# Al Qaeda spilled my coffee! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643 "2003-08-21T12:46:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/1 "2003-08-21T12:46:09Z")
After reading the Al Qaeda claim that they caused the recent power blackout in the USA, I realized that they truly were an all-powerful organization. This morning, I got conclusive proof. I had poured a mug of coffee and turned around to get some low-nutritional-but-high-sugar “toaster pastries”. When I turned back, there was less coffee in my mug and some was on the tabletop. Normally, I would have blamed my stupider cat, but today I realized that it was Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda spills my coffee. They also hide my slippers and smoke those cigars that I was absolutely positive I still had a couple of. ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/2 "2003-08-21T12:49:08Z")
watch out for the old… pee in the ice cube tray… that is a big one for the Al Qeada clan… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/3 "2003-08-21T12:51:38Z")
Your house has been targeted for an airstrike. Missle sequences have been commenced. 5…4…3…2… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/4 "2003-08-21T13:01:17Z")
Your cat is stupider than who? You? Bin laden? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/5 "2003-08-21T13:24:16Z")
In other news, Hamas, the Shining Path and the Puerto Rican Macheteros simultaneously claimed responsibility for delaying the shipment of my lates catalog order, on account of it coming from a Jewish business/beina an act of transnational capitalism/representing a non-patronage of local business. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/6 "2003-08-21T13:52:31Z")
I think al qaeda is responsible for Mariano Rivera’s pitching problems. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/7 "2003-08-21T13:55:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*I think al qaeda is responsible for Mariano Rivera’s pitching problems. \*\* See? There’s a little bit of good in even the darkest of hearts. –Casey Frustrated Red Sox Fan ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/8 "2003-08-21T13:56:36Z")
Mossad has put a crack in my exhaust system, and I’m pretty sure the IDF tore my favorite shirt. Al Qaeda is only the tip of the iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/9 "2003-08-21T14:33:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Your cat is stupider than who? You? Bin laden? \*\* Don’t worry, dear fellow, with some work you’ll develop proficiency in English. I have a “stupider cat”. I also have a “not as stupid cat”. The “stupider cat” is more stupid than the “not as stupid cat”. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/10 "2003-08-21T15:48:10Z")
I getcha. It wasn’t clear that you were a multifeline household, but now I see what you were aiming for. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/11 "2003-08-21T16:11:16Z")
Al-Qaeda delayed the subway this morning. My alarm clock didn’t go off because of the Real IRA. And the CIA causes my bathroom taps to not quite work right. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/12 "2003-08-21T16:54:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Dogface \* > [Btoday I realized that it was Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda spills my coffee._\* That is the final straw. Now they die. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/13 "2003-08-21T17:03:37Z")
Next on 20/20: Recent intelligence reports al-Qaeda is after me Lucky Charms. John Stossel investigates. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/14 "2003-08-21T17:59:59Z")
“I am **Dogface**. You spilled my coffee. Prepare to die!” ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/15 "2003-08-21T20:32:08Z")
Oh, dear. My freeze pop has melted. The terrorists have already won. PS - If al-Qaeda is responsible for Mariano Rivera’s pitching problems, then who can we blame for Jose Mesa? Because one Mitch Williams is plenty for one lifetime, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/16 "2003-08-21T20:59:14Z")
The IRA blew up my favorite bookshop - no shit, they really did! (I was just thinking about this 'cos I found a book I’d bought there) ((“no shit” is probably the wrong phrase since I was sitting on the toilet when I heard the blast!)) ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/17 "2003-08-21T23:53:30Z")
Well, someone’s been drinking all my beer. Possibly the Illuminati. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/18 "2003-08-22T00:07:46Z")
The Goldfish Fanciers caused the lunar occlusion of Mars. Do not mess with the Goldfish Fanciers. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/19 "2003-08-22T01:08:06Z")
I have that same problem with my beer! It CAN’T be ME drinking it all… The Gov’t needs to develope a new weapon that will spill those Al-Quaeda bastards coffee! Like a long-range model rocket or a robotic paper airplane. We have to show them that YOU DON’T MESS WITH OUR COFFEE!!! ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/al-qaeda-spilled-my-coffee/196643/20 "2003-08-22T01:35:53Z")
Al-Quaeda starts messing with my coffee and I may try to join the service. Do you think they could be responsible for marriage difficulties because I never thought of that.