# Alabama School Security Weapon: Canned Corn **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935 "2015-01-15T21:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/61 "2015-01-17T18:10:04Z")
> [@Mr.Goob](#): > > Hell with cans why not glass jars? Bonus shrapnel. Glass and kids? Come on man, be serious. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/62 "2015-01-17T18:22:29Z")
In all seriousness, in an active shooter situation, throwing improvised weapons at the shooter to try to distract him can actually be an effective strategy. If a can of peas is the weapon that you have available, then go ahead, grab it and throw it. But it’s the height of silliness to go from there to suggesting that you keep cans of vegetables on hand specifically for use as improvised weapons. The whole point of improvised weapons is that they’re improvised. If you’re deliberately carrying something for its use as a weapon, don’t improvise it. Or at least carry things that can be used for many other purposes: A baseball will work just as well as a can for distracting an assailant, but will also come in handy at recess, for instance. But canned vegetables serve no other purpose in a classroom. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/63 "2015-01-17T21:17:49Z")
dodgeballs in every classroom! ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/64 "2015-01-18T06:48:35Z")
“Hey kid, do you have a license to carry that juicebox?” You know, when things got really bad between kids when I was in grade school, the challenge was “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess.” If they were super bad, it would be “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess\* and bring your lunch box\*.” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/65 "2015-01-18T15:01:29Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > “Hey kid, do you have a license to carry that juicebox?” > > You know, when things got really bad between kids when I was in grade school, the challenge was “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess.” If they were super bad, it would be “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess\* and bring your lunch box\*.” watchout - I hear that guy has peaches - _ **in heavy syrup!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/66 "2015-01-18T15:20:52Z")
Maybe the potential embarrassment factor will deter gunmen in schools. “He died in a hail of canned peas” is a hell of an epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/67 "2015-01-18T15:56:11Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Maybe the potential embarrassment factor will deter gunmen in schools. > > “He died in a hail of canned peas” is a hell of an epitaph. “he died in a hall covered in pea” works better. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/68 "2015-01-18T18:12:19Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > Glass and kids? > Come on man, be serious. I said bonus! ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/69 "2015-01-19T00:42:15Z")
> [@skdo23](#): > > Someone should start a rumor on a right wing blog that George Soros is buying a stake in Del Monte Foods and then watch the conspiracy theories roll in. You really want to have some fun, do this and also simultaneously accuse the Koch bros. of doing this to the lefties. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/70 "2015-01-19T14:47:09Z")
so, would a kid carrying a jar of peanut butter be escalating to chemical weapons? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/71 "2015-01-19T16:23:28Z")
So, these are little kids, what size cans do they give them? The regular soup can size, or something smaller? Do they give bigger cans to the higher grades? And do they spend time practicing with the cans? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/72 "2015-01-19T20:07:57Z")
Imagine the effect on gangsta rap. Guys singing about throwing down and whipping out their Del Monte. Or busting a green bean in yo ass. Or some fool going for his 12 oz when the corn hits the fan. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/73 "2015-01-19T20:18:23Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Imagine the effect on gangsta rap. Guys singing about throwing down and whipping out their Del Monte. Or busting a green bean in yo ass. Or some fool going for his 12 oz when the corn hits the fan. How much heavy syrup do you pour out for your homies? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/74 "2015-01-19T20:56:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > So there are going to be cans of veggies in the schoolrooms, out in the open and easily accessible, that the kids have been told are to be used as weapons in case of emergency? > What do _you_ think is going to happen the next time a classroom fight breaks out? Classroom fights are a thing? What shitty schools did y’all go to? ---
**Author:** ![straight\_doped](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@straight\_doped](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_doped)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/75 "2015-01-20T03:48:24Z")
what if one of them gets their hands on a can of this? [http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7\_canned\_unicorn\_meat.jpg](http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7_canned_unicorn_meat.jpg) it would clearly cause friendly collateral damage with its radiating sparkle blastwave ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/76 "2015-01-20T03:52:30Z")
> [@straight\_doped](#): > > what if one of them gets their hands on a can of this? > [http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7\_canned\_unicorn\_meat.jpg](http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7_canned_unicorn_meat.jpg) > > it would clearly cause friendly collateral damage with its radiating sparkle blastwave It can only be wielded by a virgin maiden. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935/77 "2015-01-20T04:36:25Z")
> [@straight\_doped](#): > > what if one of them gets their hands on a can of this? > [http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7\_canned\_unicorn\_meat.jpg](http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7_canned_unicorn_meat.jpg) > > it would clearly cause friendly collateral damage with its radiating sparkle blastwave +5 damage +10 AC [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alabama-school-security-weapon-canned-corn/709935.md?page=3)