# All about my bowel movements today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582 "2000-04-29T15:20:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/1 "2000-04-29T15:20:37Z")
Just wanted to see how many people would view hoping to learn “all about my bowel movements today.” 🙂 sorry! couldnt help myself!! ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/2 "2000-04-29T15:23:51Z")
wow! would ya get a load of that smiley?? Its EXTRY spacial lookin! ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/3 "2000-04-29T15:26:44Z")
Oh darn. I was expecting a troll. Damn foiled again. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/4 "2000-04-29T17:30:16Z")
Your all a bunch of sick puppies. You know who you are. _L_ ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/5 "2000-04-29T18:21:35Z")
Well, hell, I thought you were gonna tell a funny story! Now I’ll join you in seeing how many hits this thread gets, and snickering about it. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/6 "2000-04-29T18:45:06Z")
B\_Line, since you’re one sick puppy, I’m going to use your thread as an excuse to ‘share’ my experience with the world. Went in to the clinic for a barium swallow yesterday. For those of you who haven’t been so lucky :rolleyes:, they give you a lot of this stuff that looks and tastes like liquid chalk to drink, and they take x-rays as it courses through your GI tract. And since they’ve told you not to eat anything since the previous night, this stuff is the only stuff in your system. Several hours later, all your poop is white. (OK, off-white. About the shade of white chocolate, in my case.) At any rate, it’s extremely wierd-looking. And (as the post title would suggest) it doesn’t smell much, either. ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/7 "2000-04-29T19:01:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > … And (as the post title would suggest) it doesn’t smell much, either. > \*\* Geez, [barf]gag[/barf]I think I would rather hear about B\_Line12’s. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/8 "2000-04-29T19:34:31Z")
well if you insist… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/9 "2000-04-30T04:16:34Z")
So did no one else find this amusing but me? I thought it was kinda clever. Enough of you looked anyway. Did you just feel cheated or duped? ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/10 "2000-04-30T04:23:35Z")
It was a clever idea, but I feel convinced that someone as clever as yourself could have also given us some kind of wry description of the actual act. Mine, for the record, was very efficient with a minimun waste of my Scott tissue and got me in and out in the time of a Charmin commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/11 "2000-04-30T04:37:09Z")
_Thurston Howell III voice_ Pardon me for not being so colonicly enclined as yourself. Perhaps I shall move my bowel posts elsewhere. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/12 "2000-04-30T04:40:36Z")
I have to go to the store now and buy TP and shampoo… lest in the morning I am dirty at both ends! True story. Oh yeah… and beer too. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/13 "2000-04-30T04:49:44Z")
I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately for some reason, so I absolutely live for weekends where I can sleep in. So what happens this fine Saturday morning? I get diarrhea at 6 am. Godammit!!! God damn it straight to fucking hell!!! Instead of sleeping like a baby, I’m shitting like a fucking dinasaur. GOD FUCK IT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/14 "2000-04-30T07:18:57Z")
You know those multicolored tubes of vaguely sugarey stuff they sell in gas stations? I bought one once that was about a foot and a half long, and I ate all the purple out of the top, and a few hours later, I ate all the green, and a while later, I ate all the blue. The next day, my shit was banded purple, green and blue. Like some freaky tye dye experiment gone hellishly wrong. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/15 "2000-04-30T23:16:50Z")
Of course I would look at a thread about poo. I would rather talk about poo than just about anything! I’ll tell you my latest poo story: So, last night I was at a wedding at this fancy-shmancy hotel. I was wearing a long dress, heels, and some rather elaborate underwear. My husband and I noticed this path leading back into the woods. We were a little bored at that moment, so we decided to walk down the path. Well, it was absolutely beautiful. It wound through the trees and the rhododendrons, and the flowers were blooming and the stars were out. It all would have been terribly romantic, except that I had to poo. So, it occurs to me that I could pop a squat right there in the woods. I camp alot, so I poop without benefit of a toilet with some regularity. Of course this wasn’t exactly the wilderness–it was the grounds of a fancy hotel in Princeton, NJ, but it was dark, and I figured that if I went behind a tree, who would notice? But, I didn’t have a tissue or anything to wipe with, and somehow, I didn’t feel right about using leaves while wearing such a fancy get-up, so we went back to the hotel and I went to the bathroom there. Not the ending you expected, eh? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/16 "2000-05-01T15:37:02Z")
Green Bean: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Not the ending you expected, eh? 🙂 > \*\* :disappointment: Damn Green Bean! I was hoping you were going to hijack the thread with a wild sex story. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/17 "2000-05-01T15:40:48Z")
This thread seems to be the place to mention that yesterday I was coughing so hard it almost induced P in the P. You know, poop in the pants. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/18 "2000-05-01T18:48:24Z")
Well, er, ah, as a matter of fact, not more than ten minutes ago, I had to do, uh, that. So, I went to the ladies’ room, go into the first stall, and… somebody didn’t flush! Eeeugh! The toilet is full of number one and number two! Bleah! So, I go to the next stall, and… same thing. I go to the last remaining stall, and this time, the water is clear and pristine. Anyhow, I go about my business, and then go to flush, and nothing happens. The water is off! So, three out of three toilets are now icky. Fortunately, nobody has any way of knowing who the responsible parties are… ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/19 "2000-05-01T18:52:58Z")
So, what is the airspeed of an unladen barium swallow? ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582/20 "2000-05-01T19:10:21Z")
Well B\_Line, you certainly got me. Here I was browsing the message boards to see what interesting stuff I could read about today when I come across your topic and nearly fall off my chair laughing. Furthermore, there’s something like 18 replies I think, so it occurs to me that there must be some really interesting discussion going on here. Well, I was wrong for the most part about that, but it is very difficult to resist reading a post that someone has titled “all about my bowel movements today” (I can’t even type it with a straight face, and I’m at work so I hope nobody asks what I’m smiling about because I’d hate to have to try to explain to someone that I was curious about a post someone put on a message board entitled “all about my bowel movements today”). Good one B. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-about-my-bowel-movements-today/16582.md?page=2)