# "Ah Wanna Buy Me a Huntin' License" -John Kerry
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 25, 2004, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008 "2004-10-25T05:35:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/41 "2004-10-26T14:47:15Z")
BTW, this reminds me of the time when Shrub was first running for governor against Ann Richards. He decided to go duck hunting when the season opened up. Ann Richards went too. Ann bagged herself some birds and got her picture taken. GeeDubya shot an endangered songbird and had to pay a fine. That’s what happens when you give a firearm to a moron who hasn’t been trained to use it.
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### Author:  [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/42 "2004-10-26T15:28:25Z")
This is utter nonsense. Kerry is a long-time hunter, and has been known for years as a good bird guy - quail, dove, duck. geese. He’s also gone after deer, and does his own field-dressing. There is nothing “staged” about John Kerry in a hunting situation, and any “animal rights” idiots that somehow believe if two animals were killed with four hunters, Kerry isn’t one of them is deluded. Kerry is well-known as an avid hunter, and he’s better at it than many of the drunken jerks who spend their time freezing their asses off in deer blinds around the country.
Now, I disagree with Kerry’s approach to the Second Amendment in other areas, but I don’t believe he poses the slightest threat to hunters’ interests in this area, and he is NOT a faux-hunter himself.
Really, will the idiocies never cease?
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### Author:  [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/43 "2004-10-26T15:30:16Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#):
>
> It’s kind of like when Bush pretends to be a rancher or a fighter pilot, isn’t?
Well… yes. Bush is a rancher, and was a fighter pilot. Kerry is a hunter.
You’re exactly right. Even a blind squirrel …
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/44 "2004-10-26T15:42:08Z")
> [@Exgineer](#):
>
> Pretty much everything, from the brand new clothing to the borrowed shotgun, the odd _choice_ of shotgun, and the time of day.
First of all, he owns his own weapons and hunting cloths, but they are at home in MA. What reason do you have to indicate that this statement is false?
Second of all, what’s wrong with using a double-barrel 12-gauge to hunt geese? A guys I used to hunt with always used such to hunt waterfowl.
Quote from
[here](http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/nation/president/2004-10-21-goose-cheney_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA).
> [@](#):
>
> Kerry has a camouflage jacket but bought a new one for the outing because he was on the campaign trail. Cheney seized on the fact that the jacket was new.
So, he’s away from home campaigning, which explains 1) borrowing a shotgun 2) buying a new jacket and 3) the time of day and shortness of the hunt. But what the fuck is wrong with hunting waterfowl early in the morning? That’s when I used to always go. Admittedly, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but the guys I went with certainly did.
There’s no evidence that he didn’t actually shoot his own goose, only wild speculation.
Bottom line: why won’t these sportfucks who are scrutinizing every little detail about the hunting trip to find flaws use this same degree of critical thinking when considering their vote for Bush?
Kerry actually _does_ hunt as a hobby, and has since he was a boy. What’s the problem?
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### Author:  [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/45 "2004-10-26T16:05:10Z")
> [@Bricker](#):
>
> Really, will the idiocies never cease?
No.
Not that I’m happy about that, but no, they won’t ever cease.
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### Author:  [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/46 "2004-10-26T16:27:52Z")
> [@Knorf](#):
>
> First of all, he owns his own weapons and hunting cloths, but they are at home in MA. What reason do you have to indicate that this statement is false?
>
> Second of all, what’s wrong with using a double-barrel 12-gauge to hunt geese? A guys I used to hunt with always used such to hunt waterfowl.
Well, shit. Now that you mention it, that makes perfect sense. I don’t think that an over/under is a disasterously bad choice, just odd. I have never hunted, or been with anyone who hunted, waterfowl with anything other than a pump or autoloader. You only get three with a magazine plug, but that’s still better than two. Now that I think about it, he probably got stuck with what was available.
> [@Knorf](#):
>
> But what the fuck is wrong with hunting waterfowl early in the morning?
Absolutely nothing: that’s when your supposed to do it. I was under the impression that this all took place in the middle of the day when you’re guaranteed not to see a goose under 1000 ft.
> [@Knorf](#):
>
> There’s no evidence that he didn’t actually shoot his own goose, only wild speculation.
I never suggested otherwise.
That doesn’t change the fact that everything (except the time of day, which I admit I was wrong about) seemed just slightly off, and I attribute that to the fact that he went goose hunting for no other reason than to be seen goose hunting during a campaign. Nobody goes hunting for recreation and drags along a gaggle of camera crews.
It’s unfortunate in a way that I’m focusing on Kerry this way, but that’s only because that’s the thread I’m in. They all do this stuff, and it’s just obvious pandering.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/47 "2004-10-26T16:49:40Z")
Gee, here I find in one of the most right wing of websites, evidence that John hunts often and is actually quite a shot.
> [@NEWSMAX](#):
>
> Recall that last November during the Iowa Caucus, Kerry (with cameras rolling) took to a cornfield with a shotgun and blasted two pheasant. **He folded the suckers**. BLAM!-BLAM! Two shots. Two dead pheasant. “I’ve been hunting all my life!” he grinned while hefting the mangled birds. “I love doves too. You just gut 'em and hang for a few days. I love 'em cold roasted.”
bolding mine.
Well ralph, you might call it a rediculous stunt, but I’ve been hunting for years, and I would be rather impressed myself if _I_ could take out 2 pheasant so efficiently. Looks like John’s been hunting a good long time. Hate to burst your bubble.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/48 "2004-10-26T16:55:13Z")
> [@Exgineer](#):
>
> Nobody goes hunting for recreation and drags along a gaggle of camera crews.
As if anyone could keep them away. Dragged, indeed.
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### Author:  [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/49 "2004-10-26T17:05:23Z")
> [@Exgineer](#):
>
> Well, shit. Now that you mention it, that makes perfect sense. I don’t think that an over/under is a disasterously bad choice, just odd. I have never hunted, or been with anyone who hunted, waterfowl with anything other than a pump or autoloader. You only get three with a magazine plug, but that’s still better than two. Now that I think about it, he probably got stuck with what was available.
My buddy, who goes duck hunting just about every weekend this time of year, just bought a new shotgun, some Brazillian over-under. I don’t know how odd of a choice it is, but he loves it, and says it’s phenomenally accurate.
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### Author:  [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/50 "2004-10-26T18:03:28Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#):
>
> It’s kind of like when Bush pretends to be a rancher or a fighter pilot, isn’t?
>
> Anyway, how many of those gun nuts mocking Kerry on the internet have actually been in a fucking jungle getting shot at? Fucking posers.
Quite a fucking few.
And most of them actually served full tours.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/51 "2004-10-26T18:07:07Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#):
>
> Quite a fucking few.
>
> And most of them actually served full tours.
Actually not.
See how easy it is to knock down an unsupported claim?
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/52 "2004-10-26T18:10:00Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#):
>
> And most of them actually served full tours.
Cool! They should love Kerry then! He served 1 1/2 tours!
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### Author:  [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/53 "2004-10-26T18:28:40Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#):
>
> Actually not.
>
> See how easy it is to knock down an unsupported claim?
Try pulling your head out of Kerry’s ass long enough to join a few gun lists before spouting off.
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### Author:  [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/54 "2004-10-26T18:50:54Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#):
>
> Try pulling your head out of Kerry’s ass long enough to join a few gun lists before spouting off.
:rolleyes:
Right, those gunlists where the favorite bit of ammo(aah yes, a pun!), against Kerry is the much maligned bunch of losers, the Swiftboaters. Yes, I know gun nuts, those who are champions of the movement here in California, ex military, too. Hell, I even work for one who has written legislation and is just about the only gun attorney in Northern California.
So I don’t need to join a gun list-I work with these guys every day. I see their irrationality, their stubbornness, their unwillingness to accept what appears to be the truth of a majority of charges levied against Kerry re: Vietnam. Of course, those same people will grab whatever “proof” sounds like it should be true and run with it.
Thanks for your offer though, I get enough “gun nut” propaganda on a regular basis.
Sam
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/55 "2004-10-26T19:26:22Z")
Since we’re in the Pit, I’d just like to say the only thing lamer than this OP is the clueless dipstick who started it.
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/56 "2004-10-26T22:14:22Z")
> [@Exgineer](#):
>
> Well, shit. Now that you mention it, that makes perfect sense. I don’t think that an over/under is a disasterously bad choice, just odd. I have never hunted, or been with anyone who hunted, waterfowl with anything other than a pump or autoloader. You only get three with a magazine plug, but that’s still better than two. Now that I think about it, he probably got stuck with what was available.
I think the reason my friend always took a double-barrel out duck hunting was simply that he was comfortable with it and liked it. I can verify it was a good gun: I always did better at trap shooting with it. My shotgun was of course pump action. He shoot more ducks than I did., but he also went out a lot more.
> [@](#):
>
> It’s unfortunate in a way that I’m focusing on Kerry this way, but that’s only because that’s the thread I’m in. They all do this stuff, and it’s just obvious pandering.
Well, yeah. Imagine that. But at least Kerry really is a hunter…
By the way, I don’t hunt anymore at all, and I think its sad that Kerry (who really has been a lifelong sportsman) feels the need to do a stunt like this, which then gets called phony and pandering, etc.
But worse is that the people calling Kerry phony doesn’t have a single active, critical bone in their heads when Bush represents himself as an “ordinary guy.”
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### Author:  [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)
#### Post date: [October 26, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/57 "2004-10-26T22:46:41Z")
I thought it was funny (as in “amusing”) that Kerry used improper grammar ("I wanna buy **me**. . . "). That sounds very unlike Kerry. Not a big issue for me or anything, just amusing.
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### Author:  [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/58 "2004-10-27T00:58:50Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#):
>
> Quite a fucking few.
>
> And most of them actually served full tours.
Kerry served **two** tours, if we’re going for bullshit Vietnam one-up-manship.
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/59 "2004-10-27T01:03:34Z")
> [@yosemite](#):
>
> I thought it was funny (as in “amusing”) that Kerry used improper grammar ("I wanna buy **me**. . . "). That sounds very unlike Kerry. Not a big issue for me or anything, just amusing.
dunno about Kerry, but I often myself do that sort of thing.
Never 'round here of course.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [October 27, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ah-wanna-buy-me-a-huntin-license-john-kerry/271008/60 "2004-10-27T01:13:34Z")
> [@GaWd](#):
>
> :rolleyes:
> So I don’t need to join a gun list-I work with these guys every day. I see their irrationality, their stubbornness, their unwillingness to accept what appears to be the truth of a majority of charges levied against Kerry re: Vietnam. Of course, those same people will grab whatever “proof” sounds like it should be true and run with it.
>
> Thanks for your offer though, I get enough “gun nut” propaganda on a regular basis.
>
> Sam
Same here. I am pro-gun, but these assholes even embarass me. I too have the misfortune to work with more than a few of them. They make you listen to their shit, and even telling them point blank to shut the fuck up doesn’t work.
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