# Advice to people soliciting donations: DO NOT DO THIS! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 9, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602 "2003-04-09T17:55:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/41 "2003-04-11T08:03:39Z")
> [@](#): > > What I WISH I’d say – I never think of doing it when they’re actually on the line – is “I don’t know. They live six hundred miles away, why don’t I call and see?” Though they DON’T live six hundred miles away anymore, so it’d be a lie. But it’d be worth it. Ooh ooh! I’ve actually done this. I’ve been asked, “Is your mother home?” and replied, “I don’t know. She lives an hour away.” ---
**Author:** ![Fin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fin_man)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/42 "2003-04-11T11:18:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*My surname is German in origin, and starts with EU. As speakers of American English this is generally pronounced as YOO. But some folks, telemarketers in particular, try to sound both letters and end up mangling it. So if the caller hesitates in the pronunciation of my name I know it’s a solicitation. I love to mess with them. They will say “may I speak to Mrs. mangled garble” and I put on my best chilly voice and say "this is _Ms._ correct pronunciation. It’s funny when they start stuttering an apology, realizing they’ve got off on the wrong foot. Then I hang up. \*\* My father-in-law has a not so hard to pronounce last name but TMs always seem to screw it up. When they as for “Mr. mispronounced lastname” he says “That is not how it is pronounced. You have two more tries to get it right.” If they don’t get it right in three tries, he hangs up. I tried that myself (since my name is often mispronounced). Only did it once (I felt so bad afterward). The TM got so flustered she did it worse the second time. I responded, “Nope. One more try”. She got it even worse. “Wrong again. Good bye.” ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/43 "2003-04-11T12:07:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*Careful with this. They’re called toner pirates, and they want the model number so they can send overpriced toner COD, hoping it will get paid amidst the office bureacracy. \*\* I work at a consignment shop, and when I started, we had no credit card machine. So, sure enough, one day the toner pirates call: Pirate: “Could I have the serial number off your credit card machine?” Manager: “We don’t _have_ a credit card machine.” P: “No, we just want to send you some supplies for the printer of your credit card machine.” M: “We don’t _have_ a credit card machine.” P: “We’re from the company that supplies…” When they finally realized that we didn’t have a credit card machine, they actually had the nerve to ask for the serial number off our cash register. Needless to say, they were promptly hung up on. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/44 "2003-04-11T14:27:49Z")
Telemarketers always ask if I am Mrs. NUGG-ent. How hard is it to pronounce NOO-gent, anyway? Haven’t these people ever heard of Ted? ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/45 "2003-04-11T14:35:24Z")
_slight hijack_ I also LOOK very young. So young that a few years ago when a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses showed up at my doorstep, they asked if I would give this pamphlet to my mom. “I live here,” I told them. They look confused. “ **I** live here,” I said again. They got REALLY embarassed and left quickly. I did call my mom and ask if she wanted the pamphlet. She didn’t. 😃 _end slight hijack_ ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/46 "2003-04-11T16:11:54Z")
Bah. I’m constantly being called “Miss” and “Ma’am” over the phone. (At least they’re polite about it.) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/47 "2003-04-11T16:37:14Z")
You too, **Esprix**? I normally don’t mind at all, but there was one time where an especially obnoxious telemarketer was on the phone with me, so I eventually corrected her. “Sir,” I said. “I’m a sir.” Throughout the rest of the conversation (it was ten years ago, God only knows why I allowed there to be a “rest of the conversation”), she called me ma’am three or four more times, and I corrected her each time. I shoulda started calling her sir. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/48 "2003-04-11T17:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > That won’t stop 'em. My step father has been dead for 5 years now, and he’s still getting mail and phone calls from Bank of America. My grandmother died in July 1973. Last summer we received a telephone call from a certain HMO with a very American sounding name. \ Hi, this is So and So from American Sounding HMO, may I speak to Mrs. Six’s Grandma? \ I’m sorry, she cannot come to the phone. \ Are you sure? This is So and So from American Sounding HMO. \ Yes, I’m quite sure. Please put her on your Do Not Call list. \ Only Mrs. Six’s Grandma can request to be put on our Do Not Call list. \ I’m afraid she’ll have a hard time doing that since she’s been dead and buried for 29 years. At that point I went to hang up, and heard the TM mumble something about how rude it was to lie about a person being dead just to avoid them. Dumb bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/49 "2003-04-11T17:52:18Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **DanielWithrow** _ > > I normally don’t mind at all, but there was one time where an especially obnoxious telemarketer was on the phone with me, so I eventually corrected her. “Sir,” I said. “I’m a sir.” Heh. Funny story - at a former job I was supporting the HR director and often got calls from our HMO rep for her, and I’d just pass them along. After 3 years I got promoted to Benefits Administrator, so our rep called one day to congratulate me. He thought we hadn’t met, which we had when he’d come into the office once or twice, but I figured he just didn’t pay much attention to lowly functionaries (although he was actually a very genuine and nice guy): Him: So what was your name again? Me: Alan. Him: \ Ellen? _(I get that a lot)_ Me: No, Alan. Him: \ How do you spell that? Me: A-l-a-n. Him: \ That’s an unusual name for a woman. Me: \ Well it would be if I were a woman. Him: \ Oh, my God - I’m so sorry… When he came in a few days later for us to review the policies, he brought me all kinds of freebie goodies from his company and apologized several more times (and of course recognized me as soon as he walked in the door, realizing we had indeed met but he hadn’t put two and two together since he was assuming over the phone that I was a woman). Very amusing indeed. 😃 That same boss used to laugh when people would refer to me as “ma’am” or “miss” over the phone because I’d hang up and loudly say, “I’m a SIR!” 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/50 "2003-04-11T20:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chicken Scratch \* > **Gill Fins was the name of our fish. For years, we got calls & mail for “Gilbert Finns”.** I’m using this. Thank you. . . 😃 Tripler I think the telemarketers have realized that I’ve been giving them my dog’s name anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/51 "2003-04-12T03:43:37Z")
My poor mother has a fairly epicene first name (Marty). She also uses her maiden name, though she’s been married to my father for over thirty years now. This happens a lot: Telemarketer: Is Mr. Marty Maidenname there? Momblink: There’s no-one here by that name. Telemarketer: Is this _Mrs._ Maidenname? Momblink: No. (click) She also has a kind of deep voice, and used to work the phones at a certain Evil Electronics Store, which resulted in … Momblink: Evil Electronics, this is Marty, how can I help you? Caller: [pause] … um, Marty? Are you a he or a she? Momblink (shocked): Excuse me?! Caller: Oh, sorry. What I want, sir, is … She spent the rest of the call trying to talk in as high a voice as possible, which earned her many strange looks from her coworkers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/52 "2003-04-12T20:41:37Z")
Say Something like this, it works all the time for me: You: Hello? Solicitor: Hello, I’m from– You: Hello?[/SIZE] HELLO? HELLO?! HELLO?!?!? Keep repeating until the solicitor gives up. I’ve got many more, which are better than this one, but I can’t seem to remember them. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602/53 "2003-04-12T20:44:05Z")
You: Hello Solicitor: Hi, I’m from AT&T blah blah blahdee blah blah… You: Well, I’m not really interested, but I have a friend who is, his name is Click. Want to talk to him? Solicitor: Sure! You: Ok. ::\>CLICK\<:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-people-soliciting-donations-do-not-do-this/167602.md?page=2)