# Alexander the Great is not Great
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 2, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886 "2013-01-02T21:50:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/21 "2013-01-03T00:19:52Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Me, I’ve got more empathy for all the Alexanders who were almost as good but not quite - Alexander the Quite Alright, Alexander the Very Decent, Alexander the More Than Adequate, Alexander the Above Average and Alexander the Great-ish.
Damn straight. Who weeps for poor [‘Alexander the Purchased Slave’](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Zabinas)? Nobody, that’s who. And it’s a crying shame.
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### Author:  [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/22 "2013-01-03T01:22:08Z")
Will Cuppy wasn’t all that [impressed](http://books.google.com.au/books?id=mmROwL4V28oC&pg=PA31&lpg=PA31&dq=will+cuppy+alexander+the+great&source=bl&ots=pFvTzRrMby&sig=zI4Sr2TqvjjFKOQUGnhKWPrkNwQ&hl=en&sa=X&ei=CtzkUJCJBIjBiQeM5ID4CQ&ved=0CGEQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false).
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### Author:  [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/23 "2013-01-03T02:06:52Z")
> [@Simplicio](#):
>
> I’m just worried about what we’re going to do when a better Alexander comes along. Call the new guy “Alexander the Really Great”? “Alexander the Great the Second”?
Alexander the Greater. (Who will, in turn, be surpassed by Alexander the Greatest.)
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### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/24 "2013-01-03T02:54:28Z")
I thought he was known as Alexander the Grape. Live and learn.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/25 "2013-01-03T02:57:33Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> I can’t decide whether this is incredibly insipid or goes all the way around in parodic brilliance.
You ever hear about Wittgenstein’s sheep?
Ludwig Wittgenstein was teaching a seminar on basic logic. He was illustrating a point by saying, “let X be the number of sheep in a flock” and one of the students raised his hand.
Wittgenstein stopped and asked the student if he had a question. The student said, “Yes, Professor, what if X isn’t the number of sheep?”
Wittgenstein supposedly repeated this story for years and said he couldn’t decide if this was the stupidest question he ever heard or the most profound.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/26 "2013-01-03T03:18:31Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#):
>
> People thought he was remarkable because he was strong and was able to create a huge empire, so they gave him the name of “Alexander the Great”, but really I think the “Great” doesn’t belong there at all
Hey, they didn’t call him “Alexander the Good.”
'Ware [presentism.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presentism_(literary_and_historical_analysis)) You are a product of two millennia of Christian civilization. Remember that in Alexander’s time and place, the highest heroic type to be admired was a hero who was mighty and invincible, like Achilles, or clever, like Odysseus, or both, like Herakles. None of whom were “good” men as we understand it today. Achilles was an arrogant prick, Odysseus a pathological liar, Herakles prone to fits of homicidal rage. Then along came Christianity and added a new kind of hero, the saint, which had scarcely been imagined before.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/27 "2013-01-03T04:11:56Z")
He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubblegum cards?
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### Author:  [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/28 "2013-01-03T04:24:20Z")
Defeated basically all neighboring states in Greece, crowned Pharaoh of Egypt, defeated the superpower of the known world (Persia,) but missed the ultimate title because of too many (un-necessary) killings. Back then, his crimes would rate same as the Lewinsky affair today.
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/29 "2013-01-03T04:27:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#):
>
> I thought he was known as Alexander the Grape. Live and learn.
[You otter know better…](http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/uploaded_images/otterpop_alex-789227.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/30 "2013-01-03T04:33:36Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#):
>
> He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubblegum cards?
[Topps, 2012](http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDU0WDI2Mw==/$T2eC16JHJIkE9qU3iylHBQCPjGCtvQ~~60_1.JPG?set_id=8800005007).
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/31 "2013-01-03T04:39:12Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> And what about ol’ Ivan? Was he really _that_ terrible? Even to his mum?
Well, the Russians called him _Ivan Grozniy,_ a word meaning “terrible” not in the sense of “horrible” but in the sense of “awesome,” “mighty,” “awe-inspiring,” as in “Oz the Great and Terrible.”
Ivan was terrible in **both** senses, of course.
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/32 "2013-01-03T05:08:02Z")
What about poor ol’ Alexander Not Appearing In This Thread?
Oh, I’m probably not supposed to mention him…sorry.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/33 "2013-01-03T06:06:11Z")
But what about [Alexander the Large](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange), O my brothers? As Bog is my witness, was he not ever and always a horrorshow malchick in a bitva, be it nozh scrap or pooshka or cutthroat britva, and ever ready with a nagoy pan-handle to give the devotchkas the good old in-out-in-out?
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### Author:  [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/34 "2013-01-03T11:52:20Z")
> [@Smeghead](#):
>
> What about poor ol’ Alexander Not Appearing In This Thread?
>
> Oh, I’m probably not supposed to mention him…sorry.
Are you referring to me?
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### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/35 "2013-01-03T13:18:27Z")
Great meaning large or immense, we use it in the pejorative sense!
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/36 "2013-01-03T13:32:40Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> Great meaning large or immense, we use it in the pejorative sense!
Nah, I believe you’re thinking of Alexander the Well That’s Just Great. Different guy.
Or possibly [this guy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_VI_of_France). Much maligned in the moniker department, he - I mean, you rule for 20 years, you’re actually the first semi-decent dude to rule the place in over two hundred years, you’re even principled enough to take up arms against your own flunkies on behalf of the people… and all everybody remembers is your inordinate fondness for jelly doughnuts ? Friggin’ typical.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/37 "2013-01-03T13:50:20Z")
And not only that, besides killing all those people he cut that knot.
Everybody _knows_ the whole point was to untie it, but Alex just pulled out his switchblade and sliced it through, as if that’s an accomplishment! And all those people who should know better say he’s wise for “thinking outside the box”, when he was really just a lazy vandal.
Plus he made that poor elephant walk all the way back to Greece from india.
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/38 "2013-01-03T14:02:59Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> And all those people who should know better say he’s wise for “thinking outside the box”, when he was really just a lazy vandal.
Well, he \*did \*have a weapon in hand at the time, so…
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/39 "2013-01-03T14:19:06Z")
> [@Revtim](#):
>
> Now that’s a timely pitting.
Could be worse. I had him in the Celebrity Death Pool.
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alexander-the-great-is-not-great/645886/40 "2013-01-03T14:23:59Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#):
>
> He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubblegum cards?
And with a career batting average of .238, I doubt we ever will. “Great”, indeed.
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