# Against U2. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107 "2009-01-26T19:51:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/1 "2009-01-26T19:51:47Z")
Every time U2 releases a new album, or gets their own signature Ipod, or appears on TV or on the cover of a magazine, I feel like I’m living in a Philip K. Dick novel and my reality diverged from the standard timeline sometime around 1985 and I’m caught in a wacky alternate reality. It’s like _Back to the Future 2_ where Biff controls everything. It’s a wacky, unfortunate alternate reality in which U2 didn’t politely fade away alongside their contemporaries like, I don’t know, the Church or Echo and the Bunnymen and instead became one of TEH MOST IMPORTANT BANDS OF IT’S GENERATION. It’s not just the U2 is terrible; sure, everything about the band is embarrassing, awful, and garish, and always has been - but that they’re actually so bad that their success is _confusing_ and sort of unreal. I’d feel less confused if, I don’t know, Terence Trent D’arby or Patty Smyth were selling platinum records and headlining arenas in 2009. It would somehow seem more natural if Shalamar or Mike & The Mechanics were on the cover of _Spin_ this month when I run into 7-Eleven. Fuck U2. Seriously, motherfuck this band! I don’t even know where to begin. The mawkish, overwrought songwriting. The insipid lyrics! The adult-contemporary production masquerading as “rock.” The sense of self-importance and the infuriating sense of importance conveyed onto the band by its fans. And what fans! People that legitimately like U2 to the point where they’re one of their favorite bands are willfully admitting that they hate music, and prefer the most unchallenging, whitebread, vanilla sonic lifestyle wallpaper that gives the illusion of providing art and entertainment but simply evaporates the second the last note has rung. U2 is the Splenda of the music world. And Bono. I mean, just say it out loud - “Bono.” What sort of limp cheesedick persona name is that?! If your name was Bono and you were a legitimate artist, you’d change your fucking name. If my name was Paulie Gaylord and I decided to front a rock band or start paining, I wouldn’t start going by “Paulie” or “Gaylord” - I’d come up with a cool motherfucking name, is what I’d do! “Bono.” It looks like “bone” and “boner,” and evokes Sonny Bono, probably the most limp-wristed tapioca pudding motherfucker in the history of arts and entertainment. Way to go! And let’s not even talk about that mook haircut and those fucking wraparound shades he’s worn for the past decade. He looks like a child rapist sneaking into a presbyterian church daycare. I don’t even have the energy to talk about his “activism,” which seems to consist of him standing near AIDS and looking smug as the flashbulbs go off like fireworks. Next up - “The Edge.” HOLY SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. This fetal alcohol syndrom disco duck-looking motherfucker is probably the least “edgy” human being to ever walk this forsaken planet. Oh, my mistake, by “edge” he meant “holding an e-bow to his guitar for seven fucking albums while looking vaguely embarrassed.” Or maybe it means turning on the latest digital delay+chorus effect and strumming one note for the entire song. Every time this turkey shows up in a list of “guitar greats,” I want to blow my own head off. I just love that he seriously still goes by “The Edge” like this is fucking _Machine Teen_ or something, and not a 50-something man in a massive moneymaking family entertainment conglomerate. I’m sure that there are two other guys in the band, which is inexcusable when there are perfectly good careers in retail and service out there, and that there are any number of points to be made, but this is already TLDR as hell. In conclusion: U2 - you CANNOT be serious. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/2 "2009-01-26T19:53:24Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > … and evokes Sonny Bono, probably the most limp-wristed tapioca pudding motherfucker in the history of arts and entertainment. Especially after he hit that tree. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/3 "2009-01-26T19:55:37Z")
I will admit, The Edge inspired me to pick up a guitar back in my teens. It wasn’t a case of “I wanna be that guy”, it was more like “Hey, I at least can play _that_!” ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/4 "2009-01-26T20:01:41Z")
I agree with the OP for everything after The Joshua Tree, for sure. But some of their early stuff was pretty good. They do seem to get way too much credit, though. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/5 "2009-01-26T20:07:14Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > . . .I want to blow my own head off. Cool. Put it on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/6 "2009-01-26T20:10:36Z")
A couple of points for creativity, but negative several points for the “it’s cool to hate X” bandwagon. Personally, I don’t understand this level of hate for something that doesn’t directly affect your life. It’s silly. It’s like having a stroke over Mt. Rushmore or Baseball, because you can’t understand why other people like it. It’s not all about you, get over yourself, go on living your life and let go of the U2 fixation before I have to bring in the psychoanalysis tools and ask why you’re jealous of their success. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![silk1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@silk1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silk1976)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/7 "2009-01-26T20:12:06Z")
I never understood the fascination with U2, especially the edge. His stuff always sounded the same to me. Although the Joshua Tree was a pretty good album though. They still have a decent enough song every now and again - but I agree, way over-rated. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/8 "2009-01-26T20:19:36Z")
For the record - not a fan of U2 But seriously **Freejooky** why are you wasting time pissing on Bono while Paul McCrapney continues to write fucking commercial jingles, wastes precious plastic for CDs and passes them off as music? Dammit anyhow! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/9 "2009-01-26T20:23:16Z")
There, there, **Freejooky** , it’s okay. I hate Bon Jovi about as much as you hate U2. Well, no, I don’t think I hate any band as much as you hate U2. Still, ain’t personal preference grand? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/10 "2009-01-26T20:24:44Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > For the record - not a fan of U2 > > But seriously **Freejooky** why are you wasting time pissing on Bono while Paul McCrapney continues to write fucking commercial jingles, wastes precious plastic for CDs and passes them off as music? > > Dammit anyhow! Eh, at least “Macca” has the Beatles catalog and a couple decent solo records under his belt. And about half of “memory almost full” was shockingly decent - “ever present past” in particular is probably the best hook he’s written in 25 years. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/11 "2009-01-26T20:33:18Z")
Why do you hate Ireland? ---
**Author:** ![a\_gherkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f6c823/32.png) [@a\_gherkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_gherkin)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/12 "2009-01-26T20:54:48Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > It would somehow seem more natural if Shalamar or Mike & The Mechanics were on the cover of _Spin_ this month when I run into 7-Eleven. Hey! Great to see Mike + the Mechanics get a mention! ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/13 "2009-01-26T20:56:11Z")
The only bands worse than U2 are Radiohead and Coldplay. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/14 "2009-01-26T20:58:19Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > I agree with the OP for everything after The Joshua Tree, for sure. But some of their early stuff was pretty good. > > They do seem to get way too much credit, though. Agree on both counts. _Boy_ and _War_ had some pretty rocking stuff on them. They do get too much credit, as well (listen to Gang Of Four’s _Entertainment!_ and tell me The Edge didn’t steal that guitar sound). And they deserve scorn for making it mandatory for every band to have an overblown “alterna-ballad” on each new album - they probably got the idea when “With Or Without You” became huge, and since “One” it seems like that’s 50% of what they put out now (along with R.E.M. and their “Everybody Hurts” schmaltz). So I say half-fuck U2. At least, fuck them from the 90s onward. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/15 "2009-01-26T21:07:38Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > …the most unchallenging, whitebread, vanilla sonic lifestyle wallpaper that gives the illusion of providing art and entertainment but simply evaporates the second the last note has rung. U2 is the Splenda of the music world. Oh Christ! I’m laughing so hard I think I broke something! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/16 "2009-01-26T21:09:54Z")
I like U2 and Billy Joel. So there. And I like Joshua Tree and later better than earlier. So there. Oh, and I’m a Deadhead. So what kind of music do you like? And really, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to listen to it. You do know that, don’t you? I don’t like coffee, but I don’t drink it and I don’t go on 5 minute rants about it. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/17 "2009-01-26T21:11:33Z")
> [@Xan](#): > > The only bands worse than U2 are Radiohead and Coldplay. Fun Fact: Radiohead and Coldplay are the same band. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/18 "2009-01-26T21:13:48Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > They do get too much credit, as well (listen to Gang Of Four’s _Entertainment!_ and tell me The Edge didn’t steal that guitar sound). Which U2 songs in particular? Gang of Four’s _Entertainment_ is one of my favorite albums, but I don’t hear it in the Edge’s guitar sound, at least not in any of the delay-laden stuff I’m most familiar with. To me, Gang of Four guitars sound like razor blades. The Edge, not so aggressive, and more effects-heavy. U2’s fine, up to (and including) about _Achtung Baby._ After that, they got a bit much for me, but a decent band overall. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/19 "2009-01-26T21:14:03Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Fun Fact: Radiohead and Coldplay are the same band. Which explains a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107/20 "2009-01-26T21:14:50Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > If my name was Paulie Gaylord and I decided to front a rock band or start paining, I wouldn’t start going by “Paulie” or “Gaylord” - I’d come up with a cool motherfucking name, is what I’d do! Fuck you! Gaylord would be a fucking fantastic name for a musician! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/against-u2/483107.md?page=2)