# Alien Abduction **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 13, 1999, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753 "1999-09-13T14:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/1 "1999-09-13T14:28:00Z")
Suppose you were abducted by an alien spacecraft… yeah, I know, but suppose, and you could ask them any question you liked. What would your questions be? * * * You are unique - Just like everone else. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/2 "1999-09-13T14:47:00Z")
“What are you going to do with THAT thing???” ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/3 "1999-09-13T14:50:00Z")
“Would you kindly remove your anal probe?” ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/4 "1999-09-13T15:25:00Z")
(pointing to Earth on their viewport) “I’m \* really \* not one of them, can we talk business here? How do franchise rights sound to you?” * * * “…send lawyers, guns, and money…” ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/5 "1999-09-13T15:27:00Z")
“What ever happened with Roy Neary, anyway?” ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/6 "1999-09-13T16:24:00Z")
“How does this spacecraft work?” * * * Chaim Mattis Keller [ckeller@schicktech.com](mailto:ckeller@schicktech.com) “Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.” – Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective ---
**Author:** ![smilingjaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@smilingjaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smilingjaws)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/7 "1999-09-14T05:11:00Z")
Would you PLEASE open the door and LET ME OUT!!! Fun question! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/8 "1999-09-14T05:13:00Z")
What the hell – C#3, \* what the hell are you doing here?!?\* ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/9 "1999-09-13T18:15:00Z")
I was just wondering – could I borrow that ashtray? (Readers of Carl Sagan will understand.) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/10 "1999-09-13T18:31:00Z")
“Why do you all look like Victoria Principal coming out of the shower on that Jhirmack commercial?” ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/11 "1999-09-13T18:32:00Z")
I’d constantly ask them questions about Uranus, snickering to myself the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/12 "1999-09-13T20:34:00Z")
“When you’re done with me, could I have a copy of your computer OS? I’d like to take it back to Earth and make a few billion.” ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/13 "1999-09-13T21:00:00Z")
Doctor Jackson, a guy named Bill Gates did that already. * * * You are unique - Just like everone else. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/14 "1999-09-13T21:08:00Z")
Let’s put a little twist on this. Suppose you asked them about God and the said, “Who?” Hmmm, I wonder if this will go on for 3 pages or die right here? * * * You are unique - Just like everone else. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/15 "1999-09-13T21:09:00Z")
When are you guys taking Anthony Robbins home? ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 1999, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/16 "1999-09-13T21:10:00Z")
I meant they instead of the. Sorry. Eye kant spel so goode. * * * You are unique - Just like everone else. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/17 "1999-09-14T00:32:00Z")
WallyM7 wrote: > [@](#): > > Doctor Jackson, a guy named Bill Gates did that already. If Windows NT is the best operating system a superadvanced alien species can come up with, I’m **really** worried about the future of the computing industry… * * * I’m not flying fast, just orbiting low. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_RogersAWC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mister\_RogersAWC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_RogersAWC)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/18 "1999-09-14T02:07:00Z")
“WHAT?!? SuperAdvanced and you don’t have **PONG**?” * * * **"No job’s too small, we bomb them all."** -Ace Wrecking Company ---
**Author:** ![shiningnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71e660/32.png) [@shiningnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiningnight)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/19 "1999-09-14T19:48:00Z")
Um, may I suggest beef, pork, chicken or maybe fish ? The last visitors looked kinda “green” after trying human. * * * Shiningnight ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753/20 "1999-09-14T21:21:00Z")
You should look up C#3; he’d be **much** more interested in this! 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/alien-abduction/16753.md?page=2)