# Advice about contacting people from your past. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306 "2003-03-18T16:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/1 "2003-03-18T16:46:42Z")
I need some opinions here. I’ve been considering writing an old girlfriend of my dad’s. I am 30 now, and the last time I saw her was at my grandmother’s funeral when I was 18. She and my dad were together for 5 years or so, she had a young son, and they split up when I was about 9 or so. I really loved her a lot and we were very close. I was raised by my paternal grandparents and called my grandmother Mom, but I always looked at J as a mom, although she never knew that. I have her parent’s address, but other than that, I don’t know how or where to reach her. Do you think this is a good idea? I am sure she would love to hear from me, and I’d love to see her son again. He and I were like brother and sister for 5 years. Family trips and all. I’m not looking for anything and if she decided she didn’t want to see me again, I would accept that. Should I just write her a letter and mail it to her parent’s place? Should I write her parents a letter and have them tell her? Help, please!! ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/2 "2003-03-18T16:57:28Z")
If you know it will be received well, I say go for it! If there’s one thing I’ve learned in moving around a lot it’s that keeping in touch is important – even if you can’t do it regularly. It’s always nice to know you’re being thought of, and sometimes a surprise greeting can come at just the right time in our lives. I’d suggest writing her a letter directly, sealing it in an envelope with just her name and appropriate postage, and then inserting that in a larger envelope addressed to her parents. Write them a cordial letter explaining that you would greatly appreciate if they could address the letter for you and forward it to her current location. That should do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/3 "2003-03-18T16:59:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lady Venom \* > **Should I just write her a letter and mail it to her parent’s place?** That sounds like a good idea to me. You left each other on good terms, so I don’t see any problem. You are already bracing yourself for no reply or for a negative response. I’m guessing it will be a positive experience. Hope it turns out well. ---
**Author:** ![Sunglasses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@Sunglasses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunglasses)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/4 "2003-03-18T17:05:33Z")
As someone who dated a man for several years with two children that I adored, I say go for it. I’d be tickled pink to hear from those two (now adult) girls. I’m sure “Mom” will feel the same way. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Lorenzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4da419/32.png) [@Lorenzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorenzo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/5 "2003-03-18T20:28:04Z")
Sounds like a good plan with very good odds. I have this habit of occasionally trying to contact long lost old friends. The worst so far has been a few no responses and a few unable to contacts. Usually, though, it’s been very fruitful, leading to meaningful communication. And most of these were real longshots compared to what you have proposed. I say go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Venom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Lady\_Venom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Venom)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/6 "2003-03-19T13:28:57Z")
Well, I am taking your advice dopers. I wrote her a little letter last night, nothing huge. Just to let her know that I do think about her and her son and that I am wondering how they’re doing. Thanks for the advice, I’ll keep you all posted. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-about-contacting-people-from-your-past/162306/7 "2003-03-20T05:03:11Z")
🙂 Just dropped into the thread after the first wave of suspense is over (you’ve decided to go for it) but I was going to advise doing so. Best wishes!