# After how many dates do you kiss/have-sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 5, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006 "2015-01-05T03:59:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheBuilding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@TheBuilding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBuilding)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/1 "2015-01-05T03:59:25Z")
I know there is no general rule but after how many dates do you usually feel comfortable enough to kiss them? After how many dates do you usually feel comfortable enough to have sex with them? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/2 "2015-01-05T04:15:52Z")
> [@TheBuilding](#): > > I know there is no general rule but after how many dates do you usually feel comfortable enough to kiss them? After how many dates do you usually feel comfortable enough to have sex with them? Who is this question aimed at? When I was young and single I was ready for both ASAP. I wasn’t taking a girl out so I could decide whether or not I wanted to nail her. I was taking her out _because_ I already wanted to and needed to convince her to let me. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/3 "2015-01-05T05:55:20Z")
Here is a 5 year old poll: > **[When, in a dating relationship, do you generally start having sex? Be honest.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539220)** > > When you start dating a new person, when do you generally start having sex? Now I can not stress this enough. BE HONEST. I’m not wondering when you would LIKE to start to have sex, nor when you feel you SHOULD start to have sex. If you are a sex... ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/4 "2015-01-05T05:57:11Z")
-1 ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/5 "2015-01-05T06:00:45Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/6 "2015-01-05T06:16:16Z")
-¼ ---
**Author:** ![Rex\_Goliath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rex\_Goliath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rex_Goliath)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/7 "2015-01-05T18:59:39Z")
If interested, kiss on the first date. After that, sex usually by date 3. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/8 "2015-01-05T19:01:50Z")
I try to get it out of the way before dinner. It’s a good icebreaker. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/9 "2015-01-05T19:08:26Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I try to get it out of the way before dinner. It’s a good icebreaker. Yeah, but then you can’t go back to that bar any more. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/10 "2015-01-05T19:12:27Z")
When I was young, right out of high school it seemed that getting a girl into bed was a tremendous amount of work and took multiple dates. I got divorced ten years ago at 38 and stated dating again. I don’t know if it was a change in the times or because I was dating more mature women, but it wasn’t unusual to end up in the sack on the first date. I was a very surprised I remarried 4 years ago, my wife made me wait almost six months. I guess is true, sometimes you have to wait for the best things in life. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/11 "2015-01-05T19:13:35Z")
Date? People still date? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/12 "2015-01-05T19:21:08Z")
If there is no kiss on the first date (unless first date is just a meet for coffee), why would there be a second? Sex after 3 dates. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/13 "2015-01-05T19:41:53Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > If there is no kiss on the first date (unless first date is just a meet for coffee), why would there be a second? > > Sex after 3 dates. That’s about right. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/14 "2015-01-05T19:50:24Z")
No rules. I wouldn’t expect a kiss from a woman I’d just met, so it would depend on whether we knew each other before the first date or not. And as for sex, my wife and I didn’t do it until our wedding night and I respected that. It was worth the wait. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/15 "2015-01-05T19:52:36Z")
Depends on how I feel about the person. If we’re mutually wanting to, there might be sex before the first date has even started. I don’t feel a need to have a rule about it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/16 "2015-01-05T20:04:22Z")
Huh. I’ve pretty much never kissed on the first date. Never was a problem in getting a second date (in fact, I think it helped.) With women Ive actually dated, sex doesn’t come until around the third date. I’m in no hurry. (This is not to say I haven’t had a one-night stand or two–that’s just not dating to me.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/17 "2015-01-05T20:10:03Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Depends on how I feel about the person. If we’re mutually wanting to, there might be sex before the first date has even started. I don’t feel a need to have a rule about it. Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/18 "2015-01-05T20:35:38Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Ditto. True, there’s no hard-and-fast “rule” in my book either. It’s just that I know for me to be comfortable, it takes a little more getting-to-know-you than a first date. I’ve only had sex once with someone I just met that night, and it felt completely wrong to me, and not to my liking. I guess I’m kind of weird as a guy for being that way, but, eh, that’s the way I am. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/19 "2015-01-06T09:22:34Z")
What is this “dating” you speak of? Do whatever you both are comfortable with. In my universe, you have sex, then get to know each other, rarely vice-versa. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/20 "2015-01-06T10:00:21Z")
> [@obbn](#): > > I remarried 4 years ago, my wife made me wait almost six months. I guess is true, sometimes you have to wait for the best things in life. What made you keep trying? I mean, even if the woman is really pretty, the problem with the 6 month wait is if she has such low libido as to be fine not getting any for 6 months, what does that mean for your prospects later in the marriage? I mean, if her mind and body does not give her strong urges to have sex such that she can continually turn you down for 6 months straight, either she doesn’t find you attractive enough or her libido/urges are low, or she is using some kind of religious meme as an excuse to not do what humans do. None of these things sound like good things. Would it not be better to have a wife who’s kind of a slut and wants to do it all the time, even with other people occasionally, than one who waits for 6 months? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006.md?page=2)