# Advice to the middle-aged, from teens and young adults! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932 "2013-10-22T14:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/21 "2013-10-22T22:21:16Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur886] I know this isn’t exactly in scope, but we old fucks–excuse me, “middle aged” fucks–grew up with computers and video games. I just turned 47. I used computers in middle school. Sure, they were the first personal computers ever, but they were computers. We had video games. Sure they were 8-bit, but they were futuristic to us! [/QUOTE] Well, how fortunate for me I didn’t write “computers” then 😃 Call your grandkids, they need to take you to SpecSavers for new reading glasses. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/22 "2013-10-22T23:54:07Z")
In a weird sort of Benjamin Buttons effect, I actually had to wear suits more when I was in my 20s working in technology firms up in Boston. Now I’m 41 and for most of the past 3 years or so, I’ve worked for more “hipster” tech startups and tech consultancies where everyone is super casual. Now I have to go back and buy a bunch of trendy casual clothes without looking like I’m trying to look 25. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/23 "2013-10-23T00:05:01Z")
See, here’s the problem with this thread. People my age don’t need advice from teenagers and young adults. We don’t need to be “cool” with you. We aren’t going to become you in the future. We’ve already been you. Where we are now is where you want to be. You may not think so now, but trust me. When you are 40 you want to be in a position of some responsibility at your job, possibly buying a nice home with your lovely wife. Not still living with three roommates grinding through some low-level job, trying to bang any barfly you meet. I will, however, take advice from young people on music. I’m always looking for new music to listen to. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/24 "2013-10-23T01:27:28Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > See, here’s the problem with this thread. People my age don’t need advice from teenagers and young adults. We don’t need to be “cool” with you. We aren’t going to become you in the future. We’ve already been you. Where we are now is where you want to be. You may not think so now, but trust me. When you are 40 you want to be in a position of some responsibility at your job, possibly buying a nice home with your lovely wife. Not still living with three roommates grinding through some low-level job, trying to bang any barfly you meet. > > I will, however, take advice from young people on music. I’m always looking for new music to listen to. A lot of people do buy into that dream I guess, after giving up on their unreachable real dreams of spectacular lives and accomplishments. The desirability of a consolation prize of a mortgage and responsibility aside, you’re giving advice based on your experience. While that is logical and reasonable, this thread is about the complete opposite kind of advice: the kind based on assumptions and observation. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/25 "2013-10-23T04:31:42Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > When you were growing up, you could openly puff on a joint and the worse you’d face is being called a dirty hippie. Nowadays, you can get a mandatory life sentence. While I mostly agree with the sentiment of your post, ridiculous hyperbole isn’t necessary. Unless you can provide some evidence that people puffing on a joint are being regularly given mandatory life sentences in some jurisdiction of which I am unaware. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/26 "2013-10-23T07:02:45Z")
I’m 29 and I work in tech support at a bank. If you are afraid of (or just bad at) the internet, won’t take a computing basics class, and are incapable of self-help, just don’t use it. I will not judge you at all (to your face) for opting out of computers/the internet. But the ones who use it incompetently and call to bitch about lockouts and password requirements, while concurrently demonstrating that they don’t know what a special character is or thinking that numbers can be capitalized? You will be barely tolerated. I will blow off some steam by making fun of you after you hang up. And my faith in humanity will continue decreasing.\* So I guess this can be boiled down as: know your limits. Which seems to happen less and less as people get old and stodgy and less capable of honest self-evaluation. \*Not knowing these things is fine if you are kind, humble, and willing to learn.I am willing to teach. But if you can’t tone down the jackassery, you deserve to be mocked. nyah! ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/27 "2013-10-23T07:32:49Z")
Well, I’m pushing 50, so I’ll share this: > **[out-at-home.com is for sale | HugeDomains](https://www.hugedomains.com/domain_profile.cfm?d=out-at-home.com)** > > Start your new business venture with a great domain name. A trusted source for domains since 2005. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/28 "2013-10-23T08:03:49Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > See, here’s the problem with this thread. People my age don’t need advice from teenagers and young adults. We don’t need to be “cool” with you. We aren’t going to become you in the future. We’ve already been you. Where we are now is where you want to be. You may not think so now, but trust me. When you are 40 you want to be in a position of some responsibility at your job, possibly buying a nice home with your lovely wife. Not still living with three roommates grinding through some low-level job, trying to bang any barfly you meet. Yes and no. But I think that too often, people (as they reach middle age) quit taking risks which could result in better lives for themselves and rationalize their actions by saying, “Well, security is what matters, I have a family, responsibilities, this is the mature thing to do, etc.” You could learn something from the young you. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/29 "2013-10-23T11:25:25Z")
> [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](#): > > Yes and no. But I think that too often, people (as they reach middle age) quit taking risks which could result in better lives for themselves and rationalize their actions by saying, “Well, security is what matters, I have a family, responsibilities, this is the mature thing to do, etc.” You could learn something from the young you. I’m curious as to what specific risks you think I (as a 41 year old) should take that would result in a better life for myself? Young people often take a lot of stupid risks or make dumb decisions and mistake that for being creative or innovative. While what might appear to be a significant risk to a 20 year old is not really much of a risk to 40 year old with more resources. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/30 "2013-10-23T12:48:45Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I’m curious as to what specific risks you think I (as a 41 year old) should take that would result in a better life for myself? > > Young people often take a lot of stupid risks or make dumb decisions and mistake that for being creative or innovative. While what might appear to be a significant risk to a 20 year old is not really much of a risk to 40 year old with more resources. I mean switching to a more fulfilling career or job, moving to a better city, that sort of thing. (Not to be confused with having a mid-life crisis and throwing over the traces.) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/31 "2013-10-23T14:21:58Z")
> [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](#): > > I mean switching to a more fulfilling career or job, moving to a better city, that sort of thing. (Not to be confused with having a mid-life crisis and throwing over the traces.) Fair enough. I’m probably a bad example since I change jobs every 1-4 years and have a waterfront view of Manhattan. But I do know the sort you are talking about. I used to work with a guy in some big insurance company who was probably a middle-aged guy in spirit by the time he graduated college. The kind of guy who marries some girl with a rich father in law and grinds it out for the next 30 years in some giant corporate bureaucracy because that’s what he’s “supposed” to do. Then again, I don’t think taking excessive risks would make him happy. Heck, just coming into Manhattan to get to work seems to make him nervous. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/32 "2013-10-23T14:46:12Z")
I’m 29 now and 2 years into my 2nd “career” after working like crazy in my early 20s running the technology company I started. I am so glad I got to enjoy being career focused while I was young so I could get it “out of my system” and learn I want more out of life. I’ve found a better balance now while I have decades to enjoy the rest of life. I realize it’s really obnoxious advice for the millions of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who are still struggling to establish themselves professionally or attain the professional accomplishments they’re capable of… But there’s also lot’s of people who are ostensibly very successful and yet continue working crazy hours and being very career-focused. These are the people I don’t understand. I worked long hours and loved building a business from nothing, but I can’t imagine doing that my whole life. I hope that when I’m retired I’ll look back at my career and be so thankful I spent most of it with an interesting, stimulating job that I put out of my mind easily when the work day was done so I could enjoy hobbies and friends and family. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/33 "2013-10-23T19:53:22Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > I realize it’s really obnoxious advice for the millions of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who are still struggling to establish themselves professionally or attain the professional accomplishments they’re capable of… But there’s also lot’s of people who are ostensibly very successful and yet continue working crazy hours and being very career-focused. > > These are the people I don’t understand. Perhaps an anecdote of my daughter will illustrate. She took me along shopping for jeans. She picked out several pairs, and then pointed out the ones that she thought were OK for me. Then I checked the price tags. “Oh, don’t worry about that, daddy - we can afford these!” she said. I replied, “That’s OK for you to say - you have a rich father.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/34 "2013-10-24T01:09:39Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Perhaps an anecdote of my daughter will illustrate. > > She took me along shopping for jeans. She picked out several pairs, and then pointed out the ones that she thought were OK for me. Then I checked the price tags. > > “Oh, don’t worry about that, daddy - we can afford these!” she said. I replied, > > “That’s OK for you to say - you have a rich father.” > > Regards, > Shodan I like to imagine that the wisdom I’ve accumulated amounts to a little bit more than just “make lots of money, like I do”, but there are times when I fear it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/35 "2013-10-24T02:39:49Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > Since this thread is still young 😃 maybe we should agree on a definition. It’s really very simple: middle-aged is 10 years older than me. At the moment, that would make it 48. After Thanksgiving, it will be 49. 😉 I know this is a snarky thread, but in all sincerity, I love hearing the perspective of my younger friends and their friends. Things that I’ve become jaded about, or assume wrongly, or simply have just forgotten or forgotten how important they are - they’re all shiny and new for them, and I get to see/learn/do things through their wisdom all over again. And sometimes, they really do know stuff I don’t. I don’t pretend I know everything just because I’ve managed to keep breathing this many years. Not long ago (for example) a younger co-worker steered me to an “add days to date” app when she found me counting a calender with my finger. I’m not well-versed in apps, so it didn’t occur to me to even look for one; they’re second nature to her, so she just assumes there’s an app for whatever she needs, and she’s usually right. So that was some well appreciated advice from a young adult, for sure, and now I know how to look for apps on my own. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932/36 "2013-10-26T02:38:09Z")
I’m 27. Embrace the internet and technology based on its use. This includes mobile tech. It may seem useless or crappy or too convoluted for you, but think about the move away from rotary dial and party lines. You’d probably think using those nowadays is preposterous, right? That’s how young people think of middle-aged people who refuse to text or use Facebook. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advice-to-the-middle-aged-from-teens-and-young-adults/671932.md?page=1)