# Adviced needed - I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607 "2010-04-01T18:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/61 "2010-04-02T14:03:32Z")
_I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition When I was confronted by a scary apparation A 2000 pound pussy staring down at me Said “Stop that SUV, all kitties got to be free”_ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/62 "2010-04-02T14:08:23Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > No, count again. There are 45 posts here. I was missed! Oh… wait… never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/63 "2010-04-02T14:24:23Z")
SO, did you take your shoes off when you got home? ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/64 "2010-04-02T15:51:12Z")
The (bereft, former Kitteh Wrangler) suggests putting on your claws and leaving your foreskin at the door. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/65 "2010-04-02T16:06:01Z")
I was hoping you crashed your vehicle into the vet clinic. It’s a Ford but that’s close enough to a Toyota to blame your senile gas pedal pushing brake foot on Toyota. Next time call PETA that will fix your cat and you. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/66 "2010-04-02T17:57:15Z")
Who tips their vet? And really, Escalades are where it’s at. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/67 "2010-04-02T18:23:38Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > And really, Escalades are where it’s at. Not for Tiger Woods. Speaking of which, does anyone know if he likes pussies? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/68 "2010-04-02T19:16:35Z")
_Circumcising_ the cat? Is the cat Jewish? Because religion and/or atheism is the reason for everything wrong in the world, including sunspots. We need to weight in the theological perspectives, possible by locking **Der Trihs** and **Kanicbird** in a small room with one frozen cat. Also, isn’t **Idle Thoughts** dead? Why is he here? Is he proof of life-after-death? If so, the mods should move this to GD. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/69 "2010-04-03T01:51:52Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > _Circumcising_ the cat? Is the cat Jewish? Because religion and/or atheism is the reason for everything wrong in the world, including sunspots. Oh really? Well, perhaps your conveniently forgetting that those were _exactly_ the views of **Adolf Hitler** and the **Nazi’s**! Not that this will effect you’re views at all, because your just to stupid. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/70 "2010-04-03T04:20:18Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > _Circumcising_ the cat? Is the cat Jewish? Because religion and/or atheism is the reason for everything wrong in the world, including sunspots. We need to weight in the theological perspectives, possible by locking **Der Trihs** and **Kanicbird** in a small room … I wouldn’t do that, if I were you. It’s that whole matter … antimatter … thing. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/71 "2010-04-03T13:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m trying to write a joke about making cats who won’t take off their shoes at least wipe them on the doormats the Nazis made from discarded foreskins, but it’s not coming. > > Can someone help me with this? No. Do your own homework assignments. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/72 "2010-04-03T13:22:25Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > _Circumcising_ the cat? Is the cat Jewish? Because religion and/or atheism is the reason for everything wrong in the world, including sunspots. We need to weight in the theological perspectives, possible by locking **Der Trihs** and **Kanicbird** in a small room with one frozen cat. > > Also, isn’t **Idle Thoughts** dead? Why is he here? Is he proof of life-after-death? If so, the mods should move this to GD. Shroedinger’s Red Shirt? Nine lives of **Idle Thoughts**? ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/73 "2010-04-03T13:37:56Z")
BTW, make VERY sure that the veterinarian sees you in the EXACT order in which you were seated in his waiting room. Anything else would be UNFAIR!!! ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/74 "2010-04-03T16:26:57Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > BTW, make VERY sure that the veterinarian sees you in the EXACT order in which you were seated in his waiting room. Anything else would be UNFAIR!!! If there were three doors in the vet’s office, one actually leading to the vet and the other two leading to pits of flaming hell, and you choose one and then I open one of the others to show it’s a pit of flaming hell and offer you the chance to switch, should you switch? The answer is no, because it can’t possibly make any difference (and I know about probability and I’ve worked it out on my computer), but lots of clever people fall for it. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/75 "2010-04-03T17:07:38Z")
I’m confused. Lots of clever people switch to the one you’ve opened? So they “fall (for it)” into the pit? Am I missing the point? I don’t know, I just haven’t been the same since I was declawed and had my cat circumcised. In my SUV. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/76 "2010-04-03T17:24:05Z")
> [@CannyDan](#): > > I don’t know, I just haven’t been the same since I was declawed and had my cat circumcised. > > In my SUV. Go buy some tea and soothe yourself. Just don’t more that 15 seconds to order. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/77 "2010-04-04T00:42:32Z")
After I trim the nails of my kittens, I use a gas-powered leaf blower to blow them away. The nails, not the kittens. [Here’s a photo of one of my kittens](http://www.dailykitten.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/1152230540Picture-150.jpg). > [@](#): > > ``` > Circumcising the cat? Is the cat Jewish? Because religion and/or atheism is the reason for everything wrong in the world, including sunspots. > > ``` Except for Wicca. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/78 "2010-04-04T22:13:22Z")
What would you have done if on the way to the vet, you got in a horrible car accident and your cat became trapped in the flaming wreck, and the only one available to help you was Hitler armed with acid glue? ---
**Author:** ![toodlepip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@toodlepip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toodlepip)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/79 "2010-04-04T22:33:24Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > If there were three doors in the vet’s office, one actually leading to the vet and the other two leading to pits of flaming hell, and you choose one and then I open one of the others to show it’s a pit of flaming hell and offer you the chance to switch, should you switch? The answer is no, because it can’t possibly make any difference (and I know about probability and I’ve worked it out on my computer), but lots of clever people fall for it. Aha, I see you’ve been to our clinic. Did you remember to fill in our customer satisfaction survey? BTW, the fourth door is our dead animal storage room, the fifth is a mop cupboard. The kitteh circumcision room is downstairs on your left, just past the big freezer. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607/80 "2010-04-05T02:47:00Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Offer to tip her only if she also circumcises the cat. Then when she does, tell her the tip is “Stop eating so much, fattie!”… If she circumcises the cat, she’ll already have a tip. Unless you always take it home with you. Creepo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adviced-needed-i-was-driving-my-cat-to-be-declawed-in-my-ford-expedition/534607.md?page=5)