# All books are to be burned except for one you choose. Make your choice. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757 "2008-10-20T16:45:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/21 "2008-10-20T18:14:31Z")
I’m going to assume we’ve set up a secret library with the volumes we’ve already chosen. So three of my choices are already there, TKAM, Shakespeare, and LOTR. Guess I’ll go for a study edition of the Bible. One with the Apocrypha included, so probably the Oxford edition. Good stuff, and there’s some cool stories. If I’d had a daughter I’d have named her Judith. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/22 "2008-10-20T18:20:17Z")
Does it mater when they are available as ebooks? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/23 "2008-10-20T18:22:24Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Does it mater when they are available as ebooks? Since Fabulous Creature is clearly bent on destroying all knowledge (a) to make his rule easier to hold and (b) to be a dick, I’m pretty sure he’s destroying all the ebooks. You only get to save & keep a conventional codex. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/24 "2008-10-20T18:24:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am a little surprised that no one has mentioned _The Silmarillion._ It’s rougher going than LOTR, but ultimately more satisfying, at least to me. _The Silmarillion_ is to \*LotR \*as \*LotR \*is to _The Hobbit_. I’ll go along with this. I HAVE the complete, leather-bound LOTR - in red, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/25 "2008-10-20T18:29:48Z")
I see that somebody has (fortunately) already saved Shakespeare, so I shall rescue the _Orlando Furioso_. I suspect the new book-less world would have need of Ariosto to point out all of our absurdities. Besides, hippogryphs are super-cool 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/26 "2008-10-20T18:34:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am a little surprised that no one has mentioned _The Silmarillion._ It’s rougher going than LOTR, but ultimately more satisfying, at least to me. _The Silmarillion_ is to \*LotR \*as \*LotR \*is to _The Hobbit_. I considered that, but LOTR has a nice appendix, and I can keep in practice by removing it when I feel the need. And if I can’t have Sil and UT and HOMES, LOTR then encompasses Middle Earth well enough for me. 😃 Otherwise, Newton and Leibniz couldn’t resist taunting one another now, could they? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/27 "2008-10-20T18:36:26Z")
_Ulysses_ By God, I will make others suffer as well! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/28 "2008-10-20T18:38:32Z")
UK Habitats of the Canadian Goose If you get the reference let me know. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/29 "2008-10-20T18:41:26Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I considered that, but LOTR has a nice appendix, and I can keep in practice by removing it when I feel the need. And if I can’t have Sil and UT and HOMES, LOTR then encompasses Middle Earth well enough for me. 😃 > > Otherwise, Newton and Leibniz couldn’t resist taunting one another now, could they? 🆒 Were I not committed as a matter of principle to fostering evil and inflicting as much suffering as possible, I’d grab FC’s time-skipper and an immortality serum and give JRRT the leisure & time necessary to write a 7th & 8th book to LoTR: one telling the stories hinted at in the Appendices about the other fronts of the battle against Sauron. I want a full-on account of the war of the Dwarves & Orcs, and I want to know what happened during the siege of Lothlorien. ETA: Did Leibniz ever taunt Sir Isaac? I always thought their battle consisted of (a) Newton devising the calculus and delaying his publishing, (b) Leibniz devising and publishing while Isaac was busy thinking about apples and not having sex, and (c) Newton abusing his position to make Leibniz’s life hell afterwards. What did I miss? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/30 "2008-10-20T18:44:46Z")
I’d have to say my rare first-edition copy of _De Revolutionibus_. As soon as your flying monkeys dig that out of my library and take it to safety, they can burn the rest down. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/31 "2008-10-20T18:44:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Also known as the “Hey, Mr. Secret Police Howler Monkey! Look at me!” approach. 😉 How well do the flying monkeys read? I suppose if they would bust me for **The Anarchist’s Cookbook** , they’s also bust me for **U. S. Army Field Manual FM 3-24**. :smack: Then I’d go for **The Columbia Encyclopedia** , the most compact 1-volume encyclopedia I know of. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/32 "2008-10-20T18:47:15Z")
The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/33 "2008-10-20T18:47:22Z")
_Fahrenheit 451_ is the only logical choice. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/34 "2008-10-20T18:51:44Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > How well do the flying monkeys read? I suppose if they would bust me for **The Anarchist’s Cookbook** , they’s also bust me for **U. S. Army Field Manual FM 3-24**. :smack: They’re idiots, of course, but they know how to use a digital camera and record everything. They’re not going to STOP you from taking whatever book you want, because that would be cheating. But when the quislings looking over the records of who took what see the Handbook, your name is likely to go on the “talking 'bout a revolution” watch list. [QUOTE=Baker] I’m going to assume we’ve set up a secret library with the volumes we’ve already chosen. So three of my choices are already there, TKAM, Shakespeare, and LOTR. [/QUOTE] Does anyone else see a flaw in this plan? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/35 "2008-10-20T18:52:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Were I not committed as a matter of principle to fostering evil and inflicting as much suffering as possible, I’d grab FC’s time-skipper and an immortality serum and give JRRT the leisure & time necessary to write a 7th & 8th book to LoTR: one telling the stories hinted at in the Appendices about the other fronts of the battle against Sauron. I want a full-on account of the war of the Dwarves & Orcs, and I want to know what happened during the siege of Lothlorien. I want to hear how Isildur got out of Minas Ithil with a seedling of the white tree, when it fell to Sauron’s forces. Also, just what was Cirdan doing on all those long nights, alone in the tower of Emyn Beraid, looking into the Palantir? Communing with hot blonde Vanyar nissi? > [@](#): > > ETA: Did Leibniz ever taunt Sir Isaac? I always thought their battle consisted of (a) Newton devising the calculus and delaying his publishing, (b) Leibniz devising and publishing while Isaac was busy thinking about apples and not having sex, and (c) Newton abusing his position to make Leibniz’s life hell afterwards. What did I miss? Um, guess I shouldn’t rely on The Baroque Cycle for my history lessons, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/36 "2008-10-20T18:53:07Z")
1984 Although I am not sure if I am considered to be “in good standing” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/37 "2008-10-20T18:56:09Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I want to hear how Isildur got out of Minas Ithil with a seedling of the white tree, when it fell to Sauron’s forces. > > Also, just what was Cirdan doing on all those long nights, alone in the tower of Emyn Beraid, looking into the Palantir? Communing with hot blonde Vanyar nissi? > Um, guess I shouldn’t rely on The Baroque Cycle for my history lessons, huh? I wasn’t disputing you. I was genuinely interested. Someday I want to write a story about them. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/38 "2008-10-20T19:02:30Z")
**Good Omens** , of course. Pratchett and Gaiman in one neat package, plus a cautionary tale for Fabulousie about what happens to would be tyrants (uhm…they get to go to the circus, but still have to do their homework.) ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/39 "2008-10-20T19:03:17Z")
Someone think of the children! No Dr. Suess, no Where the Wild Things Are, or even Superfudge makes little Jack a dull boy. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757/40 "2008-10-20T19:19:50Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Flying monkeys is, of course, shorthand for _genetically-engineered winged flame-spewing venom-fanged necrotizing fasciitis-spreading undead ninja cyborg howler monkeys._ They might be more effective than you anticipate. No prob. I’ll just use _Ulysses_. That will kill _anything_. crap. **Wargamer** has it out. Oh, well. Ayn Rand it is, then. Violates the Geneva conventions, I’m sure, but such is war. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/all-books-are-to-be-burned-except-for-one-you-choose-make-your-choice/468757.md?page=3)