The casually elegant thing is a sort of snarky way of your host telling you that he wants you to look really good and as if that isn’t enough he also wants you to pretend that you always look that good because it’s just not cool if you have to work at it.
Men generally should wear slacks, a sports coat and a shirt with a collar to these occasions. Under no circumstances should your slacks be made of the same fabric as your jacket. I’ve always preferred a lightweight polo shirt to a button down shirt when dressing my men for casually elegant.
thanks for all the replies!
especially thanks since I had such trouble finding my own original post.
For completeness, this is a fundraiserfor the local Symphony Society. Cocktails and Dinner at one house, pianist at another house. I am moving up in the world (or more likely the fundraising efforts are moving down the chain…).
My wife and I got a similarly worded invitation to an upcoming wedding (“Elegant Attire”), and, knowing our friends as we do, had to call the groom up and say “Do you want me to dress like James Bond at the Casino in Monte Carlo, or do you just mean don’t show up in Jeans and a T-shirt with a Far Side cartoon on it?”
His response was basically what’s been suggested in this thread- suit jacket/blazer, collared shirt, and ideally not jeans, no matter how expensive they are.
