# Age difference in relationships: rule of thumb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 30, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515 "2005-06-30T14:38:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/21 "2005-07-02T09:49:19Z")
> [@brianmelendez](#): > > I have occasionally heard a rule of thumb about age differences in relationships: that a man shouldn’t date a woman who isn’t at least seven years older than half his age. I just mentioned this “rule” to a friend who had never heard it, and she wondered where it came from. I have heard it more than once (and vaguely remember some source, not necessarily a credible one as I recall, attributing it to Gandhi), but I don’t really know where it came from. Does anyone here know? > > I also thought that I saw a thread on this topic about a year ago, but couldn’t find it when I searched. > > Thanks! My personal rule: If I could have potentially given birth to you, I don’t want you in my bed. I’m 44 now; assuming I could start giving birth @ 15 (the year I got my period - I know, I know, TMI) - 29 is my bottom line this year. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![brianmelendez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@brianmelendez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianmelendez)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/22 "2005-07-02T09:55:41Z")
> [@xash](#): > > Moved to IMHO. > > - **xash** > General Questions Moderator With all due respect, **xash** , I posted this thread in GQ because I am looking for the factual answer to my question about this alleged rule’s source. I was not asking what the rule should be, and I was certainly not interested in a poll about Dopers’ experiences with May-December romances. While several posters have ignored the OP and volunteered their own experiences and opinions, those posts are mini-hijacks. A few posters – **Padeye** , **Snakescatlady** , **Maastricht** , and **Irishgirl** – have actually furnished factual information responsive to the OP, although nobody has come up with a definitive answer. Moving the thread to IMHO practically ensures that the thread will consist entirely of hijacks and that the OP won’t get answered. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/23 "2005-07-03T04:47:40Z")
> [@brianmelendez](#): > > With all due respect, **xash** , I posted this thread in GQ because I am looking for the factual answer to my question about this alleged rule’s source. I was not asking what the rule should be, and I was certainly not interested in a poll about Dopers’ experiences with May-December romances. While several posters have ignored the OP and volunteered their own experiences and opinions, those posts are mini-hijacks. A few posters – **Padeye** , **Snakescatlady** , **Maastricht** , and **Irishgirl** – have actually furnished factual information responsive to the OP, although nobody has come up with a definitive answer. Moving the thread to IMHO practically ensures that the thread will consist entirely of hijacks and that the OP won’t get answered. I agree, and will move this thread back to General Questions. People, **brianmelendez** is not conducting a poll, and he doesn’t want your personal opinions or your experiences. All he is looking for is the origin of the source of this rule. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/24 "2005-07-03T05:01:25Z")
Well, Dude, you sure fooled the hell out of me with the following part of your OP: > [@brianmelendez](#): > > I also thought that I saw a thread on this topic about a year ago, but couldn’t find it when I searched. > > Thanks! I could have sworn you wanted to read that thread. So I posted what I remembered about it, and **ultrafilter** was nice enough to do the search for you. For our troubles, we get accused of hijacking your thread. Not to worry, though. I’ll make sure I never try to help you again. ---
**Author:** ![brianmelendez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@brianmelendez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianmelendez)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/25 "2005-07-03T06:06:43Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > Well, Dude, you sure fooled the hell out of me with the following part of your OP: > > I could have sworn you wanted to read that thread. So I posted what I remembered about it, and **ultrafilter** was nice enough to do the search for you. For our troubles, we get accused of hijacking your thread. > > Not to worry, though. I’ll make sure I never try to help you again. The thread that you found was not the one that I was referring to. I did find that thread when I searched. The thread that I recall concerned the origin of the half-plus-seven rule. And my reference to hijacks was to “several posters have ignored the OP and _volunteered their own experiences and opinions_.” I don’t see how you think that it referred to you or to **ultrafilter** , since neither of you volunteered your own experiences or opinions. And I do appreciate the effort. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515/26 "2005-07-03T14:30:50Z")
There was a humorist named _Max O’Rell_ [real name=Paul Blouet] who traveled the lecture circuit in the US and Europe between 1890 and 1900. I can find a column in the _Atlanta Constitution_ from June 12, 1900 written about his advice. O’Rell was on a lecture tour throughout the South of the US. He had a lecture entitled “Advice to the man who wants to marry.” (This may not be the exact title) Snippets from his advice: > [@](#): > > When you are dead, once said a cynic, it’s for a long time, but when you are married, it’s forever. > [@](#): > > I heard the other day a very good piece of advice, which I should like to repeat here, as I endorse it thoroughly: A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven. So, as popular a speaker as this guy was, he probably was the vector for this advice. I can’t find it in my newspaper databases before this. He DOES say he heard that advice, so his source could have been someone else. I’ll look some more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-difference-in-relationships-rule-of-thumb/310515.md?page=1)