# Ah, O.J., you keep us entertained.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 28, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534 "2005-07-28T04:57:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/1 "2005-07-28T04:57:01Z")
[O.J. Simpson Is Ordered to Pay DirecTV in Signal-Theft Case](http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-simpson27jul27,0,4984178.story?coll=la-tot-promo)
Seems O.J. had a couple of devices called “bootloaders” in his house, which are machines that somehow allow the interception of DirecTV signals without an actual account.
He’s been ordered to pay $25,000 to DirecTV. According to O.J.'s lawyer, he wasn’t living in the house at the time, and anyway he had no way of knowing that these devices were illegal.
This guy is just an ongoing supermarket magazine story.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/2 "2005-07-28T08:31:17Z")
“But I thought I could get away with _anything_ now…”
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### Author:  [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/3 "2005-07-28T13:50:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> According to news reports in 2001, federal agents were at Simpson’s home on a six-hour raid related to an investigation of an Ecstasy drug ring, money laundering and the counterfeiting of satellite equipment. Simpson was not arrested.
Seems like O.J. draws cops like moths to a flame.
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/4 "2005-07-28T14:24:30Z")
OJ has just released a statement saying that he will not rest until the real cable thieves are found and brought to justice.
:dubious:
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### Author:  [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/5 "2005-07-28T14:26:03Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#):
>
> OJ has just released a statement saying that he will not rest until the real cable thieves are found and brought to justice.
> :dubious:
Good one. That cracked me up. Thanks. 😃
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/6 "2005-07-28T14:33:28Z")
As we speak he’s looking for them on the golf course.
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/7 "2005-07-28T15:19:14Z")
> [@don't ask](#):
>
> As we speak he’s looking for them on the golf course.
And Michael Jackson is helping him.
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### Author:  [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/8 "2005-07-28T16:15:20Z")
If the cable don’t split, you must acquit!
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### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/9 "2005-07-28T16:34:46Z")
C’mon, OJ, it won’t cost that much to find the real kil…cable thieves. Just buy a mirror.
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### Author:  [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/10 "2005-07-28T16:42:17Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#):
>
> OJ has just released a statement saying that he will not rest until the real cable thieves are found and brought to justice.
> :dubious:
I understand that OJ’s lawyers have already question the DNA evidence that was found on the DirecTV antenna, and have blamed the whole thing on a racist rogue cable guy. Oh, the glove they found by the antenna was obviously planted, so say his dream team of lawyers.
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### Author:  [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/11 "2005-07-28T16:54:06Z")
It’s only a matter of time before O. J. releases the following statement to the press:
Home. I have no home. Hunted…despised… living like an animal-- the jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people… a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/12 "2005-07-28T18:52:54Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#):
>
> It’s only a matter of time before O. J. releases the following statement to the press:
>
> Home. I have no home. Hunted…despised… living like an animal-- the jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people… a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
That’s “rice of pipple.”
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### Author:  [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-o-j-you-keep-us-entertained/314534/13 "2005-07-28T19:47:36Z")
> [@mhendo](#):
>
> This guy is just an ongoing supermarket magazine story.
…And a new, fairly memorable, ad campaign from Vitamin Water: [OJ Found Guilty](http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=22813075&size=o) - Of Being High In Sugar (That Is - Whereas Vitamin Water has less sugar and more nutients)