# Advice For Evil Overlord's **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2002, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420 "2002-09-07T10:16:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/1 "2002-09-07T10:16:59Z")
If you haven’t seen [Peter’s Evil Overlord List](http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html), it’s a collection of things one should **not** do if they’re planning on being an evil overlord. Sadly, however, Peter hasn’t updated his list in quite some time. So, I was thinking that since we’ve got some of the brightest minds on the planet here (or at least one’s that think they are), what better group to come up with more suggestions of what not to do? For starters, I wouldn’t keep back up copies of my clone in the same location. Secondly, I wouldn’t hang out in trendy bars that the hero’s likely to show up in. Third, if I develop some fiendish weapon in which I plan on using to wipe out multiple cities, I won’t have a wildly elaborate method for putting it in to use. ---
**Author:** ![Snugglebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snugglebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snugglebear)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/2 "2002-09-07T10:23:41Z")
I wouldn’t show up to a secret world domination meeting in my sleeping bag. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/3 "2002-09-07T11:22:46Z")
Never, NEVER dress all in black. Plain street clothes will do just fine. Don’t go trashing cities that are known to be infected with goody-goody superheroes. Don’t post a list of DOs and DON’Ts on the Internet where goody-goody superheroes can find it (yeah, we know what you’re up to **Tucker** ). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/4 "2002-09-07T13:01:49Z")
Go here---- [http://www.villainsupply.com/](http://www.villainsupply.com/) Great Femme Fatale dating service, & just _look_ at those bargans on secret bases. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/5 "2002-09-07T23:11:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Never, NEVER dress all in black. Plain street clothes will do just fine. > > Don’t go trashing cities that are known to be infected with goody-goody superheroes. > > Don’t post a list of DOs and DON’Ts on the Internet where goody-goody superheroes can find it (yeah, we know what you’re up to **Tucker** ). \*\* **Blam!** No, you don’t. > [@](#): > > _from the Evil Overlord List_ > 7. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say “No.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/6 "2002-09-07T23:51:49Z")
Ha! [Our snakehead/goldfish are coming for you](http://startrek.com/library/xeno.asp?ID=70610/) Swimming the Mississippi even as we speak! Note the tie; disquised as that Tucker guy they will sneak into your…no, you won’t trick me into revealing our plans! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/7 "2002-09-08T00:21:16Z")
I think you mean this guy: [http://startrek.com/library/xeno.asp?ID=70610](http://startrek.com/library/xeno.asp?ID=70610) I’m personally riding one of these: [http://groups.msn.com/TheForce/godzillaarchive.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=403](http://groups.msn.com/TheForce/godzillaarchive.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=403) (except with more arms…) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/8 "2002-09-08T00:29:11Z")
Way ahead of you. [http://jmspoofe.tripod.com/Archive/evil\_overlord2.htm](http://jmspoofe.tripod.com/Archive/evil_overlord2.htm) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/9 "2002-09-08T00:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*I think you mean this guy: \*\* Best advice: A capable second in command! You shall have two, Tars, pulling your victorious chariot as we grind the villains beneath our… Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/10 "2002-09-08T05:11:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Way ahead of you. > > [http://jmspoofe.tripod.com/Archive/evil\_overlord2.htm](http://jmspoofe.tripod.com/Archive/evil_overlord2.htm) \*\* Join me **SPOOFE** , and together we’ll show this overgrown Venus-flytrap and [walking stick](http://www.pma.edmonton.ab.ca/natural/insects/projects/_images/indstck.jpg) what World Domination[sup]TM[/sup] really means! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/11 "2002-09-08T06:34:18Z")
I’m not joining you! _You_ join _me_! Yeesh. I’m ten times the evil overlord that you’ll ever be. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/12 "2002-09-08T06:48:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*I’m not joining you! _You_ join _me_! > > Yeesh. I’m ten times the evil overlord that you’ll ever be. \*\* If you’re willing to give me NASA and an annual budget of at least $1 trillion once we take over the world, you’ve got yourself a deal. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/13 "2002-09-08T08:20:39Z")
A paltry $1 trillion? Hell, buckaroo, I’ll make it two, and even throw in a side order of chili cheese fries… on the condition that you have my armada of battlecruisers ready for galactic conquest inside of two decades. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/14 "2002-09-08T16:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*A paltry $1 trillion? Hell, buckaroo, I’ll make it two, and even throw in a side order of chili cheese fries… on the condition that you have my armada of battlecruisers ready for galactic conquest inside of two decades. \*\* Hmm. Could be tricky, but I think I could pull it off provided I didn’t have to spend any of it on weapons development. Deal! Large triangular battlecruisers okay with you? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/15 "2002-09-08T19:36:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Hmm. Could be tricky, but I think I could pull it off provided I didn’t have to spend any of it on weapons development. Deal! Large triangular battlecruisers okay with you? \*\* Hah! I’ve seen this one before: And then some wack television station engineer with an Apple Powerbook deciphers your number base system, rewrites the STONED virus in it, compiles it, uploads it to your main computer, then commands his rapper astronaut wanna-be excuse for a pilot to fire two roman candles at your docking bay manager’s office and hightails it back to safety. Betchya don’t have that one on your resume, do ya? \ See, this is what you get for dealing with brash upstarts without checking their references first. Mom sez you have to play nice with your little evil overlord friends or you can’t have them over any more. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/16 "2002-09-08T19:53:45Z")
Chili Cheese Fries? Is that fair? Come on now. You’re not an Evil Overlord, you’re a short order cook! (Memo to self: What are Chili Cheese Fries?) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/17 "2002-09-08T20:58:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Chili Cheese Fries? > Is that fair? > Come on now. > You’re not an Evil Overlord, you’re a short order cook! > > (Memo to self: What are Chili Cheese Fries?) \*\* Have you **never** been to Krystal? Never gotten hungry during a late night World Domination[sup]TM[/sup] planning session and had to go out for something to eat? What kind of Evil Overlord are you? One that keeps 9-5 hours? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/18 "2002-09-08T21:09:47Z")
I like this place: [http://evil-guide.tripod.com/](http://evil-guide.tripod.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/19 "2002-09-08T21:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Hah! I’ve seen this one before: And then some wack television station engineer with an Apple Powerbook deciphers your number base system, rewrites the STONED virus in it, compiles it, uploads it to your main computer, then commands his rapper astronaut wanna-be excuse for a pilot to fire two roman candles at your docking bay manager’s office and hightails it back to safety. Betchya don’t have that one on your resume, do ya? > > \ See, this is what you get for dealing with brash upstarts without checking their references first. Mom sez you have to play nice with your little evil overlord friends or you can’t have them over any more. \*\* Oh, I don’t think that’s ever been a problem with [this](http://www.stardestroyer.net/tlc/Characteristics/astrmdlblt.jpg) design. Do intend to do some work changing the steering controls on these things, however. What good is a giant starship if it handles like a cow? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/20 "2002-09-08T22:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*I like this place: > > [http://evil-guide.tripod.com/](http://evil-guide.tripod.com/) \*\* Not so good. After all, when he listed Henchmen, he didn’t cover the essential “Femme Fatale” catagory. They act as lieutenants, seconds-in-command, assassins, spies, and occasionally mad scientists, Laboratory Assistants, or Occult Acolytes. Also, they are your Main Squeeze. All the way around, a good choice. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420.md?page=2)