# Alan Keyes-shut UP! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158 "2002-04-12T02:44:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/1 "2002-04-12T02:44:02Z")
Good lord, can that man rant! He just keeps talking so fast and ranting on and on…blah blah blah blah…in that high pitched, whiny nasal voice of his. JUST SHUT UP ALREADY BEFORE I FASTEN YOUR LIPS TOGETHER WITH CHICKEN WIRE!!! Yeesh! ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Crunch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@Chief\_Crunch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Crunch)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/2 "2002-04-12T02:49:25Z")
Just one of the many ways my not having cable anymore is a blessing in disguise. ---
**Author:** ![njufoic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@njufoic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njufoic)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/3 "2002-04-12T03:10:00Z")
Funny you should mention Keyes. I watched part of his show (“Making Sense”) last night. The topic was the current Catholic Church scandals. I wasn’t too impressed with him. A Keyes quote that made me laugh out loud: “The Church says these are mortal sins. I should point out, because people often forget, that ‘mortal’ means ‘deadly’.” If he’s used to being in company of people who don’t know what “mortal” means, it’s no wonder he’s not a very good debater. I enjoy watching those debate-format shows though, even if I dislike the hosts and/or guests. There was one episode of Hardball with Chris Matthews awhile ago where the guest was Al Sharpton, discussing slavery reparations. I haven’t heard too many good things about Sharpton, but I must say he made Matthews look like a moron. Matthews, who was trying to take a stance against reparations, had obviously done no research whatsoever on the topic. I tend to disagree with the slavery reparation idea, but Matthews was unbelievably stupid, and Sharpton was cutting down his lame arguments easily. There are plenty of fairly good arguments that can be raised against slavery reparations, and this buffoon Matthews was bypassing them and coming up with all sorts of nonsense. I’d like to see one of those shows hosted by a left-wing commentator (Nader?). Right now we’ve got Keyes, Bill O’Reilly, and Matthews…it would be interesting to see a host who is more aligned with my opinions. -Andrew L ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/4 "2002-04-12T03:40:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Good lord, can that man rant! > > He just keeps talking so fast and ranting on and on…blah blah blah blah…in that high pitched, whiny nasal voice of his. > > JUST SHUT UP ALREADY BEFORE I FASTEN YOUR LIPS TOGETHER WITH CHICKEN WIRE!!! > > Yeesh! \*\* Maybe being named after small bent pieces of metal gets him annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/5 "2002-04-12T05:09:49Z")
He does get animated, that’s for certain. I like someone with fire and intensity sometimes, even if I disagree with some of their views. Then again, I liked the urbane politeness of Jimmy Carter, and I disagreed with a lot of his views as well. I guess I don’t know what I want in politicians. ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/6 "2002-04-12T05:59:57Z")
I guess I should look this up, but why is he called “Ambassador Keyes” by some people? I don’t think there’s anything diplomatic about him. Also I think he’s living proof that the Right has it’s own form of affirmative action. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/7 "2002-04-12T06:17:16Z")
I’d just like to take this opportunity to note that there is no more perfect oxymoron than “Alan Keyes is Making Sense”. Thank you. Carry on. jayjay ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/8 "2002-04-12T12:41:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuate \* > \*\*I guess I should look this up, but why is he called “Ambassador Keyes” by some people? I don’t think there’s anything diplomatic about him. > > Also I think he’s living proof that the Right has it’s own form of affirmative action. \*\* He was appointed Ambassador to the United Nations Economic Social Council by Ronald Reagan. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/9 "2002-04-12T13:30:56Z")
Didn’t Alan Keyes tell the director to cut the mike of a guest during his show a few days ago? I only saw part of the replay on Imus, but he looked irritated that someone was doing a better job of spouting off than he does. I’m sorry I missed Chris Matthews and Al Sharpton, that must have been classic. But I really like watching Matthews and William Donahue from the Catholic League trying to out shout each other. They sound like two angry drunks in a bar when they get together. You may get your wish, **njufoic** , for a show hosted by a left-wing commentator. That is if MSNBC is serious about hiring Phil Donahue to host a show. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/10 "2002-04-12T19:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*I’d just like to take this opportunity to note that there is no more perfect oxymoron than “Alan Keyes is Making Sense”. \*\* Heh. When I first saw the ads for his show, I wondered what the people at NBC were smoking. The name makes it sound like the network is saying the host used to not make a lick of sense, but now that he’s got a show, hey! he’s making sense! It’d be kind of like naming a show “Roseanne is Skinny” or “Alec Baldwin is Intelligent.” I’m waiting for “Bill O’Reilly is Keeping His Yap Shut.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/11 "2002-04-12T19:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > \*\*I’m waiting for “Bill O’Reilly is Keeping His Yap Shut.” > > 😃 \*\* Aren’t we all… jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alan-keyes-shut-up/103158/12 "2002-04-12T19:39:31Z")
He does kinda make sense of things, if you leave out all the trifling details as well as the big picture.