# Adviced needed - I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607 "2010-04-01T18:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/21 "2010-04-01T20:18:02Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > That reminds of when I was driving my Hummer to get my puppy-mill dog fixed (and circumcised), and I almost ran over some fucking retard on some kind of faggoty little moped. I yelled “Geezus tittyfucking christ! That bike is gayer than cum on mustache! You get a free rectal examine with the purchase? Maybe a complimentary prostate-shine? FAG!”. He started yelling at me, but I couldn’t understand his messed-up talking - then I realized the queer wasn’t just a kinda-retard, but an actual full-on “Special Olympics” fell-out-of-Sarah-Palin’s-snatch retard. He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer! This was just sort of funny but I feel obliged to say you owe me a new keyboard. And a de-hoofed pony. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/22 "2010-04-01T20:21:24Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > That reminds of when I was driving my Hummer to get my puppy-mill dog fixed (and circumcised), and I almost ran over some fucking retard on some kind of faggoty little moped. I yelled “Geezus tittyfucking christ! That bike is gayer than cum on mustache! You get a free rectal examine with the purchase? Maybe a complimentary prostate-shine? FAG!”. He started yelling at me, but I couldn’t understand his messed-up talking - then I realized the queer wasn’t just a kinda-retard, but an actual full-on “Special Olympics” fell-out-of-Sarah-Palin’s-snatch retard. He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer! I like the cut of your jib…but I was trying to cover all bases…you need more for the conservatives to yell at 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/23 "2010-04-01T20:22:21Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > After my fat black pharmacist refused to fill my Oxycontin, my ADD made me run over my pedophile neighbor’s unleashed pit bulls as I tailgated an Aspie riding helmetless on a loud-pipe Harley in the slow lane on the way to a gay wedding reception for non-tipping picky eaters. I blame liberals. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Oh, and the mods, of course. Nice going, now the thread has to be moved to [del] **ATMB** [/del] **13CAOT**. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/24 "2010-04-01T20:24:34Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > If we put the Ford on a treadmill that can go up to 0.999999…_c_ (since we know nothing can actually reach the speed of light), behind one of three doors, and I reveal your cat behind one of the doors you didn’t pick, it doesn’t really matter if you open the first door you picked or not, because Bernoulli’s principle will make it fly anyway. So is the cat dead, or is it alive? Or can we tell unless the door is closed? I take a proprietary interest in felines. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/25 "2010-04-01T20:28:15Z")
> [@CannyDan](#): > > I take a proprietary interest in felines. I hope that means you keep them _indoors_. Only retards let their cats wander outside. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/26 "2010-04-01T20:39:28Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I hope that means you keep them _indoors_. Only retards let their cats wander outside. Yeah, well, we’re gonna get kitteh wrangling into the Special Olympics! Then you’ll be sorry! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/27 "2010-04-01T20:42:54Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > This was just sort of funny - \\* ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/28 "2010-04-01T20:53:01Z")
Sarah Palin. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/29 "2010-04-01T20:54:49Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition… What, your vet will declaw cats in a Ford Expedition? You’d think the vet would do the procedure in an operating room on a table; but hey, who am I to tell them how to do their job? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/30 "2010-04-01T21:00:29Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Sarah Palin. You just came here to say ugly and disgusting things. We don’t need your kind in this thread. This is The Snuggly Kitten Forum, after all. Now go wash your er, keyboard off with soap! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/31 "2010-04-01T21:19:31Z")
ETA: Napkin sandwiches. _Oh god, I think I need to buy myself a custom title…_ ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/32 "2010-04-01T21:23:44Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > ETA: Napkin sandwiches. So now everybody has potty mouth? Careful, or \*she who should not be named \*will appear and we’ll all have to abandon this thread. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/33 "2010-04-01T21:26:34Z")
I’m black but I _like_ coffee. In an Ford Expedition. Or on a horse. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/34 "2010-04-01T21:40:17Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > …He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer! But, I wonder, what was his policy on **dryer lint**? Clearly, it’s the _next_ person’s responsibility to deal with it, right? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/35 "2010-04-01T21:50:16Z")
Wait, shit, did you check the vet’s bathroom? Which way was the toilet paper hanging? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/36 "2010-04-01T21:59:24Z")
Sure, declawing your cat is trendy nowdays. But what happens a few years from now when claws are back in style? Then we’re going to have to go back to the same damn vet and pay them to get our cats clawed. It’s a never ending cycle and the vets are just getting richer and buying more fat food. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/37 "2010-04-01T22:09:41Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Sure, declawing your cat is trendy nowdays. But what happens a few years from now when claws are back in style? Then we’re going to have to go back to the same damn vet and pay them to get our cats clawed. > It’s a never ending cycle and the vets are just getting richer and buying more fat food. Whoa there, wait a minute! You don’t let the vet keep the claws, you ask for them back just in case the style changes. Then the Vietnamese ladies down at the nail salon can patch the cat back up. Unless you froze the cat to beat the vet to death. Then you take it to the Korean market. ---
**Author:** ![toodlepip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@toodlepip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toodlepip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/38 "2010-04-01T22:56:37Z")
Could a mod please insert a link to a cute pic of your cat and move this to MPKIMS? If you’d read the rules before posting, you would know that all cat threads are required to have a minimum of one photo and two amusing kitty anecdotes. Anyway, I can’t believe nobody’s suggested [freezing the cat](http://adsoftheworld.com/files/images/FROZEN-CAT.jpg) and beating the vet to death with it. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/39 "2010-04-01T22:58:34Z")
> [@toodlepip](#): > > … > Anyway, I can’t believe nobody’s suggested [freezing the cat](http://adsoftheworld.com/files/images/FROZEN-CAT.jpg) and beating the vet to death with it. Post 4 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/40 "2010-04-01T23:42:08Z")
Just freeze the vet and beat the cat to death with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607.md?page=3)