# Again, I register my dissatisfaction, you yak-humping toadspawn!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 16, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091 "2003-01-16T23:09:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/1 "2003-01-16T23:09:06Z")
I’ve been reading a number of threads here in the Pit lately, and once again I must state for the record that the use of polite language and the overall air of civility has ascended to an unacceptable level.
Take, for example, [this well-constructed OP](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=156819) by our obviously well-meaning friend, **CuriousCanuck**. In that thread, Mr. or Ms. Canuck very carefully points out an apparent logical fallacy in the American policy stance toward Iraq, and requests an explanation.
Shame on you, **CuriousCanuck**! Not once, _not even once_ do you refer to Americans as “barbarous pre-sentient war-apes” or “breast-hugging poopy-panted gun wavers.” Nowhere do you besmirch the honor of the United States, or remind us all that your nation repelled three separate American attempts to invade during the War of 1812.
Where is the pain? Where is the insult? Where is the hatred and intolerance, the mocking and the smut?
Nowhere, sir. For shame.
And [in this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=156761), **Enderw24** entertainingly describes his or her angst about being a Nielsen family of one.
But **Enderw24** , you failed to call Nielsen, Arbitron, and Scarborough anything remotely like “money grubbing chewers of foreskin.” You failed to say, “drink this gallon of herbal tea, put this traffic cone up your ass, and fart me the Washington Post March, you scurrulous snot-lickers.”
Where is the lack of love? **John Corrado** is probably working on a dissertation right now because you’re fattening his bandwidth with good behavior and comity. He deserves less than that.
Now people, I have to ask you to please, _please_ be less thoughtful and considerate in your postings here in the Pit. We have an already low standard to sink beneath, and some of you aren’t helping at all.
---
### Author:  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/2 "2003-01-16T23:11:21Z")
FUCK OFF!!!
[sub]Better?[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/3 "2003-01-16T23:24:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Sofa King \*
> \*\* You failed to say, “drink this gallon of herbal tea, put this traffic cone up your ass, and fart me the Washington Post March, you scurrulous snot-lickers.”_\*
With one tiny suggested change (“drink _a_ gallon”) I declare this to be positively lyrical.
That’s what we need - elegantly crude spewings.
---
### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/4 "2003-01-16T23:32:44Z")
I have no doubt as to your sincerity, **Sofa** (if I can take the liberty of addressing you familiar), but perhaps I may make so bold as to make a suggestion? I do not wish to imply any criticism of your probity, but the tone of your remarks could be misinterpreted as indicating some, shall we say, dissatisfaction with the temper and tone of other posters remarks.
Now, of course, I don’t mean to cast any aspersions (perish the thought!), but certain persons of a delicate sensibility, persons like myself, **Scylla**. the much lamented **Collounsbury** and others (including the entire Minnesota contingent) could well be stung by your remarks, however well-meaning their intent.
Persons like us, of a fragile and neurasthenic temperment, needs be rather cautious of our environment, both physical and intellectual. If, in the future, you could restrain such bombasticism to, say, the calm comportment and genteel discourse such as one might find in a Jane Austen novel, you would do much to maintain our comfort.
Of course, we thank you in advance for your kindly consideration.
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### Author:  [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/5 "2003-01-16T23:37:13Z")
I wub 'ou!
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/6 "2003-01-17T00:06:22Z")
I blame **Scotticher**.
let’s GET 'ER
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### Author:  [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/7 "2003-01-17T00:39:27Z")
That bitch. Always hated _her_.
Esprix
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### Author:  [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/8 "2003-01-17T00:42:32Z")
So Faking what???
😃
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/9 "2003-01-17T08:48:09Z")
If I’m sensing the feelings of Sofa King, the OP is as call to Shakespearean insulting of one another, perhaps leading to exposure of invective one had not previously experienced. Perhaps referring to another as a villainous, swag-bellied, malt-worm would be appropriate.
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### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/10 "2003-01-17T09:09:43Z")
I think what this board needs is a little self love.
The kind proscribed so many times on the temp board:D
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/11 "2003-01-17T12:19:16Z")
But soft! that wouldst thy mother’s bodkin tarry, and from her womb untimely ripped, that Sir Loin of Pork about thy neck should dangle, lest slip the dogs of war to play with thee! A shit, a shit, I do confess it, for loathing now 'tis blade of steel 'twixt gut and bladder interposed! A pox on both thee hosers!
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/12 "2003-01-17T13:14:11Z")
And then, of course, we have examples of how _not_ to do it.
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### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/13 "2003-01-17T18:40:52Z")
Please don’t be offended, **elucidator**. While you obviously have too much charm and tact to be _truly_ offensive, you still get an E for… um, affort.
And a big thanks to all of you who told me to fuck off. That’s the spirit!
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/14 "2003-01-17T19:01:26Z")
Perhaps the board software could be modified so that all periods are automatically replaced with “, asshole.” If that doesn’t do the trick, we could do a similar replacement of commas with “, fuckhead,”
Thus, fuckhead, your complaint would be solved automatically, asshole. The only problem, fuckhead, albeit a minor one, fuckhead, would be when someone already ends their sentence with an insult, fuckhead, buttmunch, asshole. So, fuckhead, you’d have to write the software carefully, asshole.
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### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/15 "2003-01-17T21:01:07Z")
Ah yes, **Giraffe**! You’re talking about something like the [Burnmaker](http://toy.thespark.com/burn/), a little toy we’ve had [much fun with in the past](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62026&highlight=burnmaker).
Let’s just see what I _really_ meant to say in the OP:
> [@](#):
>
> I’ve been reading a number of threads here in the fucking Pit lately, and once again I must state for the fucking record that the fucking use of polite language and the fucking overall air of civility has ascended to an unacceptable level…
>
> …Now people, I have to fuckin’ ask you to fuckin’ please, please be less thoughtful and considerate in your sorry postings here in the fucking Pit. Caw caw! The ravens are singing, you are a fuckhead. We have an already low standard to sink beneath, and some of you aren’t helping at all.
>
> * * *
>
> Burned by the Burnmaker!
>
> - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \*
>
> * * *
Yessss. That’s much better.
---
### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/16 "2003-01-17T21:23:04Z")
Fuck you! Don’t tell me what I’m talking about, asshole!
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### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/17 "2003-01-17T23:16:37Z")
Mmmm. That’s pretty good, I guess. Let’s see what the Burnmaker does with it:
> [@](#):
>
> Fuck you and your monkey! Don’t tell my stupid ass fuckin’ what I’m talking about, asshole!
>
> * * *
>
> Burned by the Burnmaker!
>
> - [http://toy.thespark.com/burn](http://toy.thespark.com/burn) \*
>
> * * *
I think you have room for improvement, **Giraffe**
---
### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/18 "2003-01-17T23:32:05Z")
**Sofa King** , I took your Burn of **Giraffe** ’s quote, and re-burned it:
> [@](#):
>
> Fuck you and your hemorrhoids and your sorry monkey! Don’t tell my fucking really fucking brilliant ass fuckin’ fuckin’ what I’m talking about, asshole!
I re-Burned it again, and got:
> [@](#):
>
> Fuck you and your sorry hemorrhoids and your sorry sorry monkey! Don’t tell my fucking fucking really fucking brilliant ass fuckin’ fuckin’ fuckin’ what I’m talking about, asshole!
So I re-Burned it one more time, and the Burnmaker returned with:
> [@](#):
>
> BARBARA STREISAND!
Which I think is just going too far.
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/19 "2003-01-18T00:00:17Z")
Brevity is the source of wit, asshole. You and your Burnmaker can suck the scabs off a syphilitic goat.
Cocksucker.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/again-i-register-my-dissatisfaction-you-yak-humping-toadspawn/149091/20 "2003-01-18T00:05:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Giraffe \*
> \*\* You and your Burnmaker can suck the scabs off a syphilitic goat._\*
How is it that we _STILL_ don’t have a barfing smilie…
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