now contains Boswelox to help you look younger without the need for surgery’ - so you made up a word that sounds a bit like ‘Botox’ then did you? Turd burglars. ‘New Pantene now with Elastesse’ - This was formerly called ‘Bendy Holdy Stuff’ in an identical advert but they must of realised it wasn’t ‘sciencey’ enough so it becomes ‘Elastesse’ instead. Twats. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/116 "2004-04-25T17:12:33Z")
There is a local radio ad here for a Chevrolet dealership. It starts off with the owner’s sappy-cutesy sounding children telling us to buy our cars and trucks from their daddy’s “shev-i-lay” dealership. The use of the annoying kids is bad enough. The fact that they can’t pronounce the name of the product is even worse (but hey, they’re cute kids, right?). But then the father, the _owner_ of the dealership, comes on and can’t pronounce “Chevrolet” correctly either. Not that I am likely to ever buy a Chevy in the first place, but it will definitely not be from this man. On the subject of local car ads, I also hate it when they tell you that during the current sale, “no reasonable offer will be refused!” Do they generally go around refusing reasonable offers? “I’m sorry Sir, that’s a very reasonable offer, but we were really hoping you would give us an insane amount of money. Please take your business to another dealership.” ---
**Author:** ![eman77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@eman77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eman77)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/117 "2004-04-25T18:11:20Z")
There was an infomercial a couple years ago for some snoring medicine of some sort. It starts off with these absolutley fake dramatizations of the woman waking up to the man snoring and how they can’t get any sleep. After about 30 seconds of this an old man goes down some stairs and suddenly says “Snoring can even ruin a romantic cruise, Hi, my names Bob Parker and I would like you to buy Snore-X.” Even if a romantic cruise had the tiniest fucking thing to do with this product, why would you even say this right away before introducing yourself? Do you think this will give us some subliminal message to make us buy your product? The first time it made me laugh, the next 300 times it made me cringe. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049/118 "2004-04-25T18:49:02Z")
The shoe ads with the talking head spokesmodel. Wouldn’t it make more sense to show your on-camera spokesmodel actually wearing the shoes she’s advertising. I assume they don’t show her wearing the shoes because, based on the head and shoulders anyway, she appears to be a somewhat heavy person, and the shoes might not be as attractive on her as the company would like. The obvious solution, to me anyway, would be to hire someone who actually did look good in the shoes to model them, or just have the talking head be just a voiceover. The way it is now, it makes about as much sense as advertising tooth-whitening by showing someone’s feet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advetising-gimmicks-that-should-be-punishable-by-death/241049.md?page=5)