# Ahh, the Wisdom of Toddlers (or: Auntie EM's Big Vagina) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264 "2003-05-29T14:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![hedra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@hedra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hedra)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/101 "2003-06-05T21:27:31Z")
fannie(british)=coochie fannie(american)=hiney (or more generic ‘bottom’, but certainly not explicitly coochie) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/102 "2003-06-05T23:26:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lorene \* > **Am I the only one who assumed that the girl was comparing to her own vagina (or vulva, or whatever the hell we’re refering to at this point.)** No, I thought the same thing. When you’re little everything adult looks huge. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/103 "2003-06-05T23:28:19Z")
Made yet more confusing that [Fanny](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Craddock) is also a girl’s name here in Britain (although it isn’t very common nowadays, for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/104 "2003-06-06T04:24:43Z")
Who got the cooch, baby? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world, yeah yeah? ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/105 "2003-06-06T07:34:12Z")
I’m thinking that **em** is #1 in the world in the category of “Greatest Number of Songs Written About One’s Vagina.” ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/106 "2003-07-15T20:50:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by easy e \* > \*\*In my human sexuality class, we had a couple lectures on sex ed, and what we would tell our children, should we become parents. Our professor advised us to use “vulva” rather than vagina, as the vagina is really an internal organ and can’t be seen (and we don’t teach boys about their seminiferous tubules). \*\* Which brings to my friend’s mom, who just never Has figured out Why we all turn purple and try to avoid laughing out loud, when she says anything about her neighbors new car … you know, the one with all the safety features! (I have seminiferous tubules??? I have seminiferous tubules and nobody ever told me??? I want my tuition back!!! – and while I’m at it, I WANT Fully-niferous tubules!!!) ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/107 "2003-07-16T14:30:59Z")
Wow, you get busy and look at all the fun you miss in a month. Love this thread. Had Shaft running through my head for most of the time I’ve been reading it. I’m glad **SnoopyFan** did such a great job. If it’s not too late I’d like to share my kid genital story. (I’m positive I have more than one but this is the one that sticks out right now.) My children barge into the bathroom as regularly as anybody elses do. One of them recently surprised me while I was getting ready to insert a tampon. Couple of days later he’s rummaging through my purse and finds a tampon. Presently holds it up in the air for all in the house to see and says “Here, Mommy! This is for your **BUTT!!** ” ---
**Author:** ![gkkk4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gkkk4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkkk4)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/108 "2003-07-16T16:02:16Z")
wow am I ever glad I found you folks. I haven’t had such a good laugh in about an eon. Thanks, all! Oh, and I loved the “your penis wakes up before you do” answer - that was quick thinking! My answer about the “mom’s bleeding” was to say my body made a little nest in case a baby needed to have a safe place to grow, but most of the time no baby needed it (thank god!) so my body washed it out and made a new one the next month. And Em, you are truly a queen among women! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/109 "2003-07-16T16:28:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by_\* RealityChuck\*\*\* > There was one incident when I was sitting on the toilet when my daughter opened the (unlocked) door and toddled in. I tried to hide things from her, but she started giggling and saying “Daddy has poop on his bottom.” > [@](#): > > _originally posted by **hedra** _ > My son Gabe was overheard at my mom’s house consoling his female cousin (both of them 3), saying in his kindest ‘it will be okay’ voice, “Don’t worry, you’ll have a penis when you grow up.” > > Um, not the way you think, dear boy! (assuming she’s straight) Fortunately, she wasn’t at all bothered by the relative lack, but he felt sorry for her anyway (it being a favorite toy and all…) It occured to me that this defines the different views men and women have of penises (penii?) Men are forever sympathetic that we don’t have one and we are always amused and entertainted by them. I don’t think it changes after 3. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264/110 "2003-07-17T23:24:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jlzania \* > **I appreciate that vulva is the proper terminology and all, \*\* Bren\_Cameron** but the sound of it cracks me up. > Vulllvaaaa. I have a vulllvaaa. Just doesn’t roll off my tongue for some reason. \*\* Does mine… _Ducks and hides behind the bar, reaching for a sarsparilla out of the ice_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ahh-the-wisdom-of-toddlers-or-auntie-ems-big-vagina/178264.md?page=5)