# Ahh, the aroma of ashtrays **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655 "2005-05-26T20:01:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/161 "2005-05-29T09:12:24Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > **No, the only asshole is the one in your mirror–'cause that’s what it takes to be a smoker in the first place**. And you’ll be a smoker forever, no matter how long it’s been since you last lit up. 😕 Is this a whoosh? If not, then that’s pretty rude. No one is saying that smoker = asshole here. The OP is about those smokers who are rude, it and those of us agreeing are in no way saying that smoking itself is rude, just the actions of a select subset of smokers. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/162 "2005-05-29T13:38:02Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > No, the only asshole is the one in your mirror–'cause that’s what it takes to be a smoker in the first place. That’s an, umm… _interesting_ point of view. Batshit insane, but interesting. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/163 "2005-05-29T14:16:46Z")
> [@Maendosa](#): > > I miss Los Angeles and their ‘no smoking indoors, period’ laws. I don’t go out nearly so much here in Seattle now because I don’t like having to wash my clothes, my hair, and my coat ever time I go out for a drink. I am in the L.A. area, and we have adapted to this “no smoke indoors” law. It’s a good compromise and it works. Nobody should have to breathe our smoke at their desk or workbench. Our “problem” is with those who want a complete ban. There is no remote chance of compromise there, it forces an “all or nothing” attitude. > [@infamousmom](#): > > No, the only asshole is the one in your mirror–'cause that’s what it takes to be a smoker in the first place. And you’ll be a smoker forever, no matter how long it’s been since you last lit up. Like I said above, some people want it all their way, no compromise. They sling insults (as I said in a previous post) and demand you “repseck their authoritah”. I think my words were something about goddam fucking control freaks. Here’s a clue. Despite your tag or “handle”, you ain’t our momma. You don’t dictate to anyone. We smokers can be stubborn. You on the other hand are an asshole. I wonder if you have this same dictatorial attitude at work or with your family. I bet you drench yourself in a gallon of cheap ass perfume every day, and burn popcorn in the microwave on a constant basis too, dontcha. I bet you have your own pollution – noise pollution. The type who won’t ever shut up, and keeps interrupting those people who are trying to concentrate on their work, because the world revolves around you. If anything really stinks around here, it’s your attitude. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Fringe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b5a626/32.png) [@Fringe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fringe)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/164 "2005-05-29T15:07:50Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Based on my observations, I’d say the desperately addicted outnumber the “smokes only for pleasure” by a huge number Agreed. I know a lot of folks that will take 4 or 5 smoke breaks a day, smoking at least two each time they are out, and then smoke at lunch, and while traveling. I just…can’t imagine actually smoking that much. Then again, I’ve always believed in moderation. Thinks like alcohol and smoking are no exception to that rule. I won’t deny the stuff is bad for a person, but that is my decision to make. The first cigarette I smoked, I enjoyed. Which apparently goes contrary to what most people assume, but yes folks, it does happen. I will not smoke around folks that find it offensive. I don’t blow it in the faces of babies or anything evil like that. It’s possible to smoke without being an asshole, and it’s possible to not smoke without being an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/165 "2005-05-29T15:51:18Z")
If you look at the threads I’ve linked to in this thread, you could see that I am vigorously anti-smoke, but **infamousmom** , that’s way over the top. You’re not helping the cause here. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/166 "2005-05-29T18:54:20Z")
yes, **infamousmom** , thank you for demonstrating the kind of assholish, sanctimonous, militant attitudes a lot of smokers complain about from non-smokers. You’re not real good with the whole communication thing, are you? Because if you were, you’d realize that cutting someone off at the knees with deliberately rude and nasty personal insults is a surefire way to get them to roll their eyes and ignore you, post haste. I imagine you encounter many rude smokers within the course of a day. Here’s a little secret for you: they’re probably being that way on _purpose_, due to your nasty little attitude. And referring to all smokers as “assholes” will undoubtably end up insulting many people’s loved ones who happen to be smokers and will probably eventually end up with someone smacking you upside the head. Rightfully so. Get off your high horse, sweetheart. As **featherlou** said, you’re not doing your cause one bit of good. Unless your cause is to see if you can be the biggest asshole in any given situation. In that case, fine job. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/167 "2005-05-29T19:13:49Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > If you look at the threads I’ve linked to in this thread, you could see that I am vigorously anti-smoke, but **infamousmom** , that’s way over the top. You’re not helping the cause here. Yeh, ex-smoker chiming in to second that. When I smoked I didn’t like being told not to. I knew damned well I shouldn’t, and hated my inability to quit. The last thing I needed was someone harping on it, even out of good will toward me. Snarky superiority and strident insults did NOT encourage me to quit. Which I finally did 14 years ago. So, O dogmatic dictator **infamousmom** , am I still an asshole? Still a slave to the cigs? Is there a statute of limitions on your infinite contempt for those less wise and good than you? ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/168 "2005-05-30T00:59:27Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > yes, **infamousmom** , thank you for demonstrating the kind of assholish, sanctimonous, militant attitudes a lot of smokers complain about from non-smokers. Uh huh. How many smokers have never in their lives dropped a butt on the ground or on the floor and left it there for someone else to pick up? How many have never thrown a butt out the window of their car? How many have managed to smoke indoors without stinking up the entire area? The whole process of smoking is a demonstration of “It’s all about me, and everyone else can just kiss my butts.” I lived with a smoker (my mother) whose friends were mostly smokers, for nearly 20 years. Dated smokers. Have friends who still smoke. Non-smokers feel the way they do for a reason: Smokers. All too often, it’s only the “militant attitude” that gets through the smoke screen. ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/169 "2005-05-30T01:03:07Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > We smokers can be stubborn. … If anything really stinks around here, it’s your attitude. Asshole. Ever note who called whom an asshole in this discussion first? Hmm. Wasn’t the nonsmoker. It was a smoker trying desperately to justify his attitude. As for your other assumptions about me, sounds like stubborn vs. sentient, and stubborn’s winning big time. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/170 "2005-05-30T01:15:30Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > I lived with a smoker (my mother) whose friends were mostly smokers, for nearly 20 years. Dated smokers. Have friends who still smoke. I’d respond to the rest of your post, but I’m stuck on this point. You have _friends_ that are smokers? Your own _mother_ is a smoker? These people are undoubtably sick and tired of your obnoxious little attitude, but are they aware that you think they’re all assholes based on the simple fact that they happen to be smokers? Do you call them assholes to their faces? Yeah, I didn’t think so. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/171 "2005-05-30T01:48:25Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > Ever note who called whom an asshole in this discussion first? Hmm. Wasn’t the nonsmoker. It was a smoker trying desperately to justify his attitude. I called you an asshole in response to your completely unwarranted, obnoxious, and nasty post. I’d do it again. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/172 "2005-05-30T02:52:03Z")
Count me in as someone who doesn’t care about smokers - as long as I don’t inhale a particle of their smoke, don’t have to smell their EXTREMELY stinky selves (as in, only some smokers get extremely stinky and sit down next to me), and as long as they’re not someone I care about enough to worry about their health. Maybe second hand smoke doesn’t affect some people (although I do believe that the studies show there is some, and likely a significant, effect) but it triggers my asthma like nothing else. I start to cough and wheeze. Thank goodness they’re enacting a law up here banning smoking indoors - including in bars and restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/173 "2005-05-30T08:09:43Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > I called you an asshole in response to your completely unwarranted, obnoxious, and nasty post. I’d do it again. Asshole. You probably don’t want me on your side, but I am compelled to come to your defense here. You did nothing to warrant the attacks. In fact, your efforts to stop smoking should be encouraged and rewarded with praise. Whatever our differences, right is right. And you are right. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/174 "2005-05-30T08:59:41Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > Uh huh. How many smokers have never in their lives dropped a butt on the ground or on the floor and left it there for someone else to pick up? How many have never thrown a butt out the window of their car? How many have managed to smoke indoors without stinking up the entire area? > > The whole process of smoking is a demonstration of “It’s all about me, and everyone else can just kiss my butts.” > > I lived with a smoker (my mother) whose friends were mostly smokers, for nearly 20 years. Dated smokers. Have friends who still smoke. > > Non-smokers feel the way they do for a reason: Smokers. All too often, it’s only the “militant attitude” that gets through the smoke screen. You’ve GOT to be kidding. And how many people have never in their lives had a piece of paper blow away, and not chased it down. Or had on too much perfume, or fried up stinky fish while living in an apartment building (thanks Mr. Downstairs neighbor, I can’t figure out how this building can be pert near sound proof, but smells penetrate like crazy). Good grief **infamous mom** I’d hoped that your first comment was in jest. I see others figured you out more clearly. This is NOT helping, it’s rude and worse it’s stupid. Yes, it’s very unpleasant to be forced to breathe in smoke by someone who is rudely insensitive to others, but that in no way equals “smokers” anymore than someone stinking up the officeplace by microwaving leftover salmon loaf equals eaters are assholes. Good Grief, I’ve read posts of yours before, I’d thought you were more sensible and reasonable than this. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/175 "2005-05-30T10:11:34Z")
Pay attention class; Lesson 1: Smokers shouldn’t let their habit interfere with their work or put an extra workload on their colleagues. Everyone agrees with this. Lesson 2: Smoking stinks and kills you. Lesson 3: Smokers really hate getting told this. Lesson 4: Many smokers will grasp at any straw in order to question that smoking is bad for you and those around you. This is what’s commonly called denial. Lesson 5: No one proves any point by the liberal use of insults. Lesson 6: Many smokers are so shackled to their addiction they have conceptual difficulties identifying where smoking stops and they start. Any criticism of smoking is a personal attack on them. Lesson 7: Most smokers start smoking in order to conform to a social group. They are not maverick non-conformists. They are loyal end-consumers of a carefully targeted and mass-marketed product from profit-motivated multi-international companies. Lesson 8: If you wish to taking up smoking as a hobby you should be allowed to. Lesson 9: There is no reason for anyone to have to suffer and smell of someone else’s personal habits and hobbies. Stories about perfume abuse don’t negate smokers’ obligations. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/176 "2005-05-30T11:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > 1: Smokers shouldn’t let their habit interfere with their work or put an extra workload on their colleagues. Everyone agrees with this. Yes everyone does agree with you. What is your point? (a smoke at morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea is all that is needed. You spend yours getting coffee, I spend mine have a smoke). > [@](#): > > 2: Smoking stinks and kills you. Yes it does. What will kill YOU? > [@](#): > > 3: Smokers really hate getting told this. OH YES! Cause they have never heard it before. 🙂 > [@](#): > > 4: Many smokers will grasp at any straw in order to question that smoking is bad for you and those around you. This is what’s commonly called denial. Some may, many smokers are more then aware that smoking causes bad things. Survey smokers. I don’t think most think that they will make old bones. > [@](#): > > Lesson 5: No one proves any point by the liberal use of insults. True. > [@](#): > > Lesson 6: Many smokers are so shackled to their addiction they have conceptual difficulties identifying where smoking stops and they start. Any criticism of smoking is a personal attack on them. Possibly. Though a similar criticism could be made of non smokers (in a very pollutant, stinky world smoking is the worst thing?) > [@](#): > > Lesson 7: Most smokers start smoking in order to conform to a social group. They are not maverick non-conformists. They are loyal end-consumers of a carefully targeted and mass-marketed product from profit-motivated multi-international companies. My Dad is still angry that I started smoking 20-ish years agol As to brands? I smoke the cheapest one. NO brand loyalty just price loyalty. In other words no loyalty. My main loyalty seems to be to the govt. They love my tax. > [@](#): > > Lesson 8, If you wish to taking up smoking as a hobby you should be allowed to. You ARE allowed to be. That IS the law. > [@](#): > > Lesson 9: There is no reason for anyone to have to suffer and smell of someone else’s personal habits and hobbies. Stories about perfume abuse don’t negate smokers’ obligations. Perfume abuse means nothing. Perfume Nazis…get a life. Please realise that we all smell differently. Some like smoke, some like perfume, some like food…shit some people just smell funky. Your smell is not under my control. My smell is not under your control. We have to live with smells…no I will not SMOKE iny your face…but the smell…she will linger. Deal with it. We don’t have some generic human smell. We smell like our lifestyle Mine isn’t the same as yours? So sad. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/177 "2005-05-30T11:54:04Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > In fact, your efforts to stop smoking should be encouraged and rewarded with praise. Thank you. Day nine today. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/178 "2005-05-30T16:13:10Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Thank you. Day nine today. Good job! Good for you! This must be very difficult, but you’re doing it, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/179 "2005-05-30T16:34:46Z")
Good on you, **This Year’s Model**. Breaking the habit is a very difficult thing to do. Best wishes and luck from Auckland. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655/180 "2005-05-30T17:58:49Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Thank you. Day nine today. Former smoker cheering you on! A word of experience – after the first few days of intense craving, the next most dangerous time will be when you feel fairly secure in your quitting, feel as if you’re on top of it, and find yourself in a situation where “Just one won’t hurt”. It can, it will, and it’s the snare that caught me more than once until my final, successful, quit attempt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-aroma-of-ashtrays/305655.md?page=10)