Not to advise you on your parenting choices (most certainly not my area of expertise) but you may want to have him re-evaluated. That sounds more like a learning disability or other reason for low performance rather than any siginficant degree of ASD behavior.
And getting back to the original question, if your son is more than marginally functional, he can probably aspire to some role within law enforcement even if he is not a police officer. Police departments need data entry clerks, fitness trainers, librarians and records clerks, and other administrative and support services just like any other large organization. It may not be as sexy as patrolling around in a prowler, but honestly, once you’ve done a few dozen shifts the appeal of playing “Adam 12” is significantly diminished, and you come to realize that it’s just a job, except one requiring you to roust drunks, write citations, and break up domestic tiffs. So, really, it’s like the worst combination of bouncer, teacher, and marriage counselor all wrapped up in one job. Plus, the uniforms are really uncomforable, especially when you have seventy-eleven pounds of crap handing off your duty belt.
The above link may provide some insight as to where I “get this from”.
Many professionals do not believe that all Autism and Aspergers syndrome patients are gifted. However many other professionals believe that all have a gift of some kind and it is us that lack the skills to find them. But yes there are links to what I call gifts. It is a highly controversial topic.
Assuming your son is not capable, I would investigate some alternatives for him and try explaining to him why he will not make it as a cop. I would also talk to someone at an academy to see if you could procure some tests, or have someone visit your son.
Is he willing to lie on his pre-employment paperwork? Can he sit in front of a clinical psychologist for a lengthy interview and appear to be someone without autism? And of course lie to that same psychologist. There isn’t one standard across the country for medical disqualifications to become a police officer. But I find it hard to believe there would be any that would medically accept a “medium level” autistic candidate.
So maybe you should find out if it is even possible in your area. You are not crushing his dreams if there is no way for it to become a reality. Any more than when I told my 12 year old stepson that the NFL was not a realistic goal and not a reason to stop doing any homework. Guess what? He’s now 24 and not in the NFL. But he is wishing he did his schoolwork.
If he is submissive and shrinks from pressure I would not suggest being a 911 operator. Think of a mother calling in a panic about her baby that is not breathing. The dispatcher has to verbally force themselves through the panic and get the caller to perform CPR as instructed. While simultaneously dispatching police, EMS and paramedics. It is a very difficult job that requires someone who can handle pressure. Sure a lot of it is routine. But when it isn’t you need the right kind of person in that job.
I don’t think you understand that site. It’s *possible *to have an ASD and be gifted, and that’s what the website you linked to is talking about, twice exceptionality. A fair number of people with various neurodevelopmental disabilities also have IQs in the gifted range. But a whole hell of a lot don’t, either. At least 25% of people on the autism spectrum have an intellectual disability, and that’s higher by far than those who are gifted.
And Shakes, I agree with people who have said it’s not your job to crush his dreams. I think it’d hurt him more if you try to explain his dream is not possible than to let the cards fall where they may. Sure, we know that it’s unlikely he’ll become a cop, but he doesn’t need to feel the weight of your doubt too, plenty of other people will offer that to him freely.
There are ways to help him reach the conclusion for himself. You don’t have to announce it can’t be done. They can research the question together and see what the result is. Being a father is not a passive role. There are ways to do it without being the heavy. But encouraging him to keep pursuing an unrealistic goal so he can be crushed later after years of fruitless effort isn’t doing the kid any favors either.