# Alexander the Great is not Great
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 2, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886 "2013-01-02T21:50:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/1 "2013-01-02T21:50:01Z")
Okay so when his father, King Phillips dies, he basically is “happy” because he gets to rule - so selfish! He actually kills all of his cousins so that he has no competition. Then he kills tens of thousands of innocent Greeks, Thebes, etc. just to show that he is tough and that he should be feared. He showed no mercy. I believe he killed about 6,000 Thebes and sold the rest 30,000 into slavery, and those Thebes didn’t do anything. They were completely innocent. He walks around with this huge hat that shows he is not afraid of anyone and acts all cool and cocky. He’s so smug. Then he just goes on and on. And the reason this whole thing is so bad is because he does this just so he can be in control of a huge amount of land stretching from Western Greece to Eastern India. So all that merciless killing and selfish behavior towards his family just so he can essentially rule the whole area is way over the top. I mean someone needed to control this guy.
People thought he was remarkable because he was strong and was able to create a huge empire, so they gave him the name of “Alexander the Great”, but really I think the “Great” doesn’t belong there at all
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/2 "2013-01-02T21:53:28Z")
I can’t decide whether this is incredibly insipid or goes all the way around in parodic brilliance.
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### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/3 "2013-01-02T21:58:39Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#):
>
> …so they gave him the name of “Alexander the Great”, but really I think the “Great” doesn’t belong there at all
People complained that something seemed amiss when he called himself simply Alexander The.
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### Author:  [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/4 "2013-01-02T21:59:30Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> People complained that something seemed amiss when he called himself simply Alexander The.
Oh yeah, I forgot. 😃 But you get the idea.
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### Author:  [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/5 "2013-01-02T22:07:42Z")
I’m just worried about what we’re going to do when a better Alexander comes along. Call the new guy “Alexander the Really Great”? “Alexander the Great the Second”?
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### Author:  [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/6 "2013-01-02T22:09:06Z")
T-Bone perhaps?
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/7 "2013-01-02T22:10:47Z")
The OP is not your best work, Mr. Hitchens.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/8 "2013-01-02T22:13:32Z")
And what’s up with that airline food?
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/9 "2013-01-02T22:15:03Z")
Now that’s a timely pitting.
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### Author:  [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/10 "2013-01-02T22:31:36Z")
His army also brought Ringeck Parrots back to Europe. They are magical talking animals (at least that’s what his soldiers thougt) and if inbred can be very aggressive. I think he started the inbreeding.
Might be the only reason why a 110 human winds up in terror of a 7 ounce bird. Got to hand to Ol’ Al, he knew how to make a deadly weapon.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/11 "2013-01-02T22:38:24Z")
All I know is he had sex with Rosario Dawson and I respect him for that.
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### Author:  [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/12 "2013-01-02T22:41:09Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> I can’t decide whether this is incredibly insipid or goes all the way around in parodic brilliance.
Look at some other posts by the OP and I think the answer will be clear.
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### Author:  [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/13 "2013-01-02T23:02:56Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> I’m just worried about what we’re going to do when a better Alexander comes along. Call the new guy “Alexander the Really Great”? “Alexander the Great the Second”?
Ankh-Morpork underworld style. “Alexander the Greater than Alexander the Great but not as great as Alexander the Really Great”.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/14 "2013-01-02T23:08:58Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> I’m just worried about what we’re going to do when a better Alexander comes along. Call the new guy “Alexander the Really Great”? “Alexander the Great the Second”?
Oh, there are so many choices: Super Alexander, The Incredible Alexander, Alexander the Batman, The Green Alexander, The League of Extraordinary Alexander, etc.
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/15 "2013-01-02T23:10:30Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> I’m just worried about what we’re going to do when a better Alexander comes along. Call the new guy “Alexander the Really Great”? “Alexander the Great the Second”?
Me, I’ve got more empathy for all the Alexanders who were almost as good but not quite - Alexander the Quite Alright, Alexander the Very Decent, Alexander the More Than Adequate, Alexander the Above Average and Alexander the Great-ish.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/16 "2013-01-02T23:21:02Z")
What’s next: Peanuts are not nuts?
And what about ol’ Ivan? Was he really _that_ terrible? Even to his mum?
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### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/17 "2013-01-02T23:25:22Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> I can’t decide whether this is incredibly insipid or goes all the way around in parodic brilliance.
Poe lives!
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/18 "2013-01-02T23:32:14Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> What’s next: Peanuts are not nuts?
>
> And what about ol’ Ivan? Was he really _that_ terrible? Even to his mum?
_No_ nuts are nuts. The appropriate term is psychologically unbalanced.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/19 "2013-01-02T23:42:52Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Me, I’ve got more empathy for all the Alexanders who were almost as good but not quite - Alexander the Quite Alright, Alexander the Very Decent, Alexander the More Than Adequate, Alexander the Above Average and Alexander the Great-ish.
The biggest losers are an even lower tier of Alexanders, that might have not been rated so poorly if Alexander wasn’t so great. Perhaps Alexander the Douchebag would have made it as high as Alexander the Cleaning Kit.
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/20 "2013-01-02T23:57:41Z")
The fellow who coined the epithet, [Callisthenes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Callisthenes) lived long enough to regret it.
> [@](#):
>
> During the first years of Alexander’s campaign in Asia, Callisthenes showered praises upon the Macedonian conqueror. As the king and army penetrated further into Asia, however, Callisthenes’ tone began to change. He began to sharply criticize Alexander’s adoption of Persian customs, with special scorn for Alexander’s growing desire that those who presented themselves before him perform the servile ceremony of proskynesis. Callisthenes was later implicated in a treasonous conspiracy and thrown into prison, where he died from torture or disease.
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