# Affairs: Discuss **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960 "2012-04-06T01:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/1 "2012-04-06T01:08:59Z")
Wide open topic. Take it where you want, but kindly don’t post things that somehow turn into some “what were we supposed to say when your topic was so vague blah blah blah” crap that makes me wish I’d never started posting in this forum. Seriously. Free association: affairs. Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/2 "2012-04-06T01:16:27Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > Wide open topic. Take it where you want, but kindly don’t post things that somehow turn into some “what were we supposed to say when your topic was so vague blah blah blah” crap that makes me wish I’d never started posting in this forum. > > Seriously. Free association: affairs. Discuss. Seriously vague. Just sayng… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/3 "2012-04-06T01:24:12Z")
I prefer soirees. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/4 "2012-04-06T01:26:01Z")
I’m more into shindigs. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/5 "2012-04-06T01:32:06Z")
I don’t think every topic has to be directed. Why not just let people say what they want? If I limit it to “do you think people cheat because blah blah” then I miss out on a lot (potentially) of cool discussion. I think this forum could use a little more free range and a little less coffee shop topic du jour. Just sayin… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/6 "2012-04-06T01:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Why not just let people say what they want? We do. You could have chosen any topic you wanted for this thread, and anyone who didn’t like that topic could start their own thread. Instead, you’ve picked no topic at all. It’s not even clear that by “affair”, you mean illicit romantic entanglements-- It could just as well be, for instance, the Iran-Contra Affair. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/7 "2012-04-06T01:50:09Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > I don’t think every topic has to be directed. Why not just let people say what they want? If I limit it to “do you think people cheat because blah blah” then I miss out on a lot (potentially) of cool discussion. I think this forum could use a little more free range and a little less coffee shop topic du jour. Just sayin… If you don’t care enough to talk about your own topic, why should anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/8 "2012-04-06T01:56:23Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > I’m more into shindigs. How about a gala? Can we agree on a gala? ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/9 "2012-04-06T02:03:21Z")
Good God. Can’t you people get out of your own way? Just reply. Don’t overthink it. Just say what the hell you want! “my asshole father cheated on my mother” “I’m the other woman” “we aren’t genetically programmed to be monogamous” “if she loved me she’d leave” “no one knows what goes on behind closed doors” Just say whatever. Don’t be so damn hung up and rigid. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/10 "2012-04-06T02:04:35Z")
Seriously. You have a mind. Expand it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/11 "2012-04-06T02:05:30Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > How about a gala? Can we agree on a gala? You know, I really prefer an old-fashioned house party. A bit of music for background, good people, beer in the fridge. Lets people focus on fun conversations rather than being respectable, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/12 "2012-04-06T02:06:37Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > Good God. Can’t you people get out of your own way? Just reply. Don’t overthink it. Just say what the hell you want! > > “my asshole father cheated on my mother” > “I’m the other woman” > “we aren’t genetically programmed to be monogamous” > “if she loved me she’d leave” > “no one knows what goes on behind closed doors” > > Just say whatever. Don’t be so damn hung up and rigid. I see that you just joined in March. Good rule of thumb: If you want people in any institution to change their rules to suit you, demonstrate that you understand and can apply the current norms first. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/13 "2012-04-06T02:09:54Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > You know, I really prefer an old-fashioned house party. A bit of music for background, good people, beer in the fridge. Lets people focus on fun conversations rather than being respectable, IMHO. Only really good if there’s a barbeque going, and a nice fire either on a patio or in the yard. House parties with neither of those just never end up as fun. I am a pyromaniac, so that might possibly have something to do with my opinions. I don’t think it’s likely, but just throwing it out there. Also, **hellboy**? You’ve really not been here long enough to start just blanket calling people uptight and rigid. Individuals? Sure thing. Everyone? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/14 "2012-04-06T02:12:49Z")
So what am I missing here: narcissistic and pretentious or dungeons and dragons? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/15 "2012-04-06T02:26:46Z")
And [here’s how to do this thread right](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=642967). ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/16 "2012-04-06T02:35:07Z")
I chose not to write that way for a few reasons: 1. I don’t think this forum is my therapy session/anyone’s business about my life 2. I don’t want specific feedback 3. I _thought_ this would be a topic to which people could just react. Clearly, people are more interested in subjects like “help me with my belly button lint issues!” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/17 "2012-04-06T02:42:11Z")
Given your apologetics about your behaviour on arrival on this board, don’t you think you should tone down the criticism a bit? This place has a specific culture that has evolved over the years; if you want a successful thread, do take time to learn it rather than dissing it for not conforming to your expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/affairs-discuss/617960/18 "2012-04-06T02:42:26Z")
I’m going to close this thread, not because it’s against the rules in any way, but just because it’s gotten way off-topic already and you don’t seem to want to try to get it back on-topic with any specific questions; instead opting just to make snarky replies. If you wish to open a topic about a specific subject, it’s much better to have an OP that addresses specific issues or has specific questions. “Free For All” OPs that have little content other than “Talk amongst yourselves!” would probably only garner the replies you’ve seen here or sink to the bottom without any replies at all.