# ALIAS returns tonight! SPOILERS **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297 "2006-04-19T14:33:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/1 "2006-04-19T14:33:42Z")
After god knows how many weeks, Alias finally returns to close out the season and series with its final episodes. When last we saw Sydney, she was enormously pregnant and trapped on a ship in the middle of some anonymous ocean, apparently at the hands of her mother. And there was also some nonsense about Syd-lite and Jack v.2.0, Prophet 5, the superfluous French chick who no one cares about, Sloane being all betrayish and whatever. None of which actually matters at all, because Michael Vartan is back in all is Vartan-y goodness! Two hour episode, beginning at 8 PM EDT. ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/2 "2006-04-20T02:19:50Z")
Nice to see Amy Acker made the initial credits (no longer just a guest star) Tho French chick went from opening credits to guest star in fishnets. Brian ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/3 "2006-04-20T04:16:00Z")
> [@N9IWP](#): > > Nice to see Amy Acker made the initial credits (no longer just a guest star) Despite being close to the most incompetent spy ever. Seriously, has she done anything yet on this show that’s worked out? Good ep(s) I thought, despite the big shocker ending being totally misrepresented by ABC in the promos and pretty much amounting to a spoiler which wrecked the surprise ending. Nice to see Weiss again. Hope they figure out some way to bring him in a few more times before the end of the show. So Sydney knew that Vaughn was still alive? I wonder if she knew all along or if she found out after the fact. If she knew all along I’m going to be a lttle irritated because of all the damn “he’s dead I love him so” scenes she played earlier in the season. Next week: Anna _and_ Will! Yay! ---
**Author:** ![running\_piglet\_cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@running\_piglet\_cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_piglet_cheese)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/4 "2006-04-20T07:23:09Z")
Great scene with Jack shooting and interrogating CIA mole right in the boardroom. Bring it on Jack! I swear that he is the secret unknown father of Jack Bauer (24). Also interesting to know that the CIA trains their operatives how to deliver a baby while on the job without leaving any mess. That was the cleanest delivery ever. ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/5 "2006-04-20T13:28:12Z")
Yep - guess they are in a hurry to wrap up all the outstanding plot lines… Does Syd know he’s still alive? I didn’t get that…but I might have missed something. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/6 "2006-04-20T13:31:23Z")
> [@the Lady](#): > > Does Syd know he’s still alive? I didn’t get that…but I might have missed something. On the plane coming back from Vancouver, Syd looks at Jack and says something. Jack says “I’ll take care of it.” Cut to the guy on horseback riding up to Vaughn’s shack. I suppose that technically we don’t know 100% that Syd knows, but that was certainly the implication. ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/7 "2006-04-20T14:00:21Z")
Yep, missed that completely. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/8 "2006-04-20T15:56:43Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Despite being close to the most incompetent spy ever. Seriously, has she done anything yet on this show that’s worked out? She’s no more incompetent than the rest of them…Irina with her wild, haymaker attempt to stab Jack, syney not just shooting acker to begin with. Gotta love marshall and his super-computer program that can crack 512 bit encryption in under 30 seconds. 2 years into the future or not, that sort of shit doesn’t happen. Of course, neither does scanning a hard drive using a laser hidden in a cell phone. I had to laugh when Rachel told everyone that the hard drive was “patched into the security system” because, heh, it had a ribbon bale attached to it. The show has seriously gone downhill…but I’ll watch through the end of it just because I’ve come this far. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/9 "2006-04-20T17:12:27Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > She’s no more incompetent than the rest of them…Irina with her wild, haymaker attempt to stab Jack, syney not just shooting acker to begin with. But I’m talking about generally. Yeah, Irina and Syd both messed up in those two minor objectives but over the course of the series they’ve both been super-spies. Peyton has as near as I can remember fucked up everything she’s tried to one degree or another. With the exception of taking over Dean’s little cell, and gee hasn’t that worked out for her. > [@crazyjoe](#): > > Gotta love marshall and his super-computer program that can crack 512 bit encryption in under 30 seconds. 2 years into the future or not, that sort of shit doesn’t happen. Of course, neither does scanning a hard drive using a laser hidden in a cell phone. Dude, we’re talking about a show in which satellites can _read DNA from space_, and you’re busting them for fudging decryption times? ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/10 "2006-04-20T18:11:51Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > But I’m talking about generally. Yeah, Irina and Syd both messed up in those two minor objectives but over the course of the series they’ve both been super-spies. Peyton has as near as I can remember fucked up everything she’s tried to one degree or another. With the exception of taking over Dean’s little cell, and gee hasn’t that worked out for her. Seems to me that when she first appeared on the scene, she was beating APO to the punch every damn time. It’s only lately that they have been getting less effective. And of course, she is up against “super-spies” > [@](#): > > Dude, we’re talking about a show in which satellites can _read DNA from space_, and you’re busting them for fudging decryption times? Eh…JJ and crew have just gone so downhill on this show since Lost hit big, it’s just not really that fun to watch anymore unless you’re nitpicking the shit out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/11 "2006-04-20T19:45:38Z")
Oh, I couldn’t disagree more! I wrote off the spy shit in this show pretty much from day 1. It’s pretty standard “go there kill him get that” stories with the loopy Rimbaldi twist (and don’t we all remember with fondness the summer that the Rimbaldi Twist was the dance sensation that swept the nation). The fun stuff is the fights and the interactions between the characters. Victor Garber standing in front of the group spewing out technobabble and keeping a straight face, Ron Rifkin’s transcendent creepiness, Kevin Weissman’s stream of consciousness mission briefings, Garber bad-assing his way through the entire world, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/12 "2006-04-21T01:41:19Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > Seems to me that when she first appeared on the scene, she was beating APO to the punch every damn time. It’s only lately that they have been getting less effective. She wasn’t nearly as good as Lauren at beating them to the objectives. Lauren (and Sark, I suppose) got my brow furrowed in practically every episode once it was revealed she was a mole. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/13 "2006-04-21T02:53:15Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > On the plane coming back from Vancouver, Syd looks at Jack and says something. Jack says “I’ll take care of it.” Cut to the guy on horseback riding up to Vaughn’s shack. I thought he told Syd that he would take care of the baby for her. I didn’t think that line had anything to do with Vaughn. I got the impression that Syd didn’t know he was alive, but I could be wrong. That would be lame, though. Also lame was the fact that Sydney was having a breach birth one minute, then the next minute, boom, baby’s born. No muss, no fuss. Took about 15 seconds from crisis to birth. Seemed a little rushed to me. Yeah, I’ll watch the end, but only because I’ve been with it all along. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/14 "2006-04-21T03:10:46Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > I thought he told Syd that he would take care of the baby for her. I didn’t think that line had anything to do with Vaughn. If he’d been talking about the baby, I think he would have said “I’ll take care of her.” I just can’t see him ever referring to his granddaughter as “it.” I agree that there’s some ambiguity about what that line means: it could have been Jack saying “I’ll take care of the situation with your mother.” I think Syd would have had the furrowed brow in that case, though, and not the smiling, knowing eyes. Ah, who am I kidding: No ambiguity! All about Vaughn! 😃 More Bradley Cooper _and_ Michael Vartan … I’ve never been so glad that I stuck with this show! ---
**Author:** ![Iggins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Iggins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggins)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/15 "2006-05-10T20:06:40Z")
Any comments on the last few episodes? Lots of deaths on the last ep… ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/16 "2006-05-10T20:58:17Z")
I have my doubts that either Frenchie or Nadia is dead. Frenchie’s in the opening credits, and Joss Whedon aside, folks who get added to the opening credits partway through the season don’t get killed off. As for Nadia, she’s “The Passenger” and she’s not supposed to die except in conflict with “The Chosen One” (or The Chosen Clone as the case may be). Plus she got a neckful of Rambaldi’s Magickal Life Juice and if that’s good enough to drag Anna back from the brink a season or two ago it’ll probably do the same for Nadia so that she can be killed off by Anna in the series finale. ---
**Author:** ![Iggins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Iggins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggins)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/17 "2006-05-10T21:57:13Z")
Heh, I should have “” the death part. I’m sure they’ll all show up again, though Frenchie seems really, truly dead. At least the writers seem to be trying to tie up the threads. And Sloane is finally fully eeeeevil again. I’m liking these final episodes, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/18 "2006-05-10T23:24:42Z")
I think the eps since the break have been the best the show’s been since S1. “Balls to the wall” is the phrase that best describes it. Oh, and I think that Rene isn’t in the opening credits, nor has she been since the break. She was replaced by Amy Acker/Peyton. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/19 "2006-05-11T00:25:53Z")
Well hell, one open-casket funeral and one autopsy. I guess they really are dead. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alias-returns-tonight-spoilers/353297/20 "2006-05-11T01:00:48Z")
Mmmmm…Sarky goodness…