# Advise me on cooking a turtle for the first time

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 27, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262 "2011-11-27T18:57:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262/21 "2011-11-29T18:54:27Z")

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> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> Holy … :eek: Pretty sure that if the shell is still on then it hasn’t had its innards cleaned out, meaning your wife boiled into the broth the gallbladder, intestines, etc. plus all their savory contents.

Like I said – don’t do that!

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**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262/22 "2011-11-29T19:03:04Z")

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On his TV show, Bear Grylls was running around in a swamp, came across a big turtle, mercifully dispatched it, and threw the whole thing on the fire for an hour.

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**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262/23 "2011-11-29T19:10:54Z")

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I found a collection of recipes [here](http://en.allexperts.com/q/Cooking-Meat-750/Cooking-turtle-meat.htm).

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**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\
**Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/advise-me-on-cooking-a-turtle-for-the-first-time/604262/24 "2011-11-30T00:02:39Z")

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Mmmmmm…[roast snapping turtle](http://www.chicagoreader.com/binary/9ae6/1320858516-shutterstock_55673362.jpg)🆒

I know you’re not catching your own, but one publication offers this advice just in case…

> [@](#):
>
> Start preparing your turtle dinner by encouraging him to bite a stick. Then while holding the stick away from the body to stretch the neck, have a companion with a good eye and stout arm lop off the head with a hatchet. Hang the turtle by the tail to bleed it.

♪♫_Stick another turtle on the fire  
guys like me are mad for turtle meat_♫♪♫\*

\*Leonard Cohen, “Jazz Police”

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