# Advice For Evil Overlord's **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2002, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420 "2002-09-07T10:16:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/61 "2002-09-13T00:27:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, it looks like somebody, not naming any names, is experiencing a little death-ray envy. Heh, heh. I’ve got this thing that’s the size of a Federation shuttlecraft, but the firepower is awesome. And it’s more manuverable too. Dude, you do NOT want to go comparing starships with me. I’ll whip out my personal Pimpship, a vessel a few hundred meters long and equipped with all the highest-tech gadgets… including a pocket universe generator, which removes it from this universe and deposits it in its own little dimension. And it’s stocked with the hottest, sexiest, nakedest women you’ll find anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/62 "2002-09-13T01:53:47Z")
Let’s you and him fight. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/63 "2002-09-13T03:58:20Z")
**carnivorousplant** , considering the subtext of the argument between the potential combatants, yours is the most evil suggestion yet. Kudos! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/64 "2002-09-13T04:08:19Z")
I’ll ready the pit laced with Acid Rancors, and Glorp is boiling the hot oil and the monkey semen. Two enter one leaves!! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/65 "2002-09-13T17:08:08Z")
Monkey se…? ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/66 "2002-09-13T17:33:30Z")
Tars, umm, that’s just too evil. I mean, there’s **bad** , and there’s boiling monkey semen. Ask yourself this, would I, Tars Tarkas want to get into a pit full of boiling monkey semen? If the answer is yes, then you take my place. Go ahead. As for you Spoofe, meet me in the Los Angeles River bed at noon. We’re fighting for pinks! ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/67 "2002-09-14T17:36:21Z")
If you’re going to grind/shred/saw in half your arch-enemy, place him DIRECTLY into the machine and, no matter how gruesome it is or how badly you need to be somewhere else, watch the whole thing until he is dead, dead, dead. DO NOT place him at the infeed-end of a 100’ conveyor that runs 10ft./min. and decide you’re late for brunch with the boys. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420/68 "2002-09-14T19:02:24Z")
Oh, come on. Barbara Bush doesn’t know what oral sex\* is\*. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-for-evil-overlords/127420.md?page=3)