# Afghani Islam , Its All About Masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811 "2009-04-03T04:49:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/21 "2009-04-03T12:48:26Z")
The obvious thing to do, is to remind the more fanatical Islamic adherents that even if they somehow managed to break the spirit of the infidel Capitalistic West, and we all converted to Muslims, they’d still have a billion plus Chinese to convince, who if you pissed them off, could just steamroller their nations into parking lots for their bicycles. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/22 "2009-04-03T12:54:11Z")
Can someone explain to me in regular English what this means: Article 177 The wife does not have the right to the provision of maintenance by the husband unless she agrees to have intercourse with him and he gets an opportunity for doing so Please? Provision of maintenance? Are we talking about something punctuation-related or something? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/23 "2009-04-03T12:57:02Z")
It sounds to me like it means “no nooky, no dollar”. What else could it mean? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/24 "2009-04-03T13:03:41Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > It sounds to me like it means “no nooky, no dollar”. What else could it mean? Well, now that makes sense. “Provision of the maintenance by the husband” is what threw me. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/25 "2009-04-03T13:06:20Z")
I thought we were getting over the whole “a fate worse than death by nuclear holocaust” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaijon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Sinaijon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaijon)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/26 "2009-04-03T13:29:07Z")
This doesn’t actually sanction rape at all, though, does it? It simple states the ‘right’ of the husband to have sex. If that ‘right’ is violated, then she has broken the marital contract. We don’t know what the consequences are. Maybe it’s simply grounds for divorce. Look at it this way, there are laws against wage discrimination here in the US. If my employer discriminates against me, I can sue them for damages, but it doesn’t give me the right to rob them at gun point and take their money, even though my ‘right’ to a wage was violated. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/27 "2009-04-03T13:41:52Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Can someone explain to me in regular English what this means: > Article 177 The wife does not have the right to the provision of maintenance by the husband unless she agrees to have intercourse with him and he gets an opportunity for doing so Is the husband obligated to feed and otherwise maintain his wife in America? Because otherwise this law means that an Afghan woman has the right to be maintained as long as she performs her wifely duty (and therefore has greater rights than an American woman) and she does not have to be maintained if she does not perform as a wife (and thus is in an equal position to an American woman). ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/28 "2009-04-03T13:44:19Z")
> [@Sinaijon](#): > > This doesn’t actually sanction rape at all, though, does it? It simple states the ‘right’ of the husband to have sex. No, that one doesn’t, but the other ones quoted in the OP do. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/29 "2009-04-03T13:52:26Z")
> [@](#): > > The husband, except when travelling or ill, is bound to have intercourse with his wife every four nights. Wow. No excuses like “it was a long day at the poppy fields and I’m tired”. The guy has to do his duty every four days. Until the day he dies. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/30 "2009-04-03T13:53:37Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Can someone explain to me in regular English what this means: > Article 177 The wife does not have the right to the provision of maintenance by the husband unless she agrees to have intercourse with him and he gets an opportunity for doing so > Please? > > Provision of maintenance? Are we talking about something punctuation-related or something? > > -Joe It means she either has to fuck him, or fix the lawn mower. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/31 "2009-04-03T13:57:45Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Afghani is the currency, not the adjective. While English rules are different, many Afghani people refer to themselves as Afghani, so it’s not exactly incorrect. Plus “Afghans” is thoroughly a Westernized concept; those languages don’t use ‘s’ to make it plural, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/32 "2009-04-03T15:37:11Z")
> [@sailor](#): > > Is the husband obligated to feed and otherwise maintain his wife in America? Because otherwise this law means that an Afghan woman has the right to be maintained as long as she performs her wifely duty (and therefore has greater rights than an American woman) and she does not have to be maintained if she does not perform as a wife (and thus is in an equal position to an American woman). This woman cannot leave the house alone. She cannot get a job. She may marry at 13 or 14 (after menses) to a man not of her choosing. Her ‘right’ is a choice between non-consensual sex or divorce (Which will lead to ostracization and probable death) How is this is remotely equal to an American woman’s right to leave the fucking house alone and get a job to support herself if the man she chose to marry as an adult tries to rape her? ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/33 "2009-04-03T15:51:46Z")
The OP left out the fact that there is a similar Article that addresses the right of the wife to “get hers” as well. The difference is the time frame is 4 months, not 4 days. Still calling these Articles a license to rape is rather histrionic. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/34 "2009-04-03T17:02:56Z")
> [@Sinaijon](#): > > This doesn’t actually sanction rape at all, though, does it? It simple states the ‘right’ of the husband to have sex. If that ‘right’ is violated, then she has broken the marital contract. We don’t know what the consequences are. Maybe it’s simply grounds for divorce. > > Look at it this way, there are laws against wage discrimination here in the US. If my employer discriminates against me, I can sue them for damages, but it doesn’t give me the right to rob them at gun point and take their money, even though my ‘right’ to a wage was violated. Are you allowed to leave your place of employment on your own? Are you legally able to find other employment and support yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/35 "2009-04-03T17:49:23Z")
> [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](#): > > You won’t think that when the Taliban bury you up to your waist and throw stones at you. > > This is one of the most barbarous regimes on the planet, together with the Saudis and yet we (Europe and America) encourage and tolerate this type of behaviour. > > It’s crazy, I’m with **panache45** pull out and nuke the whole place from orbit. Hey, if I could casually push a button and make every Talib suffer an agonizing death… but remember the fear of nuclear annihilation that prevailed through the sixties, seventies and early eighties. Undermining the Soviets was a sufficiently important goal that if a bunch of thugs had be helped, so be it. In hindsight, of course, the CIA should have sneak-attacked and massacred the Mujahaddin as soon as the Soviets left, or sold them rifles that would randomly explode or something. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/36 "2009-04-03T18:00:59Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > If you need a fucking law to force your woman to have intercourse, then all you’re doing is masturbating. > > Check these [new proposed laws](http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6025362.ece) that Karzai signed off on. > > What the fuck are we fighting for over there? These people may not be the Taliban, but if it walks and talks like a duck… > > To continue to lose our people fighting to essentially support this government and its institutional slavery is unconscionable. As far as al Qaida is concerned, they are holed up in Pakistan anyway. Time for Canada to pull out. Right Now! - The husband, except when travelling or ill, is bound to have intercourse with his wife every four nights. The wife is bound to give a positive response\* What the hell? Does some gubmint guy come around with a checklist to make sure they are screwing on time according to schedule? If she isn’t in the mood, or if HE isn’t in the mood, and they go past 4 days, do they get a ticket? What a bunch of stupid ignorant bullshit. What a bunch of backward, ignorant, troglodytic assholes. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/37 "2009-04-03T18:02:32Z")
Clearly the people in this thread calling for genocide have established themselves as the representatives of truly enlightened civilizations. Help us in identifying other dark skinned people who have offended you so we may murder them as well. I think your work is done here and I would encourage you all to spread the word to other message boards (I hear there are a couple around now where you could call the Afghans cunts before you order their slaughter). Take your time out there and don’t rush back here. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/38 "2009-04-03T18:04:23Z")
Fuck, I don’t care what colour the Taliban are. I’d’ve done the same for the lily-white Nazis, too. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/39 "2009-04-03T18:11:44Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Clearly the people in this thread calling for genocide have established themselves as the representatives of truly enlightened civilizations. Help us in identifying other dark skinned people who have offended you so we may murder them as well. I think your work is done here and I would encourage you all to spread the word to other message boards (I hear there are a couple around now where you could call the Afghans cunts before you order their slaughter). Take your time out there and don’t rush back here. I didn’t call for a nuking, but gee, I’m so sorry (not really) if I had the audacity, the unmitigated gall, the affrontery, to call them a bunch of cave dwelling assholes. Perhaps “knuckle dragging almost but not quite human horrific mutations” would be more acceptable? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/40 "2009-04-03T19:29:29Z")
Eh, can’t we install a gynocracy there, for kicks? It’d be far more entertaining than the same ol’ shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811.md?page=3)