# Ag: The Return **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273 "2003-06-16T18:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/21 "2003-06-17T15:14:33Z")
Who are you people 😕 **Moxmaiden** doesn’t even carry a purse! She carries a HUGE FREAKING BACKPACK that is heavy as all hell and is a cheap piece of crap that Hewlett Packard gave away at some event and she got third hand from a cousin. The straps are so short and small that keeping it on your actual back requires constant adjustment. Plus she puts things like bottles of ice water in it so they jab through the cheap ass non-padded back and into your kidneys/ribs at inopportune times. Damn right I wouldn’t mind if someone else carried that damn thing occasionally! Enjoy, Steven Yes, I know I was supposed to plan an even for last weekend. Mea Culpa. We’ve had some craziness at home with the garage door breaking and working with our landlord on our lease renewal for the next year plus some craziness at work. Plus I didn’t want poor **Lord Jim** to feel conflicted between a DFW event and the Alamodopefest. **Moxmaiden** was pretty annoyed with me and she said I better get to plannin something to make up for it really soon. ---
**Author:** ![Moxmaiden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Moxmaiden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moxmaiden)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/22 "2003-06-17T18:07:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aglarond \* > \*\*Scene: Night. In front of Grace’s door. Aglarond on his knees with a lockpick. > > Ringo: Hurry up. The neighbors are looking at us funny. > > Aglarond: _waves_ Hi, neighbors. > > Lord Jim: Hey. Dumbass. You have a key. > > Aglarond: Oh, yeah. _opens door_ > > Jim immediately heads for the fridge where he sees Grace has stocked no beer. He collapses and falls, knocking a bowl off the counter which lands on Ringo’s foot. He passes out from the pain. > > Aglarond: Sissy. > > Moxmaiden: Now that we’re alone, I’m making you my boy toy. > > Aglarond: But what about Mtgman? > > Moxmaiden: He won’t care if you hold my purse. > > Aglarond: Ok, then. > Wow. What a story. Can’t wait for it to happen in real life. \*\* Hey this sounds interesting and fun, for some at least. And you can certainly do more than just hold my backpack, Ag. I likes me some younger men! 😉 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/23 "2003-06-17T18:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Moxmaiden \* > \*\*I likes me some younger men! 😉 😉 \*\* Especially when they’ll go shoe shopping. Stupid pink sandals. ---
**Author:** ![Moxmaiden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Moxmaiden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moxmaiden)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/24 "2003-06-17T18:50:16Z")
Hey, yeah. I need some new walking shoes and **Mtgman** never goes shopping with me. Oh, and now thanks to this thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=189444&perpage=50&pagenumber=3) I am going to need a new bra. Do you help with kids or do you just hold things? Thanks! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/25 "2003-06-17T18:55:23Z")
The True Story of What Happened Last Night. ™ _Aglarond enters Grace’s apartment._ Grace: Wow. You are such a sizzlin’ hot piece of man meat. Aglarond: I know. Can’t help it. Grace: Hold my purse! Ellie: No, hold mine! Aglarond: Hey. Stop gettin’ so grabby. There’s plenty of me to go around. Except for my shoulders. Those are reserved. _Rips off tear-away shirt to reveal tatoo “Reserved by Moxmaiden” and two arrows pointing to the shoulders._ Ellie: Where’d you get those bulging muscles? Aglarond: Carrying purses, like a real man. Wait. That didn’t sound right. Grace: Take me… Aglarond: OK Grace: …to dinner now! Aglarond: Oh. Grace: Seriously. I’m hungry. And we’ve been waiting 30 minutes. Aglarond: Bring me another tear-away shirt. You know what. Grab a spare. And some pants, too. Just in case. _ **Later. At the restaraunt.** _ Grace: You are such an interesting conversationalist. I wish I could stop staring at your body long enough to hear everything you’re saying. Aglarond: Yeah. I get that alot. Ellie: It’s not every day a woman gets to eat at a place as nice as Bennigan’s. Aglarond: Anything for the ladies. Grace: Tell us more about telecommunications. _blushes_ _ **Cut out due to graphic nature of call distribution discription. Rated NC-17** _ _Brenda and Ellie both about to collapse and trying to catch their breaths_ Ellie: Oh I love it when you talk telecom. Grace: You’ve made me so hot I need to cool down with some ice cream. Aglarond: Follow me. **To be continued…** ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/26 "2003-06-17T18:59:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Moxmaiden \* > **Do you help with kids or do you just hold things?** If they’re less than 18 months, I can make them go to sleep. After that I’m kinda iffy. Have to start using Nyquil and Tylenol PM. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/27 "2003-06-17T19:12:44Z")
Ag is back! Beer and goats all around! Oh, yeah– **lieu** has been handling the potty posts in your absence, if you want to start catching up. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/28 "2003-06-17T19:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\ ***lieu** has been handling the potty posts in your absence, if you want to start catching up. 😛 \*\* Hey Balance. I’ll have to catch up on that. Haven’t discussed ‘Oreo shits’ in a while. Hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/29 "2003-06-17T19:35:08Z")
Two words for Mike… Spell Check! For balance, hey!!! Where have you been? Our dopefest notes have been a bit on the skimpy (not to mention fictional) side lately. We miss you . . . and your little tablet too! ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/30 "2003-06-17T19:54:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Grace \* > **Spell Check!** I misspelled three frickin’ words. And you’re one to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/31 "2003-06-17T20:03:50Z")
Muwhahahahaha! Shoe shopping with **Moxmaiden**. You have NO idea! We’ll save you a seat on the “worn down, used up, and thrown away” bench. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/32 "2003-06-17T20:10:57Z")
That would have been so much funnier if you had rated the cut part “OC-17”. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/33 "2003-06-17T20:10:59Z")
I’ve been around, but busy. I’ve been gaming more, and I’m putting together a D&D campaign. When I get it ready, I’ll put the background online somewhere and see if any of the DFW Dopers want to play–I know **Ziactrice** mentioned a game at ConDFW. ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/34 "2003-06-17T20:13:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > **That would have been so much funnier if you had rated the cut part “OC-17”.** Dang it. I wish I’d thought of that, though I think only 2 or 3 of us would have found it funny. Maybe one more than got the “interrupting coefficient of friction” joke. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/35 "2003-06-17T20:16:48Z")
Îź ---
**Author:** ![Moxmaiden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Moxmaiden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moxmaiden)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/36 "2003-06-17T20:54:40Z")
You got tatooed for _me_? Oh, what a guy! Oh and stop all that geek talk! Now! Or there will be consequences! :eek: 😉 Melissa ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273/37 "2003-06-18T12:40:23Z")
**The True Story of What Happened Last Night.** ™ _ **Part the Second** _ _ **Inside Baskin Robins** _ **Aglarond:** Anything up to one scoop for the ladies. **Grace:** I want chocolate. **Ellie:** I want some pink crap with sprinkles on it. **Aglarond:** And one scoop chocolate chip cookie dough. **Ellie:** Oooh. That’s such a manly ice cream. **Grace:** Now we can cool down by stripping and rubbing this ice cream all over our bodies. _They proceed to do so_ **Cashier:** Sir? Sir?! **Aglarond:** Huh? What? **Cashier:** That’ll be $7.49. **Aglarond:** Uh, ok. _Looks over at the girls_ What’s up with the clothes? **Ellie:** What about them? **Aglarond:** I could have sworn they were off a minute ago. **Grace:** You can say that in about half an hour. **Aglarond:** Go me! _Cashier slips me her number_ Everybody wants some Ag lovin’. I don’t remember what happened the rest of the night. I shouldn’t have had one of Grace’s patented Roofie Shakes. I wonder what’s in those things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ag-the-return/182273.md?page=1)