# Advice sought about my cleaning lady re COVID **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2020, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113 "2020-03-23T19:07:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2020, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/21 "2020-03-24T18:37:35Z")
My mother’s aide/cleaning lady/cook is very pregnant and was kind of stretching the last weeks before being replaced by her niece. Mom has paid her in advance for the work she would have done during the two weeks the lockdown was originally announced; they’ll be paid “as if” for the whole duration. Mom’s shopping is being done by one of my brothers. Most of her house can simply be kept shut and she always has a ton of half-cooked things such as stock that she can pull out and use. In Spain the RCC and Iglesia Evangélica (it’s a locally-grown one, not the American ones, although we have some of these as well) have closed down services; I think everybody has, really, it’s only that those are the ones I know about. Mass is usually televised by the equivalent of PBS on Sundays; there is a chain which is owned by the RCC (well, by a Foundation, but…) and it’s offering Mass daily. 11am most days, noon on Sundays. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2020, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/22 "2020-03-24T19:07:51Z")
I’m in the same situation as ThelmaLou except: I’m 63 and at higher risk due to lupus. I’m visually impaired and can’t see most dirt. During lupus flares, I can’t clean. My cleaning lady is 60, healthy, and cleans only one other place (that of a retired nurse’ who’s self-quarantined 2 weeks and is germ-phobic–immaculate apartment), and is otherwise self-isolating. She does not go to church, visit her grandchildren, or shop. (Her son leaves groceries on her doorstep.)She washes her hands very frequently and disinfects after herself. I do NOT want to endanger her, myself, or others. I would pay her not to come. But I think we’re talking many months of this, not just a few weeks, and I’m having a hard time imagining how filthy this place will get. Also, she is going to want to come and clean anyway because she likes it. (Her only oddity, I swear.) **ThelmaLou** , sorry if I’m jacking the thread. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2020, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/23 "2020-03-24T19:22:37Z")
Ours has already sent notice that due to COVID they were temporarily halting services. They come to our home monthly and we will pay them for April and re-evaluate where we are at in May. By that I mean, evaluate if there is still significant risk and if there is we’ll pay them again for May. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/24 "2020-03-24T19:26:33Z")
My barn cancelled riding lessons for the next two weeks (I expect that to go on for a while). They cancelled, not me. My riding instructor doesn’t have a lot of money. I’ve been trying to decide if I should offer to pay her, but frankly, $65 for a 30 minute lesson is my big splurge for the week, and I’ve lost 40% of my 401k in the last month. I’ve paid ahead for a few lessons, but should I offer to pay ahead for more? Just pay her anyway? StG ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2020, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/25 "2020-03-24T20:06:25Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > I’m in the same situation as ThelmaLou except: > > I’m 63 and at higher risk due to lupus. > I’m visually impaired and can’t see most dirt. > During lupus flares, I can’t clean. > My cleaning lady is 60, healthy, and cleans only one other place (that of a retired nurse’ who’s self-quarantined 2 weeks and is germ-phobic–immaculate apartment), and is otherwise self-isolating. She does not go to church, visit her grandchildren, or shop. (Her son leaves groceries on her doorstep.)She washes her hands very frequently and disinfects after herself. > > I do NOT want to endanger her, myself, or others. I would pay her not to come. But I think we’re talking many months of this, not just a few weeks, and I’m having a hard time imagining how filthy this place will get. Also, she is going to want to come and clean anyway because she likes it. (Her only oddity, I swear.) > > **ThelmaLou** , sorry if I’m jacking the thread. ☹ Not at all, **nelliebly**.\* I’m interested in other people’s experiences, too. She sounds like someone whose isolation standards are up to yours. I think I would have her keep coming. Maybe cut back to once a month? \*You’re one of my faves. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![justanothermike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c2a13f/32.png) [@justanothermike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justanothermike)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/26 "2020-03-25T00:11:21Z")
My wife cleans houses. I started the business and worked with her for 19 years until last year when a back issue (largely from cleaning for so many years) made me have to leave our business. She has been agonizing about what to do here. On one hand if she doesn’t work there is no income. On the other hand she didn’t want to be responsible for picking up a virus somewhere and bringing it home, or to other homes that she cleaned. She did take steps to limit such risk but again, nothing is perfect. She had a couple people cancel really quickly. Our governor just issued a stay home order and our business isn’t “necessary” so today was her last day. She sent out emails to all of our clients. Out of 20 clients two have offered to pay something to help so far. One of them did so right off the bat when they cancelled early in this issue on their own. So one additional person has agreed to do so, at least for one cleaning. I started a life coaching practice about a year ago and primarily work with people that are often low income in the niche that I serve. I chose to do that and even have “pay what you want” pricing to help. I’m already seeing cancellations there too as people hunker down. I don’t know how long this will go on but it should be interesting. I’ve worked really hard over the years to make sure we had an emergency fund so we will be fine, but those funds don’t replenish themselves so they’ll take a lot of hard work to get back. So from someone that worked in that business for years, someone whose wife still does, thank you all for your generosity and for helping. It is a very personal service and our relationships with the families we work with has meant so much over the years. Everyone works together and it’s a win-win for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/27 "2020-03-25T00:39:00Z")
We have a couple that come and clean every Saturday and when I called last Friday to cancel, the husband told me that their daughter has covid-like symptoms and they were thinking of canceling. It didn’t occur to me to offer to pay them, but I think I will call tomorrow to ask about their daughter and offer that. They each have day jobs so I’m not so sure they actually need the money. They live in a house in the suburbs with a swimming pool. But I will offer. Obviously we can afford it since we pay them. But I can and will mop a floor. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/28 "2020-03-25T00:47:45Z")
> [@justanothermike](#): > > My wife cleans houses. I started the business and worked with her for 19 years until last year when a back issue (largely from cleaning for so many years) made me have to leave our business. She has been agonizing about what to do here. On one hand if she doesn’t work there is no income. On the other hand she didn’t want to be responsible for picking up a virus somewhere and bringing it home, or to other homes that she cleaned. She did take steps to limit such risk but again, nothing is perfect. > > She had a couple people cancel really quickly. Our governor just issued a stay home order and our business isn’t “necessary” so today was her last day. She sent out emails to all of our clients. Out of 20 clients two have offered to pay something to help so far. One of them did so right off the bat when they cancelled early in this issue on their own. So one additional person has agreed to do so, at least for one cleaning. > > I started a life coaching practice about a year ago and primarily work with people that are often low income in the niche that I serve. I chose to do that and even have “pay what you want” pricing to help. I’m already seeing cancellations there too as people hunker down. I don’t know how long this will go on but it should be interesting. I’ve worked really hard over the years to make sure we had an emergency fund so we will be fine, but those funds don’t replenish themselves so they’ll take a lot of hard work to get back. > > So from someone that worked in that business for years, someone whose wife still does, thank you all for your generosity and for helping. It is a very personal service and our relationships with the families we work with has meant so much over the years. Everyone works together and it’s a win-win for everyone. Hey, **justanothermike** –haven’t heard from you in a while! I was just thinking back to when you and the Mrs started getting into Christmas. I said it was fun witnessing how much fun you were having, and you said please don’t use the word _witness_! 😃 I’m so sorry y’all are going through this. You’re right that this kind of service business creates an intimate connection over the years. After I had my lumpectomy, my cleaning lady brought me food-- she makes a mean [calabacita con pollo](https://tejanamade.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/sam_0669.png?w=740)! All the best to you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/29 "2020-03-25T01:02:55Z")
I agree with **nelliebly** that we’ll all be largely housebound for several months. We don’t know how bad it will get, but it will be bad for awhile. So **ThelmaLou** , I’m glad you’re able and willing to pay your cleaning lady on an ongoing basis while she stays away. We’re planning to do the same with our cleaning lady, who’s been cleaning our house for nearly a decade. It helps that my wife and I will be able to work from home for the duration, and since we won’t lose a penny of income, affording to pay her will be no problem for us. We’re among the lucky ones, and we know it. Now that we’ve decided we’re going to pay her to stay away, what’s the best way to say that to her? (Answer not needed fast; her next visit would be a week from tomorrow. I would need to call her before then.) I’m not always the most diplomatic of people, but I want to be so in this case. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/30 "2020-03-25T01:50:58Z")
I said, “I can’t have you come any more. I’m so sorry. I can’t have anyone in the house except me. It’s just not safe these days. I’m also not going out at all. I will keep paying you. I’m sure you understand.” She agreed immediately. Then I got her account and routing numbers and went to my bank online and added her account as one that I can deposit into but not withdraw from. I don’t see where diplomacy is needed. We all know what’s going on. It’s not that you’re “paying her to stay away.” You’re giving her paid leave like some people get who work for companies. There’s no personal rejection going on here. After 10 years, she must know y’all. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/31 "2020-03-25T02:38:10Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > That’s exactly what we did. Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/32 "2020-03-25T12:13:47Z")
Just a suggestion, but a friend’s elderly Mum, who usually has a cleaner, has instead been asking the cleaner to drop off groceries for her, on the doorstep, and is paying her for that instead. If they’re going to the shops anyway, and you want to support them while keeping safe yourself, that seems like a decent compromise to suggest. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/33 "2020-03-25T12:24:31Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Pay her as much as you can anyway but don’t let her in your house. She needs the money. This. Living with a little clutter and low-grade filth isn’t going to kill you for a little while. But she needs the work and you can afford to pay her. If it really bugs you, work out the quo for this quid when the emergency is over. If you’re both still around. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2020, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/34 "2020-03-25T19:29:54Z")
A widespread problem… **[‘Plz Cancel Our Cleaning’: Virus Leads Many to Cast Aside Household Help](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/us/coronavirus-housekeepers-nannies-domestic-undocumented-immigrants.html)** > [@](#): > > … > Household help, often performed by undocumented immigrants like Ms. Zamorano, has become a fixture of American homes. In a thriving economy, even middle-class families have been able to hand off their mops, brooms and lawn mowers to low-paid workers from Mexico, El Salvador, Guatemala and other countries. With reliable caregivers at home, many dual-income couples have raised children while building high-powered careers. > > The coronavirus crisis is compelling many families to reassess. Concerns about the safety of an outsider entering their homes coupled with financial instability have prompted even the well-heeled to dispense with their help, and severance payments are a rarity. > > Unlike their employers, undocumented workers cannot collect unemployment or benefit from a government bailout. They are part of the bustling informal economy, typically paid cash and off the books for the essential work they do. Without paid sick leave, remote work capability and access to jobs, they become uniquely vulnerable. > > From New York to Los Angeles, families have been handling their help in different ways as they hunker down in their homes. Some have decided they cannot live without their help; a few feel committed to paying them while asking them not to come to work and still others have simply told workers to stop coming. > … > > When Mayra Brito was hired in Austin, Texas, as a nanny and children’s Spanish teacher for two families — one middle-class, with four children, the other a wealthy couple who both work in technology — her employers had meticulously called each one of her references. > … > > Ms. Brito had worked for one of the families for two years, the other for six months. In letting her go without confirming if or when she might have a job again, one set of parents said they were concerned about the health of their youngest child, a 9-month-old baby. The other said they wanted to keep the children’s aging grandparents who live with them safe. > > “I understand their reasons,” Ms. Brito said, “But what I don’t understand is why they didn’t say, ‘We’re going to pay you at least half while you’re at home because we’re not letting you work.’” > > She has since fielded requests from one of the families to do video calls because their children miss her. The parents did not offer to compensate her for the calls. > … COVID-related articles are currently available at the New York Times without a subscription. I don’t know if you’re required to register in some way (I think you might be, judging from some disgruntled posts elsewhere on the board), but I think you then have the option to read without subscribing. ---
**Author:** ![moes\_lotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@moes\_lotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moes_lotion)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2020, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/35 "2020-03-31T01:44:34Z")
We have a two woman team visit us every second week, and have decided to pay them for at least the next two visits which they would have made, then re-evaluate, which takes us to mid April. There’s a meme going around with a caption “My cleaning lady notified me that she’s now working from home, detailed instructions to follow” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/36 "2020-04-03T04:18:12Z")
> [@Twoflower](#): > > We cancelled our housecleaner, paid her for two sessions, and we’ll check back in a month. Not worth the risk. Ditto. Well, even after the next 2 sessions, we’ll continue to pay her as long as we both have jobs. Back to the OP: It’s not just being in the same room with her; if she sneezes on a surface and you touch it a little while later, the virus could still be transmitted. She should actually be glad of your telling her “stay home” and not just because she’ll get paid and not do anything for it. By keeping her away from you, you’re reducing _her_ exposure as well. I mean, being in your house is presumably not too risky (since I assume you’re otherwise sheltering in place) compared with going to church, but if you came down with it, she’d be exposed at your place. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/37 "2020-04-03T10:51:23Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > … > > She should actually be glad of your telling her “stay home” and not just because she’ll get paid and not do anything for it. By keeping her away from you, you’re reducing _her_ exposure as well. I mean, being in your house is presumably not too risky (since I assume you’re otherwise sheltering in place) compared with going to church, but if you came down with it, she’d be exposed at your place. She totally “got it,” and was perfectly fine with it. And her church is all online now. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/38 "2020-04-03T12:59:21Z")
I have a slightly different situation. My cleaning contract is with a service and different people actually clean. There is one woman who usually shows up. The company canceled on us. If I had a way of getting money to the regular cleaner, I’d do it. I’m less motivated to pay the service. I’m sure they are a small business facing financial hardship but I don’t have a “face” for them. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2020, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113/39 "2020-04-03T13:14:06Z")
My husband asked our cleaning lady not to come, and said he’d mail her a check. I will suggest that he ask for her bank routing number, instead. Our intention is to keep paying her as long as I remain employed, since we’re sure she needs the money. But my mother’s situation is more complicated. She’s elderly and very vulnerable to the virus, but she also can’t do a lot of stuff, and her cleaning lady is also her “aid”. She changes light bulbs and opens jars that are too tight and does a multitude of little things that my mom can’t do for herself. For now my mom isn’t letting her come, but it’s going to be a lot rougher on my mom than on most of us. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-sought-about-my-cleaning-lady-re-covid/850113.md?page=1)