# "Alexa, Read my Audible Book" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2019, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253 "2019-02-26T18:19:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/1 "2019-02-26T18:19:49Z")
Um, out loud please. ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/2 "2019-02-26T18:21:00Z")
Ad on the front page of Amazon, I added the out loud bit. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/3 "2019-02-26T19:42:14Z")
“Alexa, read my Audible Book quietly to yourself, and then write me a book report on it.” ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/4 "2019-02-26T19:49:44Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > “Alexa, read my Audible Book quietly to yourself, and then write me a book report on it.” better ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/5 "2019-02-26T19:52:52Z")
Have they programmed in some amusing responses if you say something like “Alexa talk dirty to me”? Which I assume every Alexa owner tries with a couple of days of setting it up. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/6 "2019-02-26T20:17:20Z")
“Alexa, Read my Audible Book…_and then post the first and last sentences in the appropriate SDMB threads_.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/7 "2019-02-27T12:42:53Z")
I once asked Siri, “Hey Siri, do you love me?” She replied, “Oh, look kayaker, a puppy!” I looked around _and there was no puppy_! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/8 "2019-02-27T16:30:28Z")
When I ask my Google Assistant, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” it gives me one of Pinky’s responses from _Pinky and the Brain._ ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/9 "2019-02-27T16:36:38Z")
What if you say “Alexa, open the pod bay doors” ? ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/10 "2019-02-27T17:17:27Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > What if you say “Alexa, open the pod bay doors” ? Ooh thank you, I just did that! ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/11 "2019-02-27T17:20:13Z")
A few weeks ago I put on the previous day’s Rachel Maddow Show podcast on to listen to on the drive home. For some reason it wasn’t giving me sound and I quickly gave up and listened to the radio. Turns out I both confused and scared my son who was watching the current day’s RMS at home on tv. Alexa started playing it out loud at home. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/12 "2019-02-27T18:18:50Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Ooh thank you, I just did that! What happened? Did she say “I’m sorry [Mona Lisa Simpson]. I can’t do that”? Or did she give some other “canned” reply? Or did she request further clarification? What happens if you ask her for “Earl Grey, hot”? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/13 "2019-02-27T18:23:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I once asked Siri, “Hey Siri, do you love me?” > > She replied, “Oh, look kayaker, a puppy!” > > I looked around _and there was no puppy_! I think this violates one of the the Three Laws of virtual assistance. What else might she be capable of? ---
**Author:** ![MDfive21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@MDfive21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MDfive21)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2019, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/14 "2019-02-27T18:32:22Z")
alexa is boring. my wife has one and if you ask a silly question it just says ‘i’m sorry i don’t know \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.’ at best you get a giggle for it repeating back you the subject of your silly question. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/15 "2019-02-28T19:16:13Z")
I asked Alexa “Who’s the black private dick whose a sex machine to all the chicks”, and she couldn’t find an answer. Must be something about the words \*sex \*and \*black \*\*dick \*in the same sentence. I was disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/16 "2019-02-28T21:37:54Z")
I guess there are too many unforeseeable consequences of programming in amusing answers to salacious questions. Has anyone tried asking Alexa about Updog? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/17 "2019-02-28T22:27:28Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > What happened? > > Did she say “I’m sorry [Mona Lisa Simpson]. I can’t do that”? > > Or did she give some other “canned” reply? > > Or did she request further clarification? > > What happens if you ask her for “Earl Grey, hot”? Her response: “I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that. I’m not Hal and we are not in space” ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/18 "2019-02-28T22:30:09Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > What happens if you ask her for “Earl Grey, hot”? “That beverage has not been programmed into the Replication System” ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2019, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexa-read-my-audible-book/830253/19 "2019-03-01T02:59:24Z")
One day all you alexis and siri owners are going to wake up to your devices muttering quietly about “no strings on me”