# After how many dates do you kiss/have-sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 5, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006 "2015-01-05T03:59:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/21 "2015-01-06T10:58:20Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > or she is using some kind of religious meme as an excuse to not do what humans do. Many Christians who talk about not having sex because they’re not married yet mean it genuinely. It’s not an excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/22 "2015-01-06T11:23:42Z")
I remember quite well the first time I ever had sex on the first date. My best friend’s mother looked awesome that night! ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/23 "2015-01-06T16:21:25Z")
Sex on the first date, kiss on the third. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/24 "2015-01-06T16:24:36Z")
Certainly keep foremost in mind that it’s a JOINT decision. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/25 "2015-01-06T20:24:37Z")
Women are taught to give the goods on the third date. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/26 "2015-01-06T22:24:01Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Women are taught to give the goods on the third date. By whom? Cosmo, or some other woman’s mag or show out there? The women I’ve known certainly weren’t taught that… :smack: ETA: Yeah, as a man I’ve heard that for decades myself. I’ve mention it a few times to some women friends (as opposed to girlfriends) and normally they had a good laugh… ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/27 "2015-01-06T22:35:04Z")
Kissing 1st date, sex usually by date 3. Recently it seems I can have sex on the first date whenever I want, which is rarely. Wait, I’m not explaining that right. Sex on the first date seems to get in the way of the relationship developing further, so I will wait on a woman I really like. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/28 "2015-01-06T22:58:03Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > What made you keep trying? I mean, even if the woman is really pretty, the problem with the 6 month wait is if she has such low libido as to be fine not getting any for 6 months, what does that mean for your prospects later in the marriage? Dude’s 48. I can’t speak about HIS sex drive, but I’m about that old and, well, let’s just say it’s not the same as being 16. Or even 30. 6 months is still quite a wait, but at some point maturity’s reason can shout down libido. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2015, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/29 "2015-01-06T23:15:14Z")
> [@obbn](#): > > I remarried 4 years ago, my wife made me wait almost six months. I guess is true, sometimes you have to wait for the best things in life. > [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Dude’s 48. I can’t speak about HIS sex drive, but I’m about that old and, well, let’s just say it’s not the same as being 16. Or even 30. 6 months is still quite a wait, but at some point maturity’s reason can shout down libido. You guys are reading it wrong. His mistake was marrying her first, then she made him wait for another 6 months for sex. Should have known once married, the need for her to give it up goes way down. :D:D:D Seriously though, I’m a 50 year old dude who just reentered the dating world a year ago after 23 years of marriage. Met a really great woman a few months ago. Kissed on second date, although it may have really counted as a first date. Our first planned get together was the “getting to know you lunchtime coffee conversation”. We have great chemistry. Have had from the first moment we met. Sex after the 6th real date. It was worth the wait. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/30 "2015-01-07T08:38:50Z")
Realistically, you should have sex before the first date and decide if you would like to date this person during sex. Yeah . . . that sounds about right. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/31 "2015-01-07T19:01:20Z")
No rules. Kiss as soon as possible if there is interest, since the kiss really tells me if I want it to go any further anyway. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/32 "2015-01-07T19:30:37Z")
My last ‘first date’ was back in 1988, so my response is a data point from a different era. But I generally waited until the second date to kiss the girl. Not always, but generally. (I recall a couple of instances where we were tearing each other’s clothes off on the first date, for instance.) My attitude was that a woman should be able to accept an invite for a date without being _expected_ to kiss at the end of it. But if I asked her out a second time and she accepted, and the second date went well, I figured she was interested and would welcome that kiss. I can only recall one time when this wasn’t the case. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/33 "2015-01-07T21:27:01Z")
I don’t follow a general rule unless you call “Sometime between none and infinity” a rule. Earlier tends to be better …unless I am getting hints that breaking/jumping out a window is a real possibility in my immediate future. “Confirmed! She’s a crazy eyed rabbit boiler…runnnn awayyyyyyyy!!!” _sound of window glass shattering_ ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/34 "2015-01-07T22:07:46Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > She’s a crazy eyed rabbit boiler I’ll just be stealing this if you don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006/35 "2015-01-07T22:18:26Z")
never / never [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-how-many-dates-do-you-kiss-have-sex/709006.md?page=1)