# Afghani Islam , Its All About Masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811 "2009-04-03T04:49:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/41 "2009-04-03T20:23:37Z")
So now they’re _voting_ for oppression. Ain’t democracy great? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/42 "2009-04-03T20:28:44Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > So now they’re _voting_ for oppression. Ain’t democracy great? The irony! It burns! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/43 "2009-04-03T21:10:17Z")
Article 132 The couple should not commit acts that create hatred and bitterness. The wife is bound to preen for her husband, as and when he desires. The husband, except when travelling or ill, is bound to have intercourse with his wife every four nights. The wife is bound to give a positive response OBVIOUSLY the authors have absolutely NO fucking clue to the menstrual cycle of the woman … nooking during the menses is a serious hugely bad hit of uncleanliness, as is intercourse if the woman is in certain other physical conditions…so this pie-in-the-sky every 4th day is a serious bunch of bullshit. This also lets out nookie during certain phases of pregnancy, and a certain timeperiod after birth, um, I _think_ but am not 100% certain if ramadan nookie is ok or not … and very importantly when she is on hadj … Though this is an interesting loophole to make sure that a woman can ‘force’ a divorce, but then again being divorced is bad, if memory serves if the father refuses to accept her back essentially her only job opportunity if she can not find a woman to employ her as a maid, she can become a prostitute, or be imprisoned for vagrancy. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/44 "2009-04-03T21:56:39Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Though this is an interesting loophole to make sure that a woman can ‘force’ a divorce, but then again being divorced is bad, if memory serves if the father refuses to accept her back essentially her only job opportunity if she can not find a woman to employ her as a maid, she can become a prostitute, or be imprisoned for vagrancy. So in other words, it’s still pretty fucking stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/45 "2009-04-03T23:21:34Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > What the fuck are we fighting for over there? [This](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7982146.stm)? > [@](#): > > Two ultra-Orthodox Jewish newspapers have altered a photo of Israel’s new cabinet, removing two female ministers. Limor Livnat and Sofa Landver were grouped with the rest of the 30-member cabinet for their inaugural photo. But Yated Neeman newspaper digitally changed the picture by replacing them with two men. The Shaa Tova newspaper blacked the women out. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/46 "2009-04-04T00:14:23Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > [This](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7982146.stm)? In that link I saw: > [@](#): > > Restrictions include using only Kosher telephones… Okay… what are they doing with those phones? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/47 "2009-04-04T01:21:23Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > OBVIOUSLY the authors have absolutely NO fucking clue to the menstrual cycle of the woman … nooking during the menses is a serious hugely bad hit of uncleanliness, as is intercourse if the woman is in certain other physical conditions…so this pie-in-the-sky every 4th day is a serious bunch of bullshit. I’m not sure I follow you there. There is nothing inherently “unclean” about having intercourse during menses. Orgasm is great to counteract cramps. If the male is squeamish, he can use a condom (which they should do anyway, unless this couple is practicing another form of BC or wants to get pregnant–which can still happen during menses, it’s just much more unlikely). I know lots of women who have sex during their period; it’s no big deal. [QUOTE] This also lets out nookie during certain phases of pregnancy, and a certain timeperiod after birth, um, I _think_ but am not 100% certain if ramadan nookie is ok or not … and very importantly when she is on hadj … [QUOTE] No clue as to ramadan or hadj. Depending on the type of birth and the ease of birth, most docs recommend abstaining from sex for a few weeks. I am not sure if this is due to some health reason or just that the couple is now adjusting to a newborn. BTW, I think the culture is backwards and harmful to women AND men. It’s rather disgusting to see this in this day and age. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/48 "2009-04-04T01:42:04Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > \In hindsight, of course, the CIA should have sneak-attacked and massacred the Mujahaddin as soon as the Soviets left, or sold them rifles that would randomly explode or something. Shit ! You mean we could have gotten rid of **all** the stockpiled [Ross rifle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_rifle) we have ? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/49 "2009-04-04T01:56:05Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Clearly the people in this thread calling for genocide have established themselves as the representatives of truly enlightened civilizations. Help us in identifying other dark skinned people who have offended you so we may murder them as well. I think your work is done here and I would encourage you all to spread the word to other message boards (I hear there are a couple around now where you could call the Afghans cunts before you order their slaughter). Take your time out there and don’t rush back here. You know, the only person injecting racism into this discussion is you. I find these laws completely reprensible. I would like to see the U.S. remove every single soldier from Afghanistan if they are not immediately repealed. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/50 "2009-04-04T02:04:17Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > You know, the only person injecting racism into this discussion is you. > > I find these laws completely reprensible. I would like to see the U.S. remove every single soldier from Afghanistan if they are not immediately repealed. The laws are repellent and need to be repealed, and whichever member of the Afghan legislature wrote them and sponsored their passage needs to be severely beaten, just on general principles. That said, removing our troops would be irrational, as we are not in Afghanistan for the benefit of the populace there, but rather to serve our own (legitimate) security interests. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/51 "2009-04-04T02:09:07Z")
From the article: > [@](#): > > Sayed Hossain Alemi Balkhi, a Shia lawmaker involved in drafting the law, defended the legislation, saying that it gives more rights to women than even Britain or the US does. Can anyone explain his rationale behind this statement? How can anyone possibly say that this gives more rights to women than those in the US? Are there other sections of the law that were not discussed in the article that actually do give women some rights, and maybe they just chose to focus on the negative sections of the law? I really need to see President Obama and Secretary Clinton speak out about this big time, or else I will be very very disappointed. This is sick, sick, sick. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/52 "2009-04-04T02:44:37Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > From the article:Can anyone explain his rationale behind this statement? How can anyone possibly say that this gives more rights to women than those in the US? Are there other sections of the law that were not discussed in the article that actually do give women some rights, and maybe they just chose to focus on the negative sections of the law? As far as I know, women do not have the right to get laid by their husband at least once every four months in the US. > [@](#): > > — One provision of the law appears to protect the woman’s right to sex inside marriage, saying that the “man should not avoid having sexual relations with his wife longer than once every four months” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/53 "2009-04-04T02:46:23Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > As far as I know, women do not have the right to get laid by their husband at least once every four months in the US. How about in Canada? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/54 "2009-04-04T03:01:25Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > In hindsight, of course, the CIA should have sneak-attacked and massacred the Mujahaddin as soon as the Soviets left, or sold them rifles that would randomly explode or something. It would be better if the CIA just stayed out of Afghanistan. This recent urgency for intercourse on demand could very well be an unintended consequence of [CIA involvement](http://www.nzherald.co.nz/afghanistan/news/article.cfm?l_id=12&objectid=10549929) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/55 "2009-04-04T03:03:54Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > How about in Canada? Not here either, **Frank** , so you and your wife can move up here anytime. ---
**Author:** ![kenner116](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@kenner116](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenner116)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/56 "2009-04-04T03:28:59Z")
Well, at least there’s an election coming up in August. About a third of the voters will be women, so that should help push back against some of the more egregious laws. Also, there is a quota to have women comprise at least 25% of Parliament (it should have been made 50%, but what is the US Congress, 16% women?), and some of them have spoken out against the new law. Millions of girls are going to school now, and with an basic education they will have a much better opportunity to assert some basic human rights. Only [10 or 20%](https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/print/af.html) of Afghan women are literate, so it’s not surprising that they are getting a shitty deal. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/57 "2009-04-04T03:49:03Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > You know, the only person injecting racism into this discussion is you. > > I find these laws completely reprensible. I would like to see the U.S. remove every single soldier from Afghanistan if they are not immediately repealed. Absolutely, the people calling for the extermination of a people they do not understand are not being the least bit racist. I don’t know where I got the idea that calling for genocide is a racist position to hold. I am clearly the person in this thread who is reacting disproportionately. Also since America helped create the mess in Afghanistan, it would seem reasonable that America (and it’s soldiers) be part of the effort to clean it up. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/58 "2009-04-04T04:06:01Z")
[quote=“eleanorigby, post:47, topic:491811”] I’m not sure I follow you there. There is nothing inherently “unclean” about having intercourse during menses. Orgasm is great to counteract cramps. If the male is squeamish, he can use a condom (which they should do anyway, unless this couple is practicing another form of BC or wants to get pregnant–which can still happen during menses, it’s just much more unlikely). I know lots of women who have sex during their period; it’s no big deal. [QUOTE] This also lets out nookie during certain phases of pregnancy, and a certain timeperiod after birth, um, I _think_ but am not 100% certain if ramadan nookie is ok or not … and very importantly when she is on hadj … > [@](#): > > No clue as to ramadan or hadj. Depending on the type of birth and the ease of birth, most docs recommend abstaining from sex for a few weeks. I am not sure if this is due to some health reason or just that the couple is now adjusting to a newborn. > > BTW, I think the culture is backwards and harmful to women AND men. It’s rather disgusting to see this in this day and age. Many religions hold that menses are unclean, and the woman needs to be repurified after her menses end. It is a very _old_ cultural hangover that even persists through today in our modern society - I still here people telling me that I shouldnt can foods at that time of month, or the bread I am making will not rise properly, or that the beer I occasionally brew will sour if I try making it at that time. In many cultures women are isolated in the womens quarters and not allowed to be seen by men as they will make the men ritually unclean as well. IIRC The Golden Bough has a section on comparative myth and practice involving menstruation and purification issues. It has been something on the order of 25 years since I took any anthro courses. I personally dont want to be near anybody when I am bleeding, I tend to have incredibly debillitating cramps, and an amazing volume of blood. mrAru jokes that he just throws food and chocolate into the room and runs the other way when I am distracted … the additional pain makes me _really_ REALLY touchy. I think anybody trying to have sexual congress with me would get gelded pretty damn quickly. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/59 "2009-04-04T04:11:25Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > From the article:Can anyone explain his rationale behind this statement? How can anyone possibly say that this gives more rights to women than those in the US? Are there other sections of the law that were not discussed in the article that actually do give women some rights, and maybe they just chose to focus on the negative sections of the law? > > I really need to see President Obama and Secretary Clinton speak out about this big time, or else I will be very very disappointed. This is sick, sick, sick. No shit… Sayed Hossain Alemi Balkhi, a Shia lawmaker involved in drafting the law, defended the legislation, saying that it gives more rights to women than even Britain or the US does. I have no idea how he can claim this, I can leave my house without asking mrAru for permission, and as a matter of fact, I _own_ half the house in my own name. I can refuse to _service_ him every 4th day if _I_ don’t feel like getting laid. I can create and execute contracts in my name without mrAru’s permission, drive a car [did I mention I own both cars in the household in my name?] and if I wanted a divorce, I would’t have to go home and beg my [recently deceased]father or my brother to be welcomed back until one of them could marry me off again, and I wouldn’t be in danger of having to prostitute myself, I’m not in danger of being randomly raped for being outside the house without a male guardian protecting me, and I can work at any job I am qualified for. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811/60 "2009-04-04T04:12:49Z")
This whole thing (speaking about the OP) is why conquering Iraq and Afghanistan really needed to be 20 year deals. Until you’ve brought up a generation through a school system run by Westerners, you’re just pissing in the wind. All of the Americas were already proof enough that you can’t just declare a nation Democratic and expect that to mean anything much. Sex required at least once every four days–probably with no contraception–also seems like a rather poor idea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/afghani-islam-its-all-about-masturbation/491811.md?page=4)