(emphasis mine)
I don’t know any officers who are so anal that they wouldn’t let a single drop of water in an empty bottle through.
I cross airport security with “empty” water bottles all the time, and fill them in the secure zone. They usually contain at least a few drops of water.
And if they did have a few drops, you could take off the lid and hold them upside down. Then no TSA person could claim that they contained any liquid.
That would offer the opportunity of having an engaging semantic discussion over the quality of ice as being an amorphous solid over an extremely viscous gelled liquid and whether or not the definition of the phase transition temperature of water ice at exactly 0° C at STP is sufficiently rigorous to allow a calculation of the total volume of liquid which has formed on the surface based upon convection gains from the ambient environment (minus evaporative losses, of course) and whether radiation can be ignored as a valid mechanism for heat transfer for the duration of exposure, but I fear that this may task the knowledge of the average TSA agent with regard to thermodynamics and solid state physics, not to mention differential equations and analytical geometry, and therefore would probably not expedite your air travel security experience.
However, if you do elect to do this, might I recommend that you take a block of dry ice through security? This would allow you to make the credible argument that the substance sublimates from solid form directly to a gas phase, and therefore will never be in a genuinely liquid form at anything less than 5 bar ambient pressure. (Make certain you use an FAA approved vented container.) I recommend printing this graph to accompany your argument.
I eagerly await word of your endeavor.
Stranger
Stranger, do you think carrying something that seems to be spontaneously giving off smoke will be easy and uneventful?
Well, the end of the checkpoint usually has armed security people around, so maybe not such a great place for thieves. In Vegas they play a video in the security line which advises you to put your metal in your bag, and I’ve done that ever since with good results. I have one wallet just for credit cards which I don’t take out and never have had a problem. I saw a little mesh bag that you can attach to your carry-on and put your metal in in a catalog, but putting it in the front compartment of my bag works fine for me. It makes me less nervous than having my wallet sitting in a bin.
A long time ago, somewhere over 15 years, they did make you turn on your laptop. I once traveled with a Sun workstation packed in a special carry on bag. That confused them, since turning it on would result in a light being lit and nothing else, since I wasn’t traveling with a monitor or a keyboard. This was before 90% of travelers had laptops - and before Vista.
“It’s just sublimating! Don’t you antediluvian troglodytae know the difference between a harmless first order phase transition and combustion? The state of science education in American bureaucracy is severely lacking! A pox on the lot of you!”
That’s how it plays out in my head, anyway.
Stranger
This is why I picture the XKCD guy when I think of Stranger. 
Meant that as a compliment, by the way. The tone of voice is spot on.
If you’ll be going through one of the new x-ray scanners, you’ll have to completely empty your pockets. Used Kleenex, stick of gum, everything. Otherwise, prepare to be patted down. I’ve heard of passengers being “randomly selected” for the scans, but the two times I’ve been scanned (Chicago O’Hare) there was no random selection. Everybody in line went through them.
If it’s just a metal detector, then non-metal stuff can stay safely tucked away on your person.
I second this. Nothing terrible will happen if you forget about your iPod and set off the metal detector. You might feel foolish for 10 seconds but you will get over it. Likewise with your laptop; if you do it wrong somebody there will correct you and everybody will get on with their lives. Relax and enjoy your trip.
This the bit I have problems with. I’m willing to accept that the new scanners will see my entire body (including genitals), if I can leave my shoes and belt on and leave my stuff in my pockets. If I still have to empty my pockets to be subjected to the scan, what advantage is there to me?
Dewey, none whatsoever. Doubly so as the metal detector is quicker, the WBI scanners only detect what was left in the pockets or under the clothing, and anything that can’t be identified on the WBI triggers either the enhanced pat-down or the full problem resolution pat-down.
It is a remarkably accurate depiction, though my head is not so freakishly outsized as the comic would indicate. I sometimes find Russell looting through my rubbish bins for inspiration.
Stranger
Every time I’ve screwed up and left a cellphone or a metal business card case in my pocket, I’ve gotten wanded, even though I passed through the metal detector clean the second time. No big deal back then, but they do pay special attention. It teaches you to be more careful about cleaning stuff out.
You’re right, and as a relatively frequent traveler I do my best to move through the line as efficiently as possible.
But my aim in that post was to try to reassure pullin that a small security faux pas is not the end of the world. Yes, you might end up getting frisked and/or wanded, but presumably that extra half-minute won’t make you miss your flight, and – speaking only for myself, I admit – it’s not that big a deal and certainly won’t ruin my day. YMMV.
The TSA must hate you. Every time I have forgotten my phone or glasses in my pocket I just put them through the scanner and went through the detector again. No wand or pat down. It happens every third trip or so.