# Advice on Proposing **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124 "2006-04-03T19:29:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/1 "2006-04-03T19:29:56Z")
OK, so I have the ring and tonight is her birthday and we are going to a very nice restaurant. I thought this would be the perfect time to ask. But then some friends and co-workers and such are saying, “Don’t ask her on her birthday!”. I am not sur ewhat the logic is except that she won’t want to have the two things happen on the same day, it’s cheating her of it, etc. BTW, it is a foregone conclusion she will say yes. I know ultimately it is a personal decision, but does anyone else think that it is a bad idea to ask on her birthday? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/2 "2006-04-03T19:37:12Z")
Well, she’s your girlfriend, not your friends’. (I hope-hope-hope that punctuation is correct). What business is it of theirs? Is your girlfriend the type who would like each event to be separately recognized? Do you recognize events seperately as a couple? Or is she more concerned that it just happen, and not so much when? Basically, if you think it’ll bother her forever, don’t ask. If you don’t, then by all means. If you don’t know…well, you should know, or maybe you shouldn’t be asking her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/3 "2006-04-03T19:47:19Z")
I’ll think it’s a lovely idea. **cher3** , who was proposed to on her 21st birthday, at the restaurant of the Ritz Carlton, in Boston. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/4 "2006-04-03T19:50:22Z")
Researchers have found that there is a perfect day for proposing. No one ever says no and the marriage will last forever… April 2nd. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/5 "2006-04-03T19:52:35Z")
I proposed to my wife on her 25th birthday (on bended knee, when we were back home after a nice dinner out) and she immediately accepted. She didn’t mind in the least having the question popped on her birthday. Good luck, and may both you and your intended have a warm and loving marriage ahead of you! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/6 "2006-04-03T19:55:14Z")
Ultimate solution: Keep her out til Midnight. At 12:01, pop the question. Midnight = romance, birthday, but not really…and proposal. Perfect. ---
**Author:** ![scott62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@scott62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott62)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/7 "2006-04-03T19:58:17Z")
I proposed to my wife in Gretna Green when I was best man for my mate. I did the whole thing, bended knee, held her hand and looked deep into her eyes. Hooray she said yes!! I even went so far as to ask her dad’s permission. He was cool and now we’ve got two kids a dog and a cat. The perfect nuclear family. Good luck, you won’t regret it - apart from the cost of the wedding that is!!! ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/8 "2006-04-03T19:58:46Z")
> [@Gangster Octopus](#): > > BTW, it is a foregone conclusion she will say yes. Uh huh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/9 "2006-04-03T20:02:06Z")
> [@scott62](#): > > I proposed to my wife in Gretna Green when I was best man for my mate. I did the whole thing, bended knee, held her hand and looked deep into her eyes. Hooray she said yes!! I even went so far as to ask her dad’s permission. He was cool and now we’ve got two kids a dog and a cat. The perfect nuclear family. > > Good luck, you won’t regret it - apart from the cost of the wedding that is!!! +1. I have no idea if the birthday issue matters - never heard of that one. One thing I learned by getting it wrong is that, even when you know a Yes is a foregone conclusion, do things the “official” way - down on one knee, very formal and loving. If you have anyway of checking with her dad beforehand - even if they know it is a foregone conclusion, too - you absolutely should. Have a rose for her - the whole bit. You only get to do this once (hopefully!) and there is something to be said for getting the details right. Wonderful news and congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/10 "2006-04-03T20:02:06Z")
Does she like to celebrate each separate anniversary (like the Day We Met, the Day We First Kissed, the Day You Met My Parents, the Day You Farted In Front Of Me For the First Time … )? If not, then today’s the day. Half the people I know got engaged on their birthdays (well, half the _married women_ I know, if we want to get specific). It makes the day _that much more_ special. Good luck–and you know we’ll all be checking tomorrow morning, so don’t forget to update us! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/11 "2006-04-03T20:09:55Z")
Absolutely on her birthday. Take **Kalhoun’s** suggestion and propose at the end of a perfect evening. In front of LOTS of people. [Thousands](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4884908&postcount=40), if you can manage it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/12 "2006-04-03T20:15:25Z")
I think her birthday is a great time to propose. I don’t remember the exact date when I got engaged. It was a Thursday in September of 1999, but I don’t remember which one. I think if my husband had proposed on my birthday, it would have made it all the more memorable. Plus, there’s no way I’d have forgotten the date. Good luck tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/13 "2006-04-03T20:18:51Z")
I have lots of advice for you. Of course, it’s all _bad_ advice … ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/14 "2006-04-03T20:23:19Z")
I don’t remember the date I got engaged because we only celebrate our wedding anniversary. So unless, as **Draelin** said, you think she’ll want to celebrate both, I say go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/15 "2006-04-03T20:30:24Z")
OK, thanks! It’s on tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/16 "2006-04-03T20:52:27Z")
Good. Keep us posted. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/17 "2006-04-03T21:00:12Z")
I have to admit, my first thought without reading your post in its entirety was “first of all, don’t ask her on her birthday”. My reason being that it is it’s own special moment. I don’t think people even celebrate the anniversary of their engagement date (do they?), so it’s not that I’m thinking she’ll prefer to celebrate the two dates seperately. I’ve just always seen it as sort of coming across like the ring, and the proposal for that matter, are some kind of “gift” to her, when what you’re really doing is asking _her_for the gift of her hand in marriage. But I’m an old spinster, so what do I know? It looks like you’ve made up your mind, so I only have the very best wishes for you and she both 🙂 Don’t forget to report back all the juicy details! ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/18 "2006-04-03T22:59:35Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Don’t forget to report back all the juicy details! Yes, please do, inquiring minds want to know. But don’t feel this has to go all the way to the honeymoon. Some things are best left private. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/19 "2006-04-03T23:13:50Z")
I proposed to Deb on her birthday. (I figured it made a nice birthday present.) I didn’t do any “bended knee” nonsense, but she was not expecting the proposal or the fact that I had had a ring custom made to (the rather vague) description she had given me of an “ideal” ring some months earlier, so I never caught any grief about not kneeling down in the middle of a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124/20 "2006-04-03T23:18:19Z")
I was proposed to on my birthday and loved it!! He took me out for a romantic stroll to a local nursery that was all lit up for Christmas. It was the most perfect night of my life and I’ll never forget it. In case I wasn’t clear enough…I say go for it!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-on-proposing/351124.md?page=2)