# Aliens only abducted cows and stupid folk?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 4, 2012, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941 "2012-12-04T08:38:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/1 "2012-12-04T08:38:56Z")
Why does it seem only the stupid people and cows get picked! I want to get taken by Aliens … I never seen a ufo and I have the IQ of a pop tart. This is on my bucket list.
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### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/2 "2012-12-04T08:45:53Z")
It’s the difference between necessary and sufficient. They took only stupid people and cows, but not _all_ the stupid people and cows.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/3 "2012-12-04T08:49:35Z")
I think I might be drunk. But I still love aliens and pop tarts.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/4 "2012-12-04T08:52:05Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#):
>
> It’s the difference between necessary and sufficient. They took only stupid people and cows, but not _all_ the stupid people and cows.
Cows are nice. I forgot to say that in my last post.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/5 "2012-12-04T09:10:11Z")
> [@missyzilly](#):
>
> Why does it seem only the stupid people and cows get picked!
Because brains are beside the point if you’re just going to eat them anyway.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/6 "2012-12-04T09:45:38Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Because brains are beside the point if you’re just going to eat them anyway.
Oh I do not like the sound of that! I want to come back alive so I can go on Jerry Springer and talk about it.
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### Author:  [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/7 "2012-12-04T10:21:56Z")
Those “flashing lights” and then a “bright, white light” in the face means the cops came and you were arrested. This is also why you left the police station with a paper-bag suit, because you were arrested naked in the first place.
This is also why nobody gets to see a craft (police car) land in the middle of Broadway in NYC. 😃
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### Author:  [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/8 "2012-12-04T13:08:46Z")
> [@missyzilly](#):
>
> Why does it seem only the stupid people and cows get picked! I want to get taken by Aliens .. I never seen a ufo and I have the IQ of a pop tart. This is on my bucket list.
They take cows because it’s a bitch to get their spaceship through the McDonald’s drive thru. 😃
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### Author:  [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/9 "2012-12-04T13:12:17Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Because brains are beside the point if you’re just going to eat them anyway.
Or anal-probe them…
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/10 "2012-12-04T13:26:39Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#):
>
> Or anal-probe them…
Anal-probing brains must present some difficulties.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/11 "2012-12-04T13:35:09Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Anal-probing brains must present some difficulties.
They just make sure to only abduct buttheads.
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/12 "2012-12-04T13:37:28Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#):
>
> Or anal-probe them…
We’ve reached the limits of what anal probing can teach us.
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/13 "2012-12-04T13:46:50Z")
[Spaceman, oh, Spaceman,
come rescue me,
from this.
Calling all aliens,
come rescue me!]([- YouTube](http://youtu.be/linfImRG0y4))
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### Author:  [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/14 "2012-12-04T14:02:43Z")
I’m ruminating that posters cud think this is another opportunity to milk this thread for all it’s worth with more cow puns.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/15 "2012-12-04T14:08:02Z")
I seen a youtube video claiming aliens are meeting with Obama. I hope they are furry. Youtube also has video claiming Obama is in fact a reptile/ alien who is able to change shapes. Oh and he is Satan . That is one complex man.
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### Author:  [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/16 "2012-12-04T14:35:41Z")
> [@missyzilly](#):
>
> I seen a youtube video claiming aliens are meeting with Obama. I hope they are furry. Youtube also has video claiming Obama is in fact a reptile/ alien who is able to change shapes. Oh and he is Satan . That is one complex man.
You shouldn’t post things like that. You’re going to get visited by the folks from the [Skinwalker Ranch](http://terrifyingtales.blogspot.com/2007/03/skinwalker-ranch.html), and if you do, you’ll never be allowed back.
Seriously, they watch this board, carefully. We’ve had people disappear before. They’re here one day, posting away, and the next, they’re gone, never to be heard from again.
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### Author:  [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/17 "2012-12-04T14:39:29Z")
No, no, smart people get taken, too. They only _return_ the stupid ones.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/18 "2012-12-04T14:41:58Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#):
>
> You shouldn’t post things like that. You’re going to get visited by the folks from the [Skinwalker Ranch](http://terrifyingtales.blogspot.com/2007/03/skinwalker-ranch.html), and if you do, you’ll never be allowed back.
>
> Seriously, they watch this board, carefully. We’ve had people disappear before. They’re here one day, posting away, and the next, they’re gone, never to be heard from again.
I do not want to go to skinwalker ranch.
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### Author:  [@missyzilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missyzilly)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/19 "2012-12-04T14:44:25Z")
well they are cute little things. I would go once.
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### Author:  [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)
#### Post date: [December 4, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aliens-only-abducted-cows-and-stupid-folk/642941/20 "2012-12-04T14:45:17Z")
You know, there are a lot easier ways to get anal-probed. I am pretty sure that it was the entire motivating factor behind the development of both cable tv and the internet.
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