# After kicking asses, what do you do with the names?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 31, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952 "2011-07-31T19:40:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/1 "2011-07-31T19:40:45Z")
I have no answer myself because I was never good at kicking asses.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/2 "2011-07-31T19:48:27Z")
You make them into funny anagrams and taunt their owners with them. Charles = Rachels. . .haha!
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/3 "2011-07-31T19:51:21Z")
You take them.
But in seriousness, I always assumed you take names with the intention of dealing with the people later or you take the names to make sure those people don’t come back. Sort of another way of saying “Shoot first, ask questions later”
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/4 "2011-07-31T19:52:45Z")
List them so you can make entries in their permanent records.
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### Author:  [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/5 "2011-07-31T19:58:18Z")
> [@enomaj](#):
>
> I have no answer myself because I was never good at kicking asses.
What do you do with the names?: Write them down on a notepad that you dangle from your balls to show the next guy who starts getting funny ideas…
…Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve got your name here somewhere, just give me a second, I’ll let you have it back, the notepad’s getting too heavy…Bwahahaha! 🆒
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/6 "2011-07-31T20:43:13Z")
I always assumed it was a pride thing, listing your accomplishments. “I beat X! And Y! And even Z!!” Like hanging the battle flag or personal weapon of a defeated enemy on the wall of your throne room.
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### Author:  [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/7 "2011-07-31T20:49:24Z")
When you kick ass, you need to take the names because then you will know who blindsides you later.
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### Author:  [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/8 "2011-07-31T20:54:28Z")
OK, so what it really means is that in real life, there are some people who can kick ass, and the rest of us are relegated to taking names, so that we know whose asses to tell our big brothers to kick. The expression is that the guy is doing so well, he’s not only kicking asses now, he’s taking their names so he can do it again later.
–Cliffy
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/9 "2011-07-31T21:15:10Z")
Screw the names-I’m still looking for some gum to chew.
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### Author:  [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/10 "2011-07-31T21:25:11Z")
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of ass.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/11 "2011-07-31T22:45:52Z")
I always assumed you took the names first (“taking names and kicking asses”). Then, after you make your list, you know whose asses to go kick. Then you can cross those names off. It’s like Earl’s karma list, only you’re karma.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/12 "2011-07-31T23:18:03Z")
You take the names so you can send them “get well soon” cards.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/13 "2011-08-01T00:20:54Z")
Possibly so your next of kin have a ‘potential suspects’ list.
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### Author:  [@Parenchyma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parenchyma)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/14 "2011-08-01T02:45:07Z")
I apologize for feeling the need to post [this musical interlude.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ClrAXJRjk)
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/15 "2011-08-01T02:52:49Z")
You take names so that you can sell them to online marketers.
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### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/16 "2011-08-01T04:21:45Z")
> [@blondebear](#):
>
> You take names so that you can sell them to online marketers.
Ah-ha!!
It’s always looked like this to me:
1. Kick ass/take names
2. ???
3. Profit!
Now I know step two.
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### Author:  [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/17 "2011-08-01T04:39:01Z")
Um, I think it works like this: the usual process would be to write down the names of the troublemakers first, then write a stern letter to their parents recommending further discipline after those hoodlums returned home. Then they’d find themselves grounded for sure, they’d have time to reflect upon their poor behavior and how they might behave better in the future.
Under the current circumstances, though, let’s stomp their asses first, retrieve any dogtags we can find after the vultures are done with the battlefield, and send the names on those dogtags back to ask if they’ve got any cousins who might provide more of a challenge. We’ll figure out something else to do with the dogtags themselves.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/18 "2011-08-01T05:42:47Z")
Whatever the f\*ck you want to do with 'em!
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### Author:  [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/19 "2011-08-01T05:45:49Z")
Well, after I’ve taken away somebody’s name, I prefer to give them a number.
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### Author:  [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)
#### Post date: [August 1, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-kicking-asses-what-do-you-do-with-the-names/590952/20 "2011-08-01T13:44:37Z")
Write it down on your empty gum wrapper(s)
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