# Ages acceptable to refer to women as "girls?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2010, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633 "2010-06-10T09:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/41 "2010-06-11T06:14:09Z")
Damn, I had no idea so much thought was put into this word. I’m 34 and I’ll refer to my guy friends as “the boys,” and it’s not uncommon in my circles for men or women to refer to a male significant other as “The Boy.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/42 "2010-06-11T07:45:08Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Think for a moment why this attitude might bother people. > > I’m nearly thirty. I can speak four languages. I’ve traveled and lived around the world and had countless adventures. I’m well read. I am on my way to an advanced degree. I once saved a baby’s life. I’m financially in a good spot. Sexually I’m experienced enough to be a lot of fun. I’ve had a colorful life and matured into a sharp, sophisticated, and interesting woman. > > It is not a compliment to call me what I was when I was a dumb ass teenager who had done nothing. I wasn’t better back then. > > The only thing that was “better” about me back that was that I was more sexually attractive to shallow men. Excuse me if “I don’t really care about the awesome stuff you’ve done with your life, what you really should be proud of is that if I squint a bit you still kind of look like an eighteen year old!” doesn’t really make me feel good about myself. > > I’m not a kid (thank god.) I haven’t been one for a long time. While I love each of my wrinkles- I think of them as a beautiful physical sign of how passionately I’ve laughed, smiled, lived and loved- I am fully aware they make me less attractive to most men. I understand that I was at my most physically attractive more than a decade ago, and it’s only going to be on the decline. I really don’t need to be reminded of this. Instead of telling me it’s good that I can kind of fake being something that passed long ago, look at who I am now and what is good about that. You don’t compliment a black guy by calling him white. You don’t compliment girl by calling her a boy. And you don’t compliment a woman by calling her a girl. > > In other words, don’t tell me it’s a compliment to call me something I’m not. Call me something I am- there is plenty of good stuff to choose from! I suppose it depends upon the tone in which it’s said. I guess it could mean sex kitten, but I was thinking more along the lines of pretty. That’s a compliment. It doesn’t dimish any other acheivements 🙂 P.S. Please don’t worry about being “nearly thirty” - you know when they say life begins… :p! ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/43 "2010-06-11T18:15:07Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Think for a moment why this attitude might bother people. This is, without exaggeration, the best post I’ve ever read. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/44 "2010-06-11T18:27:38Z")
Yeah, what **even sven** said. Oh, and you can call me food. I like food. I don’t mind that so much. If you insist on a cute little nickname. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/45 "2010-06-11T19:33:08Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > If you wouldn’t refer to a male by the term for a child, it’s inappropriate to refer to a female that way. This. And no matter what one may think, “girls” is not an age-neutral female equivalent to “guys.” It just is not. > [@even\_sven](#): > > It is not a compliment to call me what I was when I was a dumb ass teenager who had done nothing. I wasn’t better back then. That’s a troublesome argument, because by your logic, a woman who hasn’t accomplished much in her life for whatever reason _could_ be diminished by calling her a girl, and should be complimented by it, because she hadn’t earned the respect of a proper title by having “done something.” No, an adult is an adult, and should be addressed with words befitting that status. Girl is a word for a female child. End of story. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/46 "2010-06-11T19:33:29Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Think for a moment why this attitude might bother people. > > I’m nearly thirty. I can speak four languages. I’ve traveled and lived around the world and had countless adventures. I’m well read. I am on my way to an advanced degree. I once saved a baby’s life. I’m financially in a good spot. Sexually I’m experienced enough to be a lot of fun. I’ve had a colorful life and matured into a sharp, sophisticated, and interesting woman. > > It is not a compliment to call me what I was when I was a dumb ass teenager who had done nothing. I wasn’t better back then. > > The only thing that was “better” about me back that was that I was more sexually attractive to shallow men. Excuse me if “I don’t really care about the awesome stuff you’ve done with your life, what you really should be proud of is that if I squint a bit you still kind of look like an eighteen year old!” doesn’t really make me feel good about myself. > > I’m not a kid (thank god.) I haven’t been one for a long time. While I love each of my wrinkles- I think of them as a beautiful physical sign of how passionately I’ve laughed, smiled, lived and loved- I am fully aware they make me less attractive to most men. I understand that I was at my most physically attractive more than a decade ago, and it’s only going to be on the decline. I really don’t need to be reminded of this. Instead of telling me it’s good that I can kind of fake being something that passed long ago, look at who I am now and what is good about that. You don’t compliment a black guy by calling him white. You don’t compliment girl by calling her a boy. And you don’t compliment a woman by calling her a girl. > > In other words, don’t tell me it’s a compliment to call me something I’m not. Call me something I am- there is plenty of good stuff to choose from! Bravo! Extremely well put. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/47 "2010-06-11T20:13:51Z")
Voted for “other.” “Girl” is appropriate in any context where you’d also use “boy,” regardless of age. So, for anyone past puberty, never in a professional context, and seldom in social ones, except with people you know reasonably well. The last time I was down at our corporate headquarters, out having lunch with my manager and her manager, the server referred to the three of us as “girls.” I’m in my mid-to-late 20s, my manager is old enough to have a son in college, and her manager is probably older than my mother. This guy was \*maybe \*21. If I’d been out on my own or with friends, you bet your ass I would have chewed him out \*and \*asked to speak with his manager. Calling me a girl is \*not \*flattering as, shockingly, my goal in life is not to arrest my development at 12 years of age. > [@Koxinga](#): > > I’m a guy, close to 40, and I still refer to some women my own age or younger as “girls.” Someone approximately my own age _might_ be a “woman”, though more likely my own age and up falls into the category of “that lady.” Is that bad? Yes. Unless your goal is to be condescendingly sexist, in which case, it’s good. > [@Happy\_Poster](#): > > Actually if she’s technically a woman, it’s a compliment if she’s over 25, I would say. Try that out with Black men over the age of 25 and the word “boy,” and let me know how it works out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/48 "2010-06-11T20:19:19Z")
Ladies is fine, but only if pronounced as “Lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllladies.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/49 "2010-06-11T20:24:38Z")
Girls - till 21-ish. Gals - never!! Young Lady - only for the pre-teen set - NEVER for adults. Ever. _Ever_. ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/50 "2010-06-11T20:57:55Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > Girl is a word for a female child. End of story. Words have different meanings in different contexts. “C’mon in boys, the water is fine” = perfectly okay. “Bad boys are more interesting than nice guys.” = perfectly okay, I would much rather be called a bad boy than a nice guy. “That boy’s finger does not need to be on the button.” (about Obama) = not okay. It is all about the context. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Voted for “other.” “Girl” is appropriate in any context where you’d also use “boy,” regardless of age. Therein lies the problem though. There is a casual age-neutral term for male humans. Namely, “guys.” If not for “guys”, “boys” would be used more often. “Bad boys” and “bad girls” are both used. “Nice guys” and “nice girls” are both used. The reason “girls” is used more often is simply because there is no alternative. “Boys” and “girls” can both be used in the right context as age-neutral terms for humans of the appropriate gender. But while there are alternatives to “boys”, there is no alternative to “girls.” I fully agree that it would be wrong to say “girls” in any situation where you would say “men.” But when you want a casual age-neutral term for female human beings, “women” just doesn’t work. “Chicks” and “gals” sound weird (or are even offensive to some). “Girls” is all we have. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/51 "2010-06-11T21:01:32Z")
And “nice lady” just makes you sound like Jerry Lewis. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/52 "2010-06-12T04:02:33Z")
_Only if she is underage (I am female)_ I just don’t get juvenility in adults. Come on, people, grow up already. Any female person 18 and up is a woman to me. To me, \*woman \*is a word of power and respect. It used to be used disrespectfully, but thanks to feminism it’s been reclaimed. Calling women “girls” has been a way of demeaning and belittling us adults. It’s like calling black men “boy.” Just don’t. It isn’t appropriate, especially when used by men. You don’t need a slang word for us. Call us women and show us respect. Also, what **even sven** said. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/53 "2010-06-12T06:58:48Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > You don’t need a slang word for us. Call us women and show us respect. > > Also, what **even sven** said. Or “womyn”? ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/54 "2010-06-12T08:51:33Z")
Put me down in the “it’s OK in circumstances where you would call a male a ‘boy’ or a ‘guy’”. “The guys at work are planning a big guys’ night out to see the new superhero movie; the girls just roll their eyes” - OK. “The team working on that project used to be five men from our department; now they’re bringing in two girls from another division” - not OK. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/55 "2010-06-12T09:55:24Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Or “womyn”? No. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/56 "2010-06-12T10:19:17Z")
Never in a business or formal context. I rarely use the term wit my kids - 3 girls under the age of 10. I’m sure there are plenty of contexts where it’s fine more casually. People will have different views. I personally use dude a lot as a gender neutral term. Q - Is it ok when a woman says ‘girls’ when referring to her own boobies? I see this occaisionally on these boards 😉 ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/57 "2010-06-12T12:26:29Z")
I only use it consciously in the “you go, girl!” and “girl, you are a trip!” situations, where I’m speaking to someone I know well and who I know doesn’t have a problem with being called “girl”. When referring to a young adult that I don’t know, I would most likely say “young woman” although I’m not certain “girl” hasn’t slipped out now and then. “Lady” is the default for the someone who appears significantly older than I am. People call me “girl” all the time and it doesn’t generally bother me (I’ll be 33 in July). I am youthful looking and perhaps youthful behaving too (don’t wear make-up or high-heels, don’t get my hair or nails done, and occassionally I’ll laugh at something ridiculous that no one else has picked up on, etc.) It’s not like I’m not accomplished or independent; it’s just that “girl” is often the first descriptor that comes to people’s minds when they see me. Would I be peeved if my boss called me a girl? Certainly. But from anyone else, I wouldn’t see it as much of a to-do. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/58 "2010-06-14T15:41:52Z")
> [@Carmady](#): > > But when you want a casual age-neutral term for female human beings, “women” just doesn’t work. “Chicks” and “gals” sound weird (or are even offensive to some). “Girls” is all we have. If we’re cutting things out because they’re offensive, why doesn’t that also eliminate “girl”? I’m actually more offended by “girls” than by “chicks” or “gals.” > [@China\_Guy](#): > > Is it ok when a woman says ‘girls’ when referring to her own boobies? I see this occaisionally on these boards 😉 Breasts are not grown women. So go for it. 😃 (Which isn’t to say I’m not generally a bit weirded out by people sectioning off bits of their bodies as separate entities, but that’s a whole 'nother discussion.) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/59 "2010-06-14T16:02:24Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > (Which isn’t to say I’m not generally a bit weirded out by people sectioning off bits of their bodies as separate entities, but that’s a whole 'nother discussion.) You wouldn’t have done well when a octogenarian, singing and spinning in a translucent orange negligee draped with bras and prosthetic breasts, danced into and out of the cabin in the remote north-west woods where we were finishing our late night meal. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633/60 "2010-06-14T16:03:15Z")
As it happened, I was watching a Louis CK act yesterday and he [addressed this very question](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdKlB0XqB-w). To sum up, when girls go wild, they show their boobs. When women go wild, men end up dead. 😉 To be mildly serious, I actually do agree with him. It’s more about maturity and life experience than age. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ages-acceptable-to-refer-to-women-as-girls/542633.md?page=4)