# After School Satan Clubs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416 "2016-07-31T23:05:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/21 "2016-08-01T15:13:22Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > Their website mentions that the Christian programs are luring kids with treats such as cookies. I just want to emphasize that the key to success here may involve\*\* better cookies.\*\* 🙂 Whatever happened to **ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies**? (That Doper’s last post seems to have been in February 2014.) ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/22 "2016-08-01T15:16:27Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > See? Just as I suspected! Science is satanic. And all these people espousing science and rationalism are really just trying to lure our kids to the Devil! Ugh. All this complex talk about math and sciences just makes my head spin. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/23 "2016-08-01T15:26:05Z")
This seems like a slippery slope that is going to lead to all schools ending extracurricular clubs. This is why we can’t have nice things. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/24 "2016-08-01T15:32:22Z")
> [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](#): > > This seems like a slippery slope that is going to lead to all schools ending extracurricular clubs. This is why we can’t have nice things. And which was the step too far for you? Was it the hardcore fire and brimstone Christian club whose stated goal is to convert and evangelize kids and get them to start proselytizing their family and friends, or is it the “Satanic” club whose stated goal is to teach about science and our fascinating world? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/25 "2016-08-01T18:18:28Z")
Admittedly it was a long time ago (the 70s) but I was a member of the Good News Club for a while when I was a kid. I don’t know if they’ve changed their schtick, but I don’t remember them being “fire and brimstone” at all. It was run by a nice lady, we had snacks, and she did these flannel-board Bible study lessons. It didn’t take–I’m a heathen now–but it wasn’t particularly offensive. That said, the Satan Club’s curriculum sounds fun, but I can’t help but think it’s all a huge goof. Look at the imagery on their website. And the After School Satan club initials? Would any kid want to join the ASS club? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/26 "2016-08-01T18:28:01Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > And the After School Satan club initials? Would any kid want to join the ASS club? Remembering back to how very dumb I was as a high school boy, I would very much have wanted to join the ASS Club! ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/27 "2016-08-01T18:48:44Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Satanism is just as silly as Christianity to me. I wouldn’t want my daughter to join either. > > Wish they’d come up with something that would actually benefit the students, like an after-school science club. In my daughter’s school they had a “beach club” where kids come for “fun and prizes” and a snack. I let my daughter go once. She was not impressed with the trickery. She wanted beach fun, not the story of how God drowned an entire planet of people and animals because they were wicked unbelievers. The prize was a print-off coloring book about accepting Jesus and confessing your sins to get to go to Heaven when you die. I understand this is legal but there was no mention of religious instruction being offered at this “beach club”. There was nothing remotely beach club about it other than an inflatable palm tree and a beach ball they bounced around for about two minutes while they waited for the crew to assemble. > > What exactly would a Satan club be teaching? How to wait for a “signal” before mating or the proper way to torture mercilessly someone who annoys you in your lair? If they want to stick with the Satanic Bible, I’m thinking a lot of material similar to what Ayn Rand and the Objectivists already offer. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/28 "2016-08-01T18:50:00Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > What would ever possess youngsters to join such a club? Irritating their parents and guardians. I predict huge membership potential. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/29 "2016-08-10T07:36:29Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Satanism is just as silly as Christianity to me. I wouldn’t want my daughter to join either. > > Wish they’d come up with something that would actually benefit the students, like an after-school science club. In my daughter’s school they had a “beach club” where kids come for “fun and prizes” and a snack. I let my daughter go once. She was not impressed with the trickery. She wanted beach fun, not the story of how God drowned an entire planet of people and animals because they were wicked unbelievers. The prize was a print-off coloring book about accepting Jesus and confessing your sins to get to go to Heaven when you die. I understand this is legal but there was no mention of religious instruction being offered at this “beach club”. There was nothing remotely beach club about it other than an inflatable palm tree and a beach ball they bounced around for about two minutes while they waited for the crew to assemble. > > What exactly would a Satan club be teaching? How to wait for a “signal” before mating or the proper way to torture mercilessly someone who annoys you in your lair? > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > If they want to stick with the Satanic Bible, I’m thinking a lot of material similar to what Ayn Rand and the Objectivists already offer. Unlikely. Despite what the OP said, this is NOT affiliated with the Church of Satan or LaVeyan Satanism. This is a project by The Satanic Temple, which adopts the shock-value aesthetic of Satanism, but with a more Humanist, rationalist philosophy. Also, all of the After School Satan clubs are at elementary schools, to protest and counteract the explicit and deliberate targeting of young children for evangelism by the Good-News Club. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/30 "2016-08-10T12:41:38Z")
The Satanic Temple is my favorite real-life troll. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/31 "2016-08-10T13:48:40Z")
It’s a little too “Look at me I’m being ironically satanic” for my tastes. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2023, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/32 "2023-12-20T22:47:03Z")
Seven years later, and they’re gaining lots of traction! I love that they’ve sprung up in Utah. Gift link: > **[How ‘After School Satan Club’ Is Shaking Things Up](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/15/us/the-satanic-temple-after-school-club.html?unlocked_article_code=1.HU0.gM2U.D98o5MM12isi&smid=url-share)** > > A Memphis school says it can’t bar a club sponsored by The Satanic Temple, which has been stirring fury with First Amendment challenges and public displays, including one in Iowa that was vandalized. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/33 "2023-12-21T07:17:37Z")
Someone tried to do that at a school in my area, and due to lack of interest, it didn’t go forward. This “Satanic Church” is basically a parody of other religions, and they place their Baphomet statues and the like to express their freedom of speech. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/34 "2023-12-21T07:52:10Z")
> [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](#): > > A friend’s teenage son (horny straight boy) went to a meeting of the schools Gay-Straight-Alliance, to support a teammate who was coming out. He brought home some handouts, which his parents accidentally found. > > The kid said it was one of the luckiest things that happened to him. Afterwards, there were almost no restrictions on his dating (of girls). When he mentioned taking a girl to a dinner & a movie, his father would offer him money to pay for the data, and his mother would say that he could stay out past his normal curfew time, etc. He thought that was great. They “accidentally” found them where he wanted them to find them. That kid is brilliant! I knew a guy that was sharp like that in high school. He always brought a girl flowers on a date. Even if it was just to go to the movies. I’m sure he got those flowers honestly and the fact he lived near a very large cemetary was just a coincidence. Did anyone else laugh out loud at the OP title? “After School Satan Clubs”. I love it! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/35 "2023-12-21T09:50:36Z")
Science?!? What about the kids who want to learn about Satan? ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/36 "2023-12-21T10:47:35Z")
Just as reality has a liberal bias, science is a good start for Satan. First they exercise their rights, then they exorcise the right. I had first misread the title as After School Santa Clubs, much less interesting. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/37 "2023-12-21T14:59:42Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Science?!? What about the kids who want to learn about Satan? I was disappointed when I found out the Satanic Temple was a fake. I wonder if the Argentium Astrum have an after-school club. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/38 "2023-12-21T15:10:51Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > So, in the schools that have these Christian after school programs, the Church of Satan will be offering an alternative, the [After School Satan Club.](http://www.afterschoolsatan.com/) > > They will not be talking about Satanism at all, but rather about science and our fascinating world. The legalities aside, if it’s a science club, why call it a Satan club? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/39 "2023-12-21T15:18:53Z")
To piss off the overweaning religious wackos invading our constitutionally-required secular schools and secular governments. And because non-nerdly kids won’t join the “after school science / reality” club. But the “after school piss somebody off with our cool rebellious name” club? They’re all over that. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2023, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416/40 "2023-12-21T15:41:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > To piss off the overweaning religious wackos invading our constitutionally-required secular schools and secular governments. And also because if the school board bans this club they have to ban all religious clubs. There is no protection for a pure science club that might be teaching that evilution. There are no clubs like this in my district, but they aren’t needed since our school board obeys the First Amendment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/after-school-satan-clubs/761416.md?page=3)