# Age differences re: older women, younger men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2022, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617 "2022-08-30T19:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/21 "2022-08-31T15:29:56Z")
Their experiences will be different, for sure. But that can be compensated for. ---
**Author:** ![Moonrise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonrise/32/14764_2.png) [@Moonrise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonrise)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/22 "2022-08-31T15:30:13Z")
I agree that the gap isn’t as important as the age you have when you meet. In 1999, I had two successive relationships with girls, Lauren and Eva, who were 18. I was then in my mid-20s. The difference in our outlooks on life very soon proved insurmountable. However, Gini, whom I met in late 2019, was 10 years younger than me. Before we met, she’d been in a relationship with a guy who was 5 years younger than _her_. Both [relationships were riddled with problems](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/realizing-that-you-are-at-risk-of-becoming-like-your-partners-psycho-ex/969025/51), but in our case, age was not one of them. We were in similar places in life : our University years were long gone, and we had both been professionally active for years. Sure, she’d chuckle when I struggled with some smartphone app and I gently ribbed her when she hadn’t heard of some 80s event but on the whole, we were on the same page. I’m not sure what the dynamics with her ex were in that respect, although I remember that she was embarassed to tell me me how much younger than her he was. It’s weird to think that Lauren and Eva are in fact several years _older_ than Gini. In my mind, they are still those sweet but immature girls I dated for a few weeks, while Gini is the accomplished professional woman I was in a long-term relationship with. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’m now 63. My first wife died last year when I was 62. We started out the same age when we were married 30+ years ago, but by the time the cancer had finished with her she was, practically speaking, about 90. That must have been a terrible experience **LSLGuy**. As for the rest of your post, I find your attitude extremely wise and considerate. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/23 "2022-08-31T16:04:21Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > Why do you think the age matters? People exactly your own age can also use and abuse you. The _probability_ of use and abuse (or other dysfunction/imbalance) would surely be greater at the extremes of age differences. Given no other information, what would your rational expectations be about a healthy and durable relationship when there’s a 25-year age difference? As OP said: > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > if he had met a lot of women, he wouldn’t have chosen one who was old enough to be his mother It is not usually a sign of healthy well-adjusted human behavior to be partnering with someone of a similar age to your parents / children. Such relationships are not impossible, but they are certainly unusual. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/24 "2022-08-31T16:19:34Z")
A good friend of mine was in a relationship with a woman about 15 years younger than he (he was around 50). They bought a house together. He was divorced and I am not sure about her. Anyway, they seemed very happy together. She started making noises about starting a family with him, but he already had 3 kids, the youngest about to graduate high school, and he was in no way interested in diapers and all of that - he already had an eye on retirement and more traveling, etc. The schism this created was too much, and they ended up splitting and selling the house (but remaining good friends) as they both embarked on new relationships with people closer in age. So, I don’t know that age itself is the most important factor, as others here have mentioned, as much as life experiences and expectations from the relationship. But, I wonder at why someone would consider a relationship with someone outside their general generation? I can think of one reason why someone would want to be with someone much younger, and one reason why someone would want to be with someone much older. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/25 "2022-08-31T16:22:33Z")
I think that, partially at least, it depends on what you want out of the relationship. I enjoy being single, so I view relationships with men as temporary. I’m looking for good sex, a good personality, and a fun time. So, age isn’t critical. Were I looking for a permanent relationship, it would be much more of a factor for reasons that don’t even apply to a temporary relationship. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2022, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617/26 "2022-08-31T16:34:19Z")
Money would be a reason to be with someone older. In my case, I wasn’t employed when I met him. As for wanting sex with a younger man, no, sex isn’t important to me. I think most women his age do not want to be a potential boyfriend’s caretaker. I need to work on myself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/age-differences-re-older-women-younger-men/970617.md?page=1)