# "Ah Wanna Buy Me a Huntin' License" -John Kerry
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 25, 2004, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008 "2004-10-25T05:35:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/1 "2004-10-25T05:35:15Z")
Who dreamedup this ridiculous stunt ? (John Kerry going goose hunting)? And the aprt about him buying a hunting license, why it’s as if Kerry hunts regularly with Jed Clampett and the boys!
Really. these spinmeisters crack me up…yopu aretrying to turn a miilionaire aristocrat into a “good old boy”…it reminds of of when the late Nelson Rockefeller ran for president…he was photgraphed eating a hotdog (by the hot dog stand)…the expression on his face betrayed it all …to me it said…“do real people eat this shit?”
Oh well, Kerry can at least PRETEND to hunt! Why wouldn’t he carry a dead goose…was he afraid of the PETA nuts? :smack:
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/2 "2004-10-25T05:44:23Z")
…said the guy who thinks George W. Bush is “one of the people” and “a fearless war leader.” :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/3 "2004-10-25T05:48:51Z")
> [@ralph124c](#):
>
> Really. these spinmeisters crack me up…yopu aretrying to turn a miilionaire aristocrat into a “good old boy”…
And the guy he’s running against is… ?
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/4 "2004-10-25T09:23:47Z")
I don’t think you can pull something like this off if you’re doing it purely as a stunt. Kerry hunts (and windsurfs or kitesurfs, too, I believe), Bush the Younger works on his ranch and Reagan used to chop wood. But every one of those things looks conspicuously wrong if you don’t know what you’re doing (think Michael Dukakis in a tank).
I don’t think John Kerry would take time out of campaigning for President just to hunt geese if he didn’t think the coverage of it would appeal to hunters. But if he’d been a newbie at it, those very hunters would have spotted it and he’d alienate the people he was trying to reach.
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### Author:  [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/5 "2004-10-25T09:37:24Z")
Rich people don’t hunt? Rich people invented sport hunting, not poor people. Poor people have to hunt for food, not sport.
Hunting is a bipartisan sport. Remember when Bush I went quail hunting and everyone laughed because of his vp? Or when someone tried to get Scalia to recuse himself because he spent a day in a duck blind with Dick Cheney?
From what little I’ve caught on the subject, Kerry has been hunting since childhood. At the very least, he knows how to use a gun, unless you believe the Swift Boaters, who probably claimed he shot himself in the ass. Either way, i couldn’t care less until somebody tries to use it to separate one side from the other. It’s ludicurous, just like the Yalie Bush I trying to paint the Oxonian Clinton as an elitist.
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/6 "2004-10-25T09:43:53Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> And the guy he’s running against is… ?
Somehow exempt from the same charges despite engaging in similar, if not identical, behavior over the past four years or more.
A politician exaggerating to gain favor from the populace at large. What will they think of next?
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/7 "2004-10-25T09:44:50Z")
> [@Aesiron](#):
>
> Somehow exempt from the same charges despite engaging in similar, if not identical, behavior over the past four years or more.
Of course, how thoroughly silly of me. 😉
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### Author:  [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/8 "2004-10-25T09:50:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> …But if he’d been a newbie at it, those very hunters would have spotted it and he’d alienate the people he was trying to reach.
-
-
- I can assure you, Kerry’s goose-hunting trip fooled nobody concerned about gun rights. It’s pretty much being made fun of on every gun forum I have seen. Especially the line about how he was younger he hunted other animals, including “woodchuck”. And since four men went out but only brought back two geese, that means two guys didn’t kill anything. So anti-hunters don’t have to “give up” on Kerry.
Gosh, what a brilliant plan.
:rolleyes:
The UN should give him a “Professor of Socialist Waffling” medal.
~
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/9 "2004-10-25T09:53:22Z")
> [@DougC](#):
>
> And since four men went out but only brought back two geese, that means two guys didn’t kill anything. So anti-hunters don’t have to “give up” on Kerry.
> Gosh, what a brilliant plan.
> :rolleyes:
If he was trying to appeal to people who hate hunting, why the fuck would he do a public appearance and go hunting? That doesn’t make any damn sense, just liking creating excuses to call Kerry a waffler doesn’t make sense.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/10 "2004-10-25T10:07:29Z")
> [@DougC](#):
>
> It’s pretty much being made fun of on every gun forum I have seen.
Made fun of in what way? If you think that Kerry going hunting is incompatible with his politcal stance on firearms, then that’s one thing. But my point was about technique rather than ideology. Was there anything in the method of Kerry’s hunting that made it look like he was inexperienced? I’m not an expert on hunting, so I wouldn’t pick up on that; but I do think it’s one of those things where people who know what they’re doing can sniff out people who don’t.
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### Author:  [@galen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/11 "2004-10-25T13:22:50Z")
This hunting business says far more about the state of politics in the US than it does about Kerry. Ditto Reagan chopping wood; Bush clearing brush on his “ranch”, and Dukakis in a tank.
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### Author:  [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/12 "2004-10-25T13:24:32Z")
Trust me, **Robot Arm** , he didn’t fool anybody.
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### Author:  [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)
#### Post date: [October 25, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/13 "2004-10-25T13:33:24Z")
Kerry’s an amateur. Everyone knows that if you’re hunting birds, have 500 of them released right in front of you. [Just ask Dick Cheney](http://kdka.com/local/local_story_344154903.html)
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### Author:  [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/14 "2004-10-26T07:04:28Z")
In Edwardian England, the rich people would pay poor people a few pennies to beat the bushes (i.e. scare up the game) so that the frightened animals could be driven before the :“hunters” , so they could be easily shot-is this still done today?
I can just imagine Kerry…“Jeeves, where are all those geese?I paid to have them drive to us…where the fuck are they?”
Was it quite sporting to use beaters? And if you shot one by accident…it was quite inconvenient! I guees a few pounds to the widow, and ta ta!
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/15 "2004-10-26T07:08:31Z")
> [@ralph124c](#):
>
> I can just imagine Kerry…“Jeeves, where are all those geese?I paid to have them drive to us…where the fuck are they?”
Get it, guys? 'Cuz Kerry’s rich, and, uh, yeah.
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### Author:  [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/16 "2004-10-26T07:14:34Z")
He shot the goose about a few houses away from mine.
If the vast majority of gun advocates would realize that Kerry doesn’t want to take away your guns for hunting, just semi-automatic ones, then this would not have to have been done.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/17 "2004-10-26T07:20:52Z")
Moving this from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/18 "2004-10-26T07:34:17Z")
> [@ralph124c](#):
>
> In Edwardian England, the rich people would pay poor people a few pennies to beat the bushes (i.e. scare up the game) so that the frightened animals could be driven before the :“hunters” , so they could be easily shot-is this still done today?
> I can just imagine Kerry…“Jeeves, where are all those geese?I paid to have them drive to us…where the fuck are they?”
> Was it quite sporting to use beaters? And if you shot one by accident…it was quite inconvenient! I guees a few pounds to the widow, and ta ta!
So Kerry is a rich aristocrat who shoots his servants, and buys their wives silence?
Congragulations sir, it is 12:28 am pst, and I can firmly say, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that this will be the stupidest thing I hear all day.
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### Author:  [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/19 "2004-10-26T07:36:14Z")
> [@Emperor Penguin](#):
>
> So Kerry is a rich aristocrat who shoots his servants, and buys their wives silence?
>
> Congragulations sir, it is 12:28 am pst, and I can firmly say, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that this will be the stupidest thing I hear all day.
But, **emperor** , it was you that _said_ it, not **ralph**.
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### Author:  [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/20 "2004-10-26T07:37:45Z")
Italicised the wrong word in my excitement.
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