# Ahh, the Wisdom of Toddlers (or: Auntie EM's Big Vagina) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264 "2003-05-29T14:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/81 "2003-06-02T20:53:10Z")
As that 5 o’clock sun hits my desk, I leave you all with visions of Skip & Max slam-dancing in Auntie Em as she finds some well deserved happiness behind the modesty of a large leather coat… ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/82 "2003-06-02T21:02:22Z")
That might possibly be the funniest story I’ve heard in a long time. Thanks for having the courage to share it. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/83 "2003-06-02T21:28:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*That might possibly be the funniest story I’ve heard in a long time. Thanks for having the courage to share it. \*\* Thanks. I have no shame when it comes to a good story. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/84 "2003-06-02T21:39:50Z")
Super Coochie, you’re the one, You make bedtime lots of fun, Super Coochie, I’m awfully fond of you; Woo woo be doo Super Coochie, tee hee hee! When I please you, you please me! Super Coochie, you’re my very best friend, it’s true! Doo doo doo doo, doo doo ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/85 "2003-06-02T21:46:45Z")
Ev’ry day when I . . . Make my way to the bed-dy . . . I find a . . . Giant pootie that’s . . . Rootie tootie and re-eady . . . ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/86 "2003-06-03T03:23:08Z")
_falls off chair laughing_ ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/87 "2003-06-03T03:32:23Z")
Super Coochie, joy of joys, Favorite cooch of all the boys, Super Coochie I’m awfully fond of you! ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/88 "2003-06-03T04:15:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **easy e** _ > the vagina is really an internal organ and can’t be seen Ummmm…depends on how hard you look, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/89 "2003-06-03T11:59:17Z")
Over the kneecap and thru the thighs, To Super Coochie we go; The horse knows the way But what the hay, Its the Best Darned Coochie we know, oh! ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/90 "2003-06-03T12:49:33Z")
Is that a black hole?..phewwwwwwwwwww it’s just a ginormous vagina. p.s I’m 36 and saying “oh look at my vagina” was a big enough jump…vulva can stay hush for now (shit can’t blokes find this out for themselves!!). I am still finding the difference tween American fannies and Antipodean/British fannies enough! ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/91 "2003-06-03T16:19:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by calm kiwi \* > \*\*I am still finding the difference tween American fannies and Antipodean/British fannies enough! \*\* Uh . . . what IS the difference? My grandmother just used it as sort of a catch-all term for everything from the waist down that people aren’t supposed to see. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/92 "2003-06-03T16:35:02Z")
**calm kiwi** must be using a Braille double blind study. A proper statistical sample, within 2 stardards of deviation, might take her a while, given the current US & UK populations. Still, perhaps she’s looking for volunteers? Who’ll take a goose for science? ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/93 "2003-06-03T18:03:41Z")
I love this thread! Oddly, I have a story from this weekend. On Saturday I left to go get my hair done, so my husband was home with our daugher who’s not quite 2 1/2. He was in the shower, and she was watching Thomas the Tank Engine in the living room. Unfortunately she decided to gag herself with a flashlight (no kidding) and threw up all over her shirt. So, she went into the bathroom crying with vomit on her shirt, and Daddy took off her clothes and brought her into the shower with him to clean up. She looked up at his penis, poked it :o and said, “What’s that, Daddy? Your tail?” He said, “No, it’s my penis.” She proceeded to pick up her Spongebob Squarepants sponge, and hold it under the stream of water coming off of his penis, because it made such a nice waterfall. I think that might be the last father/daughter shower. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/94 "2003-06-03T18:09:10Z")
My mom put my sister in the shower with my dad when she was a toddler, and she tried to wash his ass. Yes, I think a definite line can be drawn in terms of When Showers With Daddy end. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/95 "2003-06-05T12:29:45Z")
C’mon now we can’t let the coochie thread die!!! Em has the cooch that never ends … And it goes on and on my friend … Some people started eyeing it not knowing what it was And they’ll be gone and swallowed up forever just because … ---
**Author:** ![Jorel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jorel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorel)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/96 "2003-06-05T16:03:59Z")
(I don’t really have anything to add but I wanted to say I woke up in a sad way this morning…came to work…trying to wake up/cheer up) This thread has changed my mood. Thanks 🙂 I is giggling. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/97 "2003-06-05T16:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KCSuze \* > \*\* > > I just have to ask this, and no offense is intended. How much, er…comparision shopping has the little tyke done? I mean, what’s her concept of normal size? > \*\* Am I the only one who assumed that the girl was comparing to her own vagina (or vulva, or whatever the hell we’re refering to at this point.) Gee, I can’t wait until my little pumpkin starts talking… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/98 "2003-06-05T18:27:16Z")
Big Cooch (to the tune of Big John) Every morning at the tub you could see her arrive, She stood 5 foot 6 and weighed 135. She’d stand there in the buff with her hands on her hips, And everybody’d stare at the gap 'tween her lips. Big Cooch, Big Cooch, Big Cooooooooooch, Big Bad Cooch. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/99 "2003-06-05T21:07:31Z")
Heheh You know how public restrooms are always tiles floor to ceiling and really echoey? Me and my sone (aged 3 at the time) in McDonalds (or some such) “daddy, I need the toilet! NOW”. the toilet was quite crowded, but there was a cubicle free, so we both went in and shut the door, I sat him on the loo and he did his business, then it all went a bit downhill… Me: I need to go too Him: OK \ Him: (in the loudest innocent voice possible) Daddy, you’ve got a REALLY big willy Me: Shhhh, everything looks big when you’re a little kid. Him: (Still shouting) it’s a really big willy Me: Shhhh Him: (With a wicked twinkle in his eye, in a singsong voice) Daddy’s got a big willy, Daddy’s got a big willy. Me: Please be quiet, everyone can hear you Him: Ok, I’ll wait outside Me: NOOOOoooo! don’t open th… SHUT THE DOOR NOW! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/100 "2003-06-05T21:21:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*Uh . . . what IS the difference? > > My grandmother just used it as sort of a catch-all term for everything from the waist down that people aren’t supposed to see. \*\* The term fanny in Britain very specifically refers to the female genitals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264.md?page=6)