# Alcoholic neighbor driving around **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128 "2011-06-02T20:56:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/41 "2011-06-03T19:08:37Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > But give her the chance to stop it. Her life is already in the toilet without tacking on an unneeded DWI conviction just because you don’t have the nerve to confront her. I disagree that it’s “unneeded.” People who regularly, openly drive drunk truly do need some legal consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/42 "2011-06-03T19:10:20Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Am I the only one here that thinks this is a dick move? First tell the old lady that you would allow her to continue to drive drunk and if she does it again, then it’s on her. > > But give her the chance to stop it. Her life is already in the toilet without tacking on an unneeded DWI conviction just because you don’t have the nerve to confront her. What do you mean, “would allow her to drive drunk”? It’s not for him to allow her to do anything. I don’t think it makes a difference that she has a sad life. Does a person with a sad life story get more of a pass when it comes to breaking the law? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/43 "2011-06-03T19:18:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > One thing I’d suggest for the OP is to write down all the pertinent information beforehand - license plate, make and model of car, color of car, name and address of neighbor, brief, physical description of neighbor, etc. Have all that info on a pad next to the phone, so when you call, you have it right there in front of you. You won’t have to wrack your brain for answers, and if you get nervous, you can just read from the pad and don’t have to think.\ This is a good idea - I sometimes get flustered on the phone and can’t even spit out MY OWN phone number. > [@Feyrat](#): > > Of course I will. I believe I implied that in my second post, so I’ll be explicit here: yes. > > I don’t really appreciate everyone acting like I’m horrible for having been confused or uncertain about this, but I understand the sentiment nonetheless. The next time I see her I will be sure to call. > > On the other hand, I will not be confronting her personally, and I do not believe she is a mean drunk or will come gunning for me if I did. I don’t even think she’d trample my flowerbeds. I just don’t think it would be helpful for me to do so, and I don’t feel comfortable doing it. Don’t take it too personally - I think this is more about people getting their outrage out at this point than arguing with you. You did indeed indicate that you would be calling the police as necessary, and good for you. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/44 "2011-06-03T19:21:15Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > But give her the chance to stop it. Her life is already in the toilet without tacking on an unneeded DWI conviction just because you don’t have the nerve to confront her. Her life’s going to be even more in the toilet if she happens to run somebody over the day you give her a warning instead of calling the cops. Better for her the legal problems that a DWI causes than the legal problems that killing someone while driving drunk causes. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/45 "2011-06-03T20:28:01Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > That’s silly. If you know your neighbor is a wife beater or muderer or arsonist and you’re afraid to confront him, does that mean you shouldn’t go to the police? People should only alert the law when they’re not afraid of the criminal? Is this woman any of those things? No. If you’re too chicken to get involved, don’t get involved. If she runs over a kid it’s not your problem because you already decided you’re too chicken to get involved. Like the criminal justice system and a DWI is just what this woman needs right now. If you want to be all chicken masked avenger, slash her tires. Put sugar in her gas tank. Something chicken like that. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/46 "2011-06-03T20:34:15Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Is this woman any of those things? No. > > If you’re too chicken to get involved, don’t get involved. If she runs over a kid it’s not your problem because you already decided you’re too chicken to get involved. > > Like the criminal justice system and a DWI is just what this woman needs right now. If you want to be all chicken masked avenger, slash her tires. Put sugar in her gas tank. Something chicken like that. If she runs over a kid, the criminal justice system **will** be involved. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/47 "2011-06-03T20:45:21Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Is this woman any of those things? No. > > If you’re too chicken to get involved, don’t get involved. If she runs over a kid it’s not your problem because you already decided you’re too chicken to get involved. > > Like the criminal justice system and a DWI is just what this woman needs right now. If you want to be all chicken masked avenger, slash her tires. Put sugar in her gas tank. Something chicken like that. Does it make a difference? Why does it matter if you weren’t brave enough to confront the woman in this case vs. any other? They’re still a danger. I don’t understand why it matters that he talks to her vs. calls the police. It’s not like he has the authority to make her stop on his own anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/48 "2011-06-03T21:13:36Z")
For the record, I’m a “she.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/49 "2011-06-03T21:27:25Z")
Oops, sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/50 "2011-06-03T21:41:18Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Oops, sorry! S’ok! ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/51 "2011-06-03T22:08:47Z")
I guess I am the only one. 🙂 But seriously, if you tell her, you give her the opportunity to stop. If she refuses to stop, then I suppose you should call the cops. If your neighbor was going to rob the bank, would you let him do it and then call the cops or try to talk him out of doing it in the first place? What if the lady kills a kid before the cops can respond to the call? You just have to nip it in the bud. Nip it. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/52 "2011-06-03T22:14:47Z")
Missed the edit window: And you could tell her. “If you get in your car and drive off, I’m calling the cops.” Obviously this lady confides in you and you care about her enough to not tell her to get the hell off of your property. I’m not saying to let her drive drunk. I’m saying that you can stop it in a way that won’t jam her up anymore than she already is. Or if you do jam her up, then it was her choice after she was fairly warned. And if she is that drunk, maybe when the cops show up in her rearview unexpectedly, she will say to herself that these pigs will never catch her and drive 100mph down the road trying to outrun them? My policy has always been to never call the police until and unless you or someone else is in imminent fear of death or serious bodily injury. It seems that when the police get involved, things never turn out how you expect. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/53 "2011-06-03T22:58:05Z")
What’s the more likely scenario here? OP: “Don’t drink and drive, it’s dangerous and if you persist in doing it, you may hurt someone. I will call the cops if you do” Drunky: “Okay, I’ll stay home” OP: “Don’t drink and drive, it’s dangerous and if you persist in doing it, you may hurt someone. I will call the cops if you do” Drunky: FUCK YOU _sniff_ You don’t know, I’m okay, I’m not drunk, I’m fine, I’m fine. FUCK YOU _peels off out of the driveway, hammers down the street_ Talking to her will at best achieve nothing, and at worst aggravate her and possibly cause her to drive MORE recklessly ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/54 "2011-06-03T23:19:11Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > never call the police until and unless you or someone else is in imminent fear of death or serious bodily injury. Does driving drunk not fit this requirement? The drunk driver IS in imminent fear of death or serious bodily injury, AND every other driver they meet on the road is, too. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/55 "2011-06-03T23:20:00Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > What’s the more likely scenario here? > > OP: “Don’t drink and drive, it’s dangerous and if you persist in doing it, you may hurt someone. I will call the cops if you do” > Drunky: “Okay, I’ll stay home” > > OP: “Don’t drink and drive, it’s dangerous and if you persist in doing it, you may hurt someone. I will call the cops if you do” > Drunky: FUCK YOU _sniff_ You don’t know, I’m okay, I’m not drunk, I’m fine, I’m fine. FUCK YOU _peels off out of the driveway, hammers down the street_ > > Talking to her will at best achieve nothing, and at worst aggravate her and possibly cause her to drive MORE recklessly Well, first, she shouldn’t talk to the old lady like a 1980s After School Special. The old lady knows that drinking and driving is dangerous and may hurt someone. Just talk to her like an adult: I don’t like you driving shit-faced. Yes, I believe you are. I’m just trying to help you. Please calm down. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. At some point, the ice will break and she will back off (she’s an old, alcoholic woman). Then try to get her when she’s sober and talk more. If nothing else works, tell her that she can get shitfaced, dicksoft drunk all day and night as long as she doesn’t drive. Second, if it all goes to hell, the OP can STILL take the advice of the overwhelming majority of posters here and call the cops. The only difference between my plan and everyone else’s is that mine gives the poor old drunk a half a chance to keep from getting arrested. And let’s say she gets arrested. She will post bond and be out within 24 hours. Where do you think she will go then? Liquor Store and a hotel away from “the bitch” (her words) who put me in jail. And she will keep driving drunk, even without a license and be even more afraid of cops or confiding in neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/56 "2011-06-03T23:21:01Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Does driving drunk not fit this requirement? The drunk driver IS in imminent fear of death or serious bodily injury, AND every other driver they meet on the road is, too. Yes, it does. But the OP can possibly put a stop to the driving drunk before the necessity happens. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/57 "2011-06-04T00:50:29Z")
People who regularly drive drunk aren’t going to stop when asked. It’s not Feyrat’s responsibility and it won’t do any good. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/58 "2011-06-04T01:02:02Z")
Not to mention, any promises she’s made (while sober or drunk) are most likely out the window after the next binge… Drunks aren’t known for their memories. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/59 "2011-06-04T02:56:00Z")
Why should the OP confront the drunk if she doesn’t want to or cannot for whatever reason? She can’t prevent the drunk from driving unless she takes the keys to the car away from the drunk. She is not legally empowered to do that and may not be physically capable of doing it anyway. I’ve known a bunch of drunks; I’ve even been in detox and rehab with some of them. Confronting them just pisses them off; they aren’t going to stop driving drunk on anyone’s say so; even the cops can’t guarantee they won’t drive drunk again. If the OP wants to do something for the drunks protection, her best bet is to call the cops and request that her name be kept out of it—the cops don’t have to tell the drunk that someone called and reported her. All the cops have to say is that they noticed she was driving erratically and stopped her to make sure she was okay; if they smell alcohol, they have to choice but to take her off the street. And it sounds as if she really does need to be taken off the street. The only reason I’ve never been busted for DWI is blind damn luck; God knows I should have been taken off the street any number of times. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128/60 "2011-06-04T06:18:32Z")
Dammit, people, 53 years old is not an old lady. That’s barely out of middle age. Uh, just a bit of a nitpick that’s irritating me. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alcoholic-neighbor-driving-around/584128.md?page=4)