# Advice needed (Adult - TMI)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-needed-adult-tmi/53044>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 3, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-needed-adult-tmi/53044 "2001-02-03T20:15:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\
**Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-needed-adult-tmi/53044/21 "2001-02-06T03:51:53Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \*  
> Oh, I don’t know about that…
> 
> If she does have intimacy problems, you’re suggesting it’s best to just drop her? The best way I can think of her “growing out of it” is to be shown what “sex and relationships” are by someone who really cares about her and who she cares about. \*\*

Well, if he’s up to the job and wants it, that’s one thing – but I don’t think he should feel _obligated_ to help her through her problems. If he’s not ready to handle that sort of thing, they’ll both end up getting hurt. In any case, somebody who hasn’t really worked out whether or not she wants to have sex – _or_ how to communicate her preferences to her partner – is probably better off with some alone-time. And it doesn’t sound as if they’re in a serious, committed relationship yet. If anything, I get the impression that she’s having doubts about whether she wants to be in a relationship at all.

So yes, I think it’s a good idea to keep things on a friendly-hanging-out level if they haven’t gone too far for that, and no, I’m not suggesting that he should drop her in a never-talk-to-her-again way. Sorry if that wasn’t entirely clear.

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**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\
**Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-needed-adult-tmi/53044/22 "2001-02-06T04:46:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Sapphire Bullet_  
> \*\*aw crap
> 
> that wasnt rob, and neither is this- it’s sapphire bullet
> 
> grrrrrr.
> 
> \*\*

[hijack]Forgot to log out didn’t I. Damn. Sorry.[/hijack]

Back to the OP. Having some experience with what you talk about here, just remember not to voice any blame at all. She prolly feel’s guilty as all get out, so you need to make sure that she understand, even if you have to take the ‘blame’ for what happened.

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